Many of you who have spoken to me recently would know that I am really working at the moment with willingness towards true humility. I am praying constantly for ‘the awakening’ of my true soul condition that allows our God connection. I feel passionate about it. The reason being that, as I step into this process I have found that, what I thought would feel humiliating actually feels wholly liberating and what I thought would make me unlovable to everyone (i.e. owning and sharing all my imperfections) has actually opened me to feeling more authentic and I have received the most awesome gift – the beginning of a connection with God.
As I began to pray and desire this process I found a book (which I also mentioned in my last post) called Brokenness: The Heart God Revives by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The list I have pasted below has been adapted by me from a chapter in the book. I have it printed out and incorporate into my daily prayer time most days now. Some of the words in the prayer that I have written that follows the list use a concept that Nancy refers to in the book i.e. (my paraphrase here) in order to be truly ‘broken’ or humble we must learn to become humble with others, walls down, as well as with God, roof off.
For those who attend the Wednesday group at the Wilkesdale Learning Centre we agreed yesterday to discuss the list at next weeks meeting. I’m posting it here so that everyone may have the chance to read it before then.
By the way if you have never attended this group everyone is welcome. It starts at 10.30am.
I’ve enjoyed being present with you all the past couple of weeks and I’m excited to think that we all may grow and share in humility.
Love to all,
The following list has been adapted from the book:
Humility & Pride
Proud people focus on the failures of others.
Humble people are overwhelmed with a sense of their own spiritual need.
Proud people have a critical, fault-finding spirit; they look at everyone else’s faults with a microscope but their own with a telescope.
Humble people are compassionate; they forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven.
Proud people are self-righteous; they look down on others.
Humble people esteem all others. They have faith in the potential for good in others.
Proud people have an independent, self-sufficient spirit.
*Humble people have a dependent spirit; they recognize their need for God. They value gifts from God and from others. They do not resist giving God or others credit for the wisdom or gifts they have given them.
Proud people have to prove that they are right.
Humble people are willing to yield the right to be right.
Proud people claim rights; they have a demanding spirit.
Humble people yield their rights; they have a meek spirit.
Proud people are self-protective of their time, their rights, and their reputation.
*Humble people are able to love themselves. They do not DEMAND attention or love out of lack or fear. They do not value themselves above others.
Proud people desire to be served.
Humble people are motivated to serve others.
Proud people desire to be a success.
Humble people are motivated to be faithful and to make others a success.
Proud people desire self-advancement.
*Humble people desire to promote love and God.
Proud people have a drive to be recognized and appreciated.
*Humble people recognise their relationship with God is their primary relationship. They are humble to feelings of unworthiness and sensitive to when they may be becoming arrogant.
Proud people are wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked.
*Humble people are eager for others to get the credit; they rejoice when others are lifted up. They are humble to their feelings if overlooked and turn to God with these feelings.
Proud people have a subconscious feeling, “This ministry/church is privileged to have me and my gifts”; they think of what they can do for God.
*Humble people know that the true way to teach or ‘minister’ is through humility and demonstration of God’s Grace. They are not afraid to expose their true selves. They realise what God does for them in every moment, especially when teaching others. They recognise all Truth comes from God.
Proud people feel confident in how much they know.
Humble people are humbled by how very much they have to learn.
Proud people are self-conscious.
Humble people are not pre-occupied with what others think of them.
Proud people keep others at arms’ length.
Humble people are willing to risk getting close to others and to take risks of loving intimately.
Proud people are quick to blame others.
Humble people accept personal responsibility and can see where they are wrong in a situation.
Proud people are unapproachable or defensive when criticized.
Humble people receive criticism with a humble, open spirit.
Proud people become bitter and resentful when they are wronged; they have emotional temper tantrums; they hold others hostage and are easily offended; they carry grudges and keep a record of other’s wrongs
Humble people give thanks in all things; they are quick to forgive those that wrong them.
Proud people are concerned with being respectable, with what others think; they work to protect their own image and reputation.
Humble people are concerned with being real; what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows; they are willing to die to their own reputation.
Proud people find it difficult to share their spiritual need with others.
Humble people are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs.
Proud people want to be sure that no one finds out when they have sinned; their instinct is to cover up.
Humble people, once Humble, don’t care who knows or who finds out; they are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose.
Proud people have a hard time saying, “I was wrong; will you please forgive me?”
*Humble people are quick to admit failure, to feel the cause of their unlovingness and to seek forgiveness when necessary.
Proud people tend to deal in generalities when confessing sin.
Humble people are able to acknowledge specifics when confessing their sin.
Proud people are concerned about the consequences of their sin.
Humble people are grieved over the cause, the root of their sin.
Proud people are remorseful over their sin, sorry that they got found out or caught.
Humble people are truly, genuinely repentant over their sin, evidenced in the fact that they forsake that sin.
Proud people wait for the other to come and ask forgiveness when there is a misunderstanding or conflict in a relationship.
*Humble people take the initiative to be reconciled when there is misunderstanding or conflict in relationships. They are loyal to the principles of love and truth first and always and do not allow pride to prevent them from admitting a transgression.
Proud people compare themselves with others and feel worthy of honour.
Humble people compare themselves to the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.
Proud people are blind to their true heart condition.
*Humble people walk in the light – they fully face their true condition and reach out to God from that space.
Proud people don’t think they have anything to repent of.
Humble people realize they have need of a continual heart attitude of repentance.
Proud people don’t think they need revival, but they are sure that everyone else does.
Humble people continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God and for a fresh filling of His Spirit.
List adapted from http://www.reviveourhearts.com/pdf/uploads/TheHeartGodRevives.pdf
Notes with * beside have been altered from the original text by me. The word broken and brokenness has been replaced with humble throughout.
“God please help me to be Humble before you today and everyday. Teach me to live with the walls down and the roof off.
I desire to be near you and to bring glory to you. Help me to be humble to my failings and pain so that I may never cultivate addiction and instead live in the shadow of your love every hour and moment of my life.”
I find this a terrific roadmap Mary, thank you. I see a lot of pride in me. I will save this.I was puzzled over one though, would you please elaborate on this one?"Humble people are concerned with being real; what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows; they are willing to die to their own reputation."
Stop pretending to be me. I am giving you a chance to redeem yourself. Why are you foolishly following AJ miller? He is not the real savior. Nor you're the real Mary Magdalene. Remember what I said about cloning? Well, I forgot to mention one more thing. People can't clone people they don't have the real power or technology to create from their spirits. Only the spirit(God) can. Okay? If you keep on going with your fraudulent behavior I am sorry to say you will not be deemed worthy to enter the ultimate paradise with Henry and me(The Real Mary Magdalene). This is a fair warning. Thank you and have a good day.-Susan Marie TowerPS. I will keep on checking up on you. If I find you are still portraying me then that's your choice. I already know you're not taking me seriously. Well, I'm serious about this. Bye for now, child.
Hi Teresa,I take this comment to mean that a humble person knows that God truly sees their heart, they are concerned with changing their heart (and being real) rather than investing in a good reputation or image. They understand that it is the true state of their soul that measures their development (what God sees) and are not invested the image they present to the world (what others think).Hope that answers your question.love to you,Mary
Hi Susan,I often find it quite difficult to have the little description that I have written up there under my photo (which explains who I am) to remain where it is. There are many days I want to run to the computer and delete it because I still fear the judgement and ridicule that others project at me for saying that I am Mary Magdalene and that my partner is Jesus. The reason I do not take it down is simply that I know that I am not pretending anything. I am having a very real, often frightening and overwhelming experience. This has been going on over a period of quite some time now and has led me to a feeling and knowing of who I am. I am humbly asking to God to help me to understand this experience every day! It is not one I have welcomed and believe me if, at any time in the future, I found that I had in some way been mistaken about this I would go to great lengths to ensure that anyone and everyone knew that I had been wrong. I do not wish to mislead, to falsify or to claim an identity that is not my own. However, given my experiences, and my lengthy investigation into possible explanations for it, I am convinced that I am who I say I am. And my dedication to presenting myself honestly and truthfully dictates that I must therefore be open about what I believe if I am to write a blog about my experiences.I understand that you also feel that you are Mary Magdalene. I have no desire to hide your feelings about that from anyone else and I am happy for every person to make up their own minds about it. You have said that I have not taken you seriously – in one way you are right – I have not taken seriously your claim that you are a reincarnated person i.e. me. That is because I do not feel that speaking in riddles or about codes and cloning prove anything or is of particular relevance to spiritual matters. I believe that our ability to give and display LOVE is the measure of our ‘awakening’ (to use your term) or (to use mine) our level of spiritual development. To be honest I have not found your interactions with me to be loving – I have found them to be condescending, threatening and belittling. In another way I feel I have taken you ‘seriously’ and that is that I have regarded you as my sister, I have read your words and I have prayed that you may come to some deeper level of love within yourself.As for my entry into the ‘ultimate paradise’ as you term it, I am confident that our Father has laid out laws governed by love that will dictate where I will and will not enter spiritually. I do not believe yourself or Henry has any say in it! Nor do I believe that myself or Jesus decide such matters. There is a God – who is all loving and merciful – who sees my heart and my intentions. I trust in Him to lovingly assist me to grow towards Him and through His Laws demonstrate to me when I may stray from matters of Truth and Love. I pray always to remain humble in this process.Susan, I have responded to your posts here because, as you have posted anonymously, I have no other way to communicate with you. However I do not intend for this blog to be a place for insults or denigration of me or anyone else so I do not intend on engaging in lengthy debate with you. I will refrain in future from posting your comments if they are insulting, threatening or condescending and will not respond further to any such posts from yourself or anyone else. There are many other spaces on the internet where people are able to anonymously cast aspersions, insults and threats. I have always intended for this blog to be a space where love and respect can be championed. I feel this is a gift we may give each other.Your sister,Mary Magdalene
3rd time lucky… having a bit of a trouble posting this!thank you for your response Mary,looking at this again today, I see what I didn't see the other day, funny how that happens (we are clever critters hiding stuff from ourselves!).With lots of love to you and Yeshuathank you,Teresa
Thank you so very much Mary this post and your blog has helped me to make leaps and bounds in my progression towards God. Thank you for taking the time to put it together for us so we can look at ourselves truthfully. Still working through it though, keep on plodding on :o)
Much love Jen xx