Removing People from our Audiences:

A letter exchange

G’s Letter to Mary & Jesus:

Hi AJ and Mary,

Supportive, encouraging, kind, sensitive, helpful, friendly, warm and open.
These are not words that spring to mind when watching the last set of divine truth videos.
I know you have your reasons for telling all those people to leave but I am struggling with it being loving. I thought they there for assistance not “You haven’t changed, we’re giving up on you now. Please leave!”

To see Mary start a 4 minute video laughing and joking about pulling faces and then in the next breath telling L___ to leave and no longer volunteer after countless years of volunteer work and supposed friendship made me feel a little sick. Another one bites the dust. How many is this now?

“You will recognise them by their fruits.”
I am so confused. You have both taught me so much for which I am grateful but I just don’t get what you are doing in these last assistance groups. Hard love I think is fine except where it is so harsh that every recipient just leaves and wants nothing to do with divine truth ever again.

This makes little sense to me and I feel compelled to comment.
Regards,
G_____

Photos courtesy of Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

Photos courtesy of Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

My Response to G.:

Good morning G____,

I have to say that you aren’t being logical or informed in the writing of this email.

The truth is that both Jesus and I have been extremely kind, supportive and generous with our time with everyone that we asked to leave the assistance group – as each one of those people individually knows. But each person we asked to leave has not been any of those things towards us or towards the other people who attend our groups. Since we offer our time and teaching for free there does come a time when it is important for us to uphold a space that promotes learning for our participants and is comfortable for us to teach in.

The people that were asked to leave had been given many chances to change, ignored all of them and continued to treat us and others very badly. Many of these people have been angry, vengeful or extremely demanding, critical and condescending towards us and other participants during our presentations and towards us outside of presentations. How would we be ethical to the other people in attendance if we left such people in our audiences? It would be like saying “we are here to teach you about being loving and truthful in your lives but at the same time we are allowing people to freely come and be unloving and untruthful towards you and us while you try to learn it”.

If people don’t stand up when others are being unloving then they aren’t neutral, they support the unloving position. This is why we decided to remove those people from the groups.

Regarding the morning I removed L___, I was feeling extremely nervous about doing it as L___ has a long history of becoming enraged with me after me sharing anything that challenges her. In one instance she did not speak to me for 6 months after I made a couple of comments to her about a single addiction she was acting in at the time. While you say that we have had countless years of friendship, I think that you are confusing our kind treatment of L___ and friendship towards her with her being a friend to us.

L___ has always had an extremely high level of demand towards Jesus and reverted to attack or extreme negativity and criticism of him when challenged on these issues. She has also been simultaneously demanding, condescending and critical of me for many years. L___ has many qualities that we enjoy but she has certainly not ever been a friend or loving towards us.

Before removing L__ I was very conscious of not wanting to transfer my nerves to the group we were teaching and I tried to keep things light leading into the morning. (This was actually futile as everyone picked up on my fear anyway). However when it came to addressing L___ it was quite obvious that I was very nervous. I feel though that I was clear with her about the issues (as both Jesus and I have been for nearly 6 years), I wasn’t nasty or unkind and I tried to explain the problems she has to the best that my current condition allows in such a situation. My one regret in sitting down afterwards was that I didn’t publicly thank her for work volunteering towards creating Divine Truth materials for others however both Jesus and I have made this thanks many times publicly and privately in the past. We are grateful, however ‘works’ based on addiction (which is what L__ has been doing) do not excuse poor treatment of others or ourselves.

I understand that you may now feel that we (or I) have become unkind in the way that we approach our public teaching but we certainly don’t have the attitude that you state “You haven’t changed so you have to leave” towards people. We are simply becoming more firm about people who have unloving behaviour towards others during our groups because to do otherwise, to allow these people to stay or to not address these people, is providing a space for that kind of behaviour to continue unchecked. We do not want to support people at our groups to abuse ourselves or others. Many people, like L___, have listened for years thinking they are applying what we teach while at the same time being abusive to ourselves and others.

I don’t believe that you are analysing our removal of people at our last group very fairly or with much logic. You are basically saying that it is OK for people to abuse us, to be angry and condescending towards us for years and years and we should continue giving them as a gift our time and energy and effort. We don’t agree with that. We would prefer to give our time and energy and effort to people who have demonstrated that they are sincere and have a willingness to apply what they are being taught. To share our time with any other kind of person would be an extreme unloving act towards ourselves. You are also not considering how much time we have personally given L___ (which we do not begrudge at all) and not considering that the time that L___ ‘gave’ was not to us but rather so that others could hear Divine Truth.

So G____, we understand that you don’t yet understand love of self, or really understand love of others and while both Jesus and I are very fond of you, I understand that you may no longer feel that way towards us.

I know a lot of other people feel the same way as you do about our recent actions because these actions confront many personal addictions people have and their expectations of what “love” would do. But that is only the world’s definition of “love”. If you believe that “love” is silent and inactive when unloving and untruthful things go on or that a “loving” person must continue for years to put up with abuse and attack of themselves or others without taking any peaceful and truthful action to confront that attack then obviously your own definition of love is flawed and certainly not God’s.

I also think that God’s Truth will necessarily challenge people on many levels (since the world currently lives in so much opposition to it) and so while you are concerned that “another one bites the dust”, we aren’t. We have given L___ yet another opportunity to address her many unloving addictions and attitudes but this time we are limiting her ability to continue her unloving behaviour towards ourselves and others.  She is faced with a choice and if she has a true desire to love she will examine it sincerely and address the issue. And if that happens, I am sure we will see her again.

I ran this email by Jesus and his final comment to me was that he finds it interesting that you continue to have very little trust of his decisions and actions even after years of knowing him.

Love

Mary

Photo by Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

G’s Response to Mary:

Ha Mary,

Thank you for your response. It makes perfect sense considering what you have now explained. I guess not knowing the background of these people and their relationship towards you caused me to make an uninformed judgement. It just seemed a bit odd to watch all these people get turfed out of a place they had come to for help.

Sorry for jumping down your throat and questioning your judgement. I guess I just really felt sorry for them as they seemed to me to be vulnerable and destroyed by your decision. If they have treated you as you say then I agree your actions are quite justified and I would probably do the same.

Kindest regards,
G____

Photo by Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

My Second Response to G.:

Hi G____,

Since our exchange I’ve been thinking about publishing the emails on my blog or our website. I don’t want to expose L___ anymore than she already must feel, but I do think that many other people probably haven’t considered why we made the choices we did at the Assistance Group or know the full back story.

You mentioned people coming to our groups for “help”.

Jesus and I are teachers. What we teach is the way to establish a relationship with God. So the only way in which we “help” is to teach these principles and to be honest with people as we do so. We don’t present ourselves as gurus or counselors, and in fact, we do a lot to attempt to correct people when they have this perception of us or try to place us in that role. We never want people to be dependent upon us. In fact a key part of forming a relationship with God is become self responsible and to receive “help” directly from God. We talk about this often. And we certainly never view the people who come to our talks in such a condescending manner as to assume that they can’t become self responsible people who can grow towards God. We have confidence that each person can do so.

So the only “help” we offer is to teach what is involved in forming a personal relationship with God (with no need for an intermediary) and we attempt to share what we have learned and the benefits we have gained from developing such a relationship so that people might see the personal benefits of connecting to God.

Often I really question if people come to our talks to receive help in forming this relationship with God. Certainly, for many, I think they come because they like hearing all of the positive, wonderful provisions that God has made for us and the Love that He has for us. I notice that people want to feel “good” and become happier but they don’t like being challenged on what they are doing right now that is unloving or hurtful towards others or even themselves. That is, they don’t seem to want to know about what are the causes of their current unhappiness or to take action to remedy those causes within themselves.

So I can’t really call that “coming to groups to be assisted”. In those cases it looks a lot more like they come to  inspired briefly, to avoid personal sadness and in many cases to be told what to do (which we never do) or to seek to blame others rather than to change personally themselves (something that we never endorse or encourage).

As we teach, one of the essential first steps required in order to establish a relationship with God is to have the desire to see our current condition. In other words, it is impossible to establish and maintain a relationship with God without the desire to accept how we are right now and the desire to bring that condition more in harmony with God’s Love and Truth. When people, such as those we asked to leave our latest Assistance Group, lack the desire to see how their current condition is harmful and justify holding onto that state to the detriment to others around them, then they are not sincere in their desire to be assisted and they are negatively impacting upon those around them who may be more sincere in their desire.

So when people look “gutted” at our removal or firmness with them, in those moments I don’t know how many are truly examining the poor treatment they have been dishing out towards others or towards us for many years; they are often just feeling upset that we are no longer meeting their addiction to making them “feel good” about themselves and their current condition while they continue to treat other people badly without any self reflection about the problem.

I certainly can’t see that our clear and kind interactions with the people we asked to leave have the power to “destroy” them. Every person who we removed from our groups actually forced us to make a decision which would have been unnecessary had they chosen differently.  They had already received a lot of clear and kind feedback on the negative and unloving way they were treating others and they chose not to acknowledge the problem.

Telling the truth is not a destructive act.

This is particularly so when it is done with the kindness with which we did it in the group. And this was after years of patience and explanation of the causes of the problems for each individual involved (many of which were actually recorded and can be viewed in our videos).

Because Jesus and I don’t project hurt or fear onto audiences in response to their harsh treatment towards us, very few people seem to consider whether or not what they are doing or demanding during our presentations is in or out of harmony with love – even if we speak very directly and in no uncertain terms to them about how it is unloving. This is why we decided it was important to take action. We have done a lot of talking to each individual we removed but it had made no impact. We find that acting has far more impact on people than talking and also it alleviates the poor treatment of the rest of the audience.

One larger lesson in all this, which we all much consider for ourselves, is – if a person doesn’t complain, or get angry in response to our unloving behaviour, it doesn’t lessen the compensatory pain we create for ourselves by treating them badly.

Many people choose to believe that if people or the environment around them don’t protest or try to punish them for their behaviour then it must mean that they don’t have a problem in the way that I are or what they are doing to others. But in truth, when a person doesn’t respond in rage or retribution when they are being harmed it only says good things about their condition in love. The person doing the harm may choose to see the lack of protest as confirmation of their righteousness or goodness but in truth they are creating a lot of pain for themselves and perpetuating a lot of unhappiness in the universe.

True humility involves the desire to examine oneself, to reflect and to evaluate our own condition. This means having the desire to become sensitive to the compensatory pain that God’s Laws generate for us automatically while we hold onto error and injured perceptions of love within ourselves. This is the gift of ‘a conscience that bothers us’ which God has so lovingly created. He has done this so that we can independently evaluate our own actions and bring our soul into more harmony with Love.

I notice that very few people have made this step towards humility and therefore don’t examine their own selves or behaviour very much unless people in their environment mount violent opposition or an extremely painful event occurs in their lives.

I think true self responsibility is rarely seen on earth but it a very worthy thing to aspire to. And certainly it is essential if one is to become truly happy or to establish a strong and lasting relationship with God.

On a note for you personally, your response to Jesus and my decision to remove people from our groups demonstrates a lot about how you view Jesus and I, how you view truth, and what you consider to be acceptable treatment of people who give gifts and teach for free.

You clearly view being truthful with others as hurtful – or as you put it “destructive”.

You were willing to judge and criticise Jesus and I without determination of any facts, even after years of knowing us. In those years we have had a number of personal interactions with you, including you visiting our home more than once, and we have never treated you or anyone in our company at those times harshly or with judgement. I feel that our actions should have proven our loving behaviour to you many times over the past 5 years. Your quickness to “question our judgement” demonstrates your own lack of trust of us and your action to “jump down our throat” (as you called it) demonstrates a lack in your desire to love.

You were quick to defend L___ who has been very demanding and unloving towards Jesus, myself and many others who attend our groups And I clearly stated my reasons for removing L___ during the video. So, in your defense of a person who has been abusive you were willing to be attacking of a person who has not been abusive.

Despite Jesus’ clear explanation at the start of the group as to why we were taking the actions we took, you still viewed our removing people as unloving, unkind and uncaring. This indicates that you feel that we should have continued to receive unloving treatment and to allow that treatment towards others while at a free event in which upholding the atmosphere of love and truth is our responsibility. This is saying that more loving and more responsible people should make allowances, “put up with” and never challenge those who are unloving, attacking or arrogant.

This very attitude, that exists all over the earth, is the reason so much injustice and abuse is allowed to continue unchecked. Your willingness to attack us for putting a stop to unloving behaviour in our seminars in a kind and loving way, indicates your alliance with this kind of attitude that perpetuates suffering on the planet.

Lastly, it struck me that out of over 60 hours of free material which we have just posted online all about God and God’s Loving Laws, material which I feel has the potential to be life changing for anyone who engages with it, your only response to us was to be critical and attacking of 4 minutes in which I challenged a woman on her unloving treatment of ourselves.

With my best wishes,

Mary

Photo by Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

One thought on “Removing People from our Audiences:

  1. Pingback: Removing People from our Audiences: | Notes Along The Way

Comments are closed.