An End to Lollypop Love and the Launch of ‘Live from the Heart’ postings!

Just a quick note to those of you who wrote to me and said that you would like me to stop blogging:
I make no apology. I know that you aren’t into our teachings at all, but something we do talk about a lot (and I believe it’s a fairly highly valued feature of most people’s lives) is free will. Apparently some of you don’t recognise how this applies here, so I’ll try to break it down for you. Basically, you have and I have, this free will, which means – I am free to write what I want and you don’t actually have to read what is written here. I’m not spamming you with it; I’m not forcing it on you in any way.
Perhaps some of you are a little lost for other things to look at on the internet so maybe I can help you out.  I’ve posted some links that may be fun (don’t worry they don’t mention God, or the Divine Love Path… although I guess some of you just want to find more stuff about us so that you can rubbish us some more… and that, according to the free will concept, is totally up to you.. I must admit it seems like a bizarre kind of sport or masochistic pass time to find something you hate, but that doesn’t actually invade on your life in any way, and to then spend your days immersed in it, attacking the thing or person.. when you could just go do something else..?? logic anyone??  )
Hope you all can appreciate I’m feeling a bit light-hearted about this issue today – and my comments are made in such a spirit!
FB & Me
My short disclaimer to precede this post is that what I am about to share is simply my feelings about my injured relationship with the social networking phenomena called Facebook, often affectionately referred to as FB. It is not meant to be a damning commentary on its existence or a blanket generalization about how everyone uses it!
A few weeks ago I deleted my Facebook  account. Facebook seemed very concerned to let me know that I could simply deactivate my account and not delete it – and was I sure I wanted to delete my account? I gladly checked the little box ‘yes’.
When Facebook fever first seemingly struck the world I was living in Scotland and I remember saying ‘My gosh, I couldn’t have a page devoted to my ‘face’!’ But one thing led to another. I sold it to myself as a way to stay in touch with the faces that I had known in far-flung places and to those that I was once near to.
As time went by I began to love seeing everyone’s photos and days so easily. In general I’m so interested in people – I love hearing what makes them tick, what they care about and how they change – and Facebook helped me know more of those things (or so I thought). I liked seeing infants grow into toddlers, and I could wallow in nostalgia as I clicked through shots of old lives and escapades.
Since then however lots of things have changed.
I’ve learned a lot about nostalgia[1]. I’ve moved the landscape of my life to a remarkably different vista. I’m changing and what I want is changing.
Lately I began to think about fairly floss[2] when I visited Facebook. Each visit was full of lightness and colour and news that used to give me a little sugary rush like I was ‘in touch’ with others and their lives. But there was a crash following the sweet high. There was nothing in my belly, or heart, only my head was buzzing with text and image. Instead of feeling like I was adding to my life by visiting my account, I felt was loosing life, loosing energy, loosing time.
I was ‘keeping up’ with the lives of people I cared about but it sure didn’t feel like being in a real relationship with them anymore. I began to ask questions like: I know the details about the lives of people I haven’t spoken to in over a decade, but does that mean I know them? Why do I spend ten minutes looking at someone’s wedding photos without communicating with them? More than that, why did I spend ten minutes on this and not on responding to an email or not digging in my garden?
Having all these Facebook friends was a lazy way for me to be a voyeur. I could visit photos or status, I could see what my ‘friends’ had done on the weekend, just through the click of a button but where was my heart connection to these people? Did we still even want to know each other?
And if I really did love these people, why wasn’t I calling them or emailing or visiting? It began to feel very fake and superficial.
How much of me wanting to ‘know’ as these people and see their lives on a screen headed with blue was actually me wanting to avoid my own loneliness?

When we eat a lot of refined sugar, our systems become exhausted because sugar actually depletes the energy of our system. In that process our bodies often crave more and more sugar. We crave the sweetness with increasing veracity to help us avoid the crash that inevitably comes to signal the effect we have just created in our body. We are actually starving for real nourishment. Our body is trying to tell us something but if we aren’t careful we end up feeding it with more and more junk and avoiding our own sustenance[3].
My relationship with Facebook came to resemble this effect. It was the way for me to avoid my emptiness and longing for real relationship.
I believe that we live in a world so depleted by a lack of true connection with each other, that hitting the ‘refresh’ button can feel like asking for another ‘hit’ of sugar to avoid the starvation signal our soul is emitting. At least that’s what it began to feel like for me.
I look around me and I see that much of society seems embroiled in a fast paced life where we are all so crazed to avoid the ‘crash’. It’s gotten so bad that we now require a constant news feed, like super sweet candy, a string of endless updates on what Danni is eating for breakfast, what Mike is wearing and where Anna is at, all so that we can feel like we are in touch, involved and yes even that we are loveable. Somewhere in the generation of cell phones and tabloid media and oh so much immediate gratification we have lost what we are truly here for – that is, to connect to true ourselves, to live from our hearts, to dream big, to create, (and to use the gifts of technology and progress to serve us in these pursuits).
On Facebook it’s easy to put our ‘best face’ forward. It’s easy to look great and have it all together. But my life often looks messy. I realised that my heart felt tired from my attempts to look all witty and wise. I was still trying to be hip and cool in a status update. This wasn’t helping me to be true, to be real, or to connect to my heartfelt dreams.

The internet has long been a place where I ‘numb’ out and avoid the hunger pains in my everyday life.  I’ve had the opportunity to spend quite a lot of time alone lately, in a place without phone or internet connection. This has helped me tune into my soul starving for true connection.
I am famished for connection with God and my soulmate. But often the loss of these things as I remember them, in their pure state, feels too painful to face. So I’d surf the net or Facebook as a way to avoid the emptiness. It was all a poor substitute for the kind of nourishing, sustaining connection I truly desire for my life.
I want to know God and my mate. I want my feet grounded in the earth, I want to feel the salt of sweat and tears on my skin and taste them in my mouth. I want to be present in this body and feel my own heart. I want to feel the spirit and soul of the people in my life. Most often I want to look into your eyes when I share with you.
In my alone time much is happening. I feel there is an integration occurring, of all that has happened in my past three years, and I am opening up to what is to come. I am becoming more and more sensitive to where my life feels empty and what my soul truly desires. The beauty of having more tolerance and openness to my empty feelings, my aches and lows, is that I want less and less to fill them up with false connections and fairy floss. Instead of ‘lollypop love’ I want to love in a way that is grounded in a joy, which comes from embracing my passions here and now. I want a love that lives when I look others straight in the eye, being and accepting exactly who I am in that moment and encouraging them to do the same.
So in tribute to grounded joy and nourishing our souls I plan to start weekly ‘Live from the Heart’ posts – sharing things I see that inspire me to live from the heart, to dream big and be creative. There are so many people who do this bravely out there in the world, but there are also those who do it in the quiet of their own lives. I want to share some of that good stuff here!
To start us off (in a small way):
This post from Emily which reminds me that, no matter what your day job – when you live from your heart you make art.
This song that I often sing goofily to my man…

And this note written by Sienna, aged 6. Sienna’s mum came home from work one night to find it on her bed.

[1] Nostalgia no longer feels comforting or comfortable to me. When I really sat with my nostalgia I learned a lot about what it meant. Now my nostalgia says to me ‘I want to go back to a time that I thought was better or when I felt better or safer’. My next questions then involve ‘Why did I feel they were better?’ ‘What don’t I like about myself or what’s happening in my life now?’
If I live in nostalgia, I live in a place where I’m not loving or living fully in my present. When I go deep into what my nostalgia is about and resolve these things then I can look back easily and with fondness but I no longer have this burning sort of longing for times better or brighter. In the past nostalgia has helped me to avoid unresolved grief, conflict not dealt with in my present and fear of embracing my life in the present.
[2] We called it Fairy Floss when I was a kid so I’m keeping with my cultural idiom in the text! But for those overseas its also known as cotton candy or candy floss.
[3] I make no claims as a nutritionist here only as a reforming sugar addict… so I hope I’m ‘nutritionally correct’! …maybe one of you raw foodies reading can help me out on accuracy??

17 thoughts on “An End to Lollypop Love and the Launch of ‘Live from the Heart’ postings!

  1. Anonymous

    Hi Mary!Thank you for posting this great blog. As a facebook 'crack' addict, I've definitely had times where I felt that sitting behind a computer screen was a waste of time. I feel it totally reflects my own feelings of wanting to be known!Unfortunately I only met you and AJ briefly, but it was very nice to get to know you a little bit better, as opposed to only having youtube vids/audios as a way to discover who you are.I hope one day in the future, as things change constantly, especially through dedication on this path, I could have a soul-to-soul chat, in person again someday.Your honesty and zest for God and truth inspires others to open the sealed valve and let that good stuff drip through. Well, it does for me, at least.It is a blessing, and I'm grateful.Warmest Regards,Marina

  2. Perry

    Here you go Mary and people .. One of the worlds leading raw food educators on this youtube clip … When we have God … Life naturally becomes sweet x!

  3. Mary

    Thanks Perry, I thought I could count on you to give us the facts about sugar!!!Hey Marina, loads of love to you..Thanks Amanda – yes I do know it – AJ plays it on the guitar..M x

  4. Anonymous

    dear Mary, I think you are awesome! 🙂 lots of love, Teresa <3my internet has been doing tricky things for the past week or so, so I got to see all three of your last posts in one hit! ODing on Mary, lol…. conscious of addiction, however, I read it somewhere… a balm on my soul…. I feel reading or hearing anything from you and Jesus is a balm on my soul. Thank you.with love,Teresaone day I will find out why this blogger won't let me post using my google account anymore… I don't like being anon y mous…

  5. Amanda

    After reading your post …more slowly this time (I'm so impatient)I am asking myself "What makes for a truly satisfying life?" and feeling how much I want to escape from the life I'm in….. Mary I hope you don't mind me sharing 2 quotes from a blog of a lady who lives near me and who has been "living gratefully for a year"…"Can you see the holiness in those things that you take for granted – A paved road or a washing machine..? Rabbi Harold Kushner"The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way." William BlakeI find it amazing how beautiful some collections of words become when they reveal a truth about life?I can also see how envious of you I am as you seem to have time to contemplate and write and discover yourself and God.

  6. Lance B.

    Mary, if AJ did not claim to be the Jesus of the past but just someone who was a good person then I could accept him but to make the DIVINE claim goes to the root of what I believe.I call myself a Christian in the true sense – not because I go to church but because of a TRUE internal belief in the REAL JESUS – the Christ or Messiah of prophecy.I speak to you person to person and I cannot accept AJ as the Jesus in whom I believe.I offer no mean words merely my honest feelings in the hope that you will publish this.Lance. (my real Name)

  7. Zapatista44

    Thanx for clarifying Mary … I felt abandoned by your choice to leave & didn't like it one bit … hmm … you're a woman … abandonment .. could there be a pattern emerging here ?

  8. Amanda

    Dear lanceThis probably against all blog etiquette so apologies to Mary and anyone else who is offended. Lance I would call myself a Christian also but with a different attitude to you. I am passionate to know the truth about God and his universe. When I first heard about Aj and Mary through a newspaper article I did not immediately dismiss them or their claims. I watched their presentations which are on youtube, starting reading the padgett messages whilst still attending church and continuing to hear truth there. I appreciated much of what has been said in Aj's and Mary's presentations and see a lot there which is truthful for me. It has also helped me to see how much sadness, fear and rage I am carrying around in my soul which affects how I treat myself, my brothers and sisters and ultimately my true father. Everything I believe is ultimately projected onto the greatest reality there is, the divine parent. I love God, myself and my brothers and sisters enough to love truth wherever I find it.I know that I have written this because I am sad that Christians can be so closed minded to anything not in the bible . It does really grieve me that it is worshipped as if it were God. And I may be totally wrong about God and these people AJ and Mary but that will come when it comes

  9. Anonymous

    I think AJ & Mary need to look at their entire situation and recognise the universal law of oneness. Just because you have experienced the memories of Jesus & Mary, it does not mean you are their reincarnation. Your soul path will see you share your truths however the greater learning is for you as individuals as you come to recognise your part as a means of facilitating the work of creation, and not the personification of the Son of God.

  10. Kelly

    Mary, I found your blog through A Way of Life journal, and I want you to know how much I loved this post. I deactivated my FB account almost a year ago for the very reasons you gave–instead of feeling nourished by it, I felt depleted. I've been trying to live, for the most part, an 'acoustic' life, and while I struggle with loneliness at times, I experience far more satisfaction from my fewer hands-on friendships than I ever did from the many virtual ones I used to cling to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I really, really appreciated reading them. Love to you.

  11. Anonymous

    Mary, I have heard a lot about you in the media, with reports suggesting you are a cult. I worry that by you as the leader suggesting that FB is of no value, it might cut some of your followers off from contact with Non Gods way of Life followers. This would add to the claims that your organisation is a cult. Just thought I would point this out becuase you mention that you are not trying to influence anyoneSecondly, I was considering a donation to your organisation. I wanted to send a cheque but I notice that I am to make the cheque straight out to AJ. IS it OK if I make it out to GOds way of Love, instead. It makes me nervous, as a bookkeeper, to make it out to a person. THe accounts should be seperate, otherwise it will create a bit of a prob for your bookkeeper.

  12. Lelo

    Wow I feel the exact same way about my FB account this world is becoming so impersonal that thiers hardly any real physical contact I think it pritty much started in the 70's-80's with video games when i was coming up to the present where today to find work its all apps on the computers ,people dont speak face to face without texting or live video feeds , its no wonder thiers so much violence , lack of respect especially amongst the youth & depression in the the world today , technology though it can be a good thing can at its greater measure destroy human intamacy , I can't stand text zombies !!!! yea it may be wrong to say but look at them pure veggies! though I still retain my FB I do my best to visit at a minimum but even thats to much at times!

  13. Alex

    As a mediumistic soul who still battles spirit influence, i have found sugar to be pure evil, equal to drugs and alcohol. It agitates the nervous system, the base desires and opens me to negative spirit influence and unloving acts.It disconnect me from myself completely. Of course, the cause needs to be addressed as to why i desire sugar. I am sugar free at present…hehe… and there is a general feeling of evenness and calm.Perhaps this is not such a dramatic experience for everyone, but for me, looking at a pack of Tim Tams at the supermarket makes me think: Do i want to be completely out of control for the next two days ?? We are fooled by sugar because in the eyes of society it is seen as harmless. It is openly sold everywhere and marketed widely for kids. Maybe if we had to aquire it from some shady guy in a car park at night, we would think twice about it….Facebook for me is the slightly lesser evil, but something i can do without all the same. Love the posts Mary, Thank you ! Alex

  14. Mary

    Hi Anonymous,I'm confident that I am speaking from my own experience here of FB. I hope that FB has not become our only was that we may interact with people in the world (smile). In the post I was actually feeling that I would like to have more contact with people 'face to face' rather than via the internet medium. This means more contact with the world and people in it (regardless of their belief system) – not less.Also, its fine to make cheques out to 'Divine Truth' or to 'Gods Way of Love'. We are very thorough with our accounting and declare our private donations as personal income, and any donations to Divine Truth or Gods Way of Love are also declared and correctly accounted for. As for claims that we are a cult – well the media likes to dramatise these things. AJ and I are very clear that we do not wish to start a cult or a new religion. We have very little day to day contact with people who are interested in what we teach. We believe that each person has their own will to use as they desire, and we do not exclude or include people in our lives due to what they believe. Hope this clears a few things up. Best wishes,Mary

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