Desire, Dreaming & the Destination {Operation ‘Get Present’}

Before I start sharing some of the things that have helped me to become more present, I figured it was important to define somewhat what I actually mean by the term ‘being present’.

Turns out defining what it is to be present – in words – is much harder than writing tips about it. Hence the time lag in my beginning this series.

My procrastination about ‘the definition post’ has caused me to pause and ponder quite a bit about the metaphor inherent in this situation (which of course hasn’t helped the time lag issue).

Here’s what I’ve noticed.

The Tip Phenomenon

It’s easy to love “tips”. In fact tips seem to be quite the fashion these days. I googled tips and found tip lists ranging from Al-Qaeda’s 22 tips for dodging drone attacks to very particular travel tips. It seems you can find tips relevant to almost any pursuit life may offer you. There are time management tips, handy household tips, school survival tips, cooking tips, healthy living tips and then there are the authors that go for broke with all encompassing lists to change your  entire life. It’s an epidemic. Tips are the new black.

So why are we all so obsessed with tips?

I believe it’s because “tips” and handy checklists give us little strategies to help us feel like we’re getting it together and doing something neat, or useful, or beneficial. For most of us, most of the time, life feels overwhelming, and instead surrendering to all that, we want a road map the hell outa there.

Its easy to kid ourselves that tips will be the fast track to helping us live in the dreamy mantra that we’re improving ourselves and our situation in some way and because of that – its all gonna be A-OK.

This is why I’ve had to pause and consider that the tips ‘scene’ can turn out to be tricky territory.

You see, I’m a girl who advocates the beauty and power of surrender and overwhelm. I’m no longer into quick-fixes and nifty strategies that help us avoid rather than embrace. So clearly care needs to be taken as I prepare my discussion of what it means to be present and launch into my own ‘tip-fest’. 🙂

But there’s more to it than that.

My concern is that, in the modern ‘Western’ world, we are so busy trying to get away from ourselves, and our feelings, that we search for a road map to anywhere else but here.

Getting all addicted to tips and strategies, we can fool ourselves into thinking that we’re heading towards a thing, without fully examining what that place will be like, and if it’s somewhere we actually want to go.

Then there’s the issue that without spending enough time thinking about what our heart really desires, and dreaming in specifics about the possibilities in front of us, we just set off without any way of discerning if we are actually getting closer to our desired destination.

If we aren’t careful, this idea of ‘getting present’ can turn into something we logically agree is a ‘good idea’ when we haven’t fully deciding what it means to go there, if we think we’ll like it when we do and without any way of knowing when we might be getting close.

A Journey to ‘Rome’

Imagine for a minute that you grew up under a rock and had never heard of far-off places and distant lands. You just knew the place you were in.

Then suddenly everyone around you started to tell you that you should visit Rome, a distant land in the west. Most of the people you knew had either been there, or were about to go.

Without even considering the merits of Rome, you promptly pack your bags and set off to the west.

In this scenario, knowing as little as you do about travel, Rome and your own personal desires, the problem inherent in your situation would be that:

1. You can’t actually say that you truly want to go to Rome based on a desire you’ve developed as a part of your own personality, interests, curiosity or desire to learn about new things. People have just said it and you’ve acted.

So, you must be doing it for some other reason, like “other people know best” or “I’m stuck for initiative myself so I’ll just rely on everyone else’s life plan” or “everyone else says it’s a good idea and the only way I’ll get loved and approved of is if I go there”.

Desire like that doesn’t get you very far, nor is it very fulfilling along the way. In fact, such duty-bound or fear based endeavours just get tiring, instead of energizing.

Also, driven by such impure desires, when and if you finally did reach Rome, you have no idea if you’ll actually like it, and may end up feeling that the whole trip was a complete waste of time.

It pays to develop a feeling and desire for where you are headed before committing a lot of time and effort to getting there.

If you see benefits to going there, you’ll be more likely to stick with it.

If fact you’re unlikely to get anywhere if you don’t actually want to go there.

If you don’t see any benefit you’ll quickly give up, or go so far and tell yourself that that’s enough or the best you can hope for.

2. Since you don’t have a strongly developed desire for Rome and its unique and exotic sights, tastes and smells, you are likely to set out and get way-laid looking at other things – which may or may not be as good as what Rome herself offers.

In fact you might just get a few villages over, find some interesting characters and ideas there. These people, thoughts and customs may be only slightly different from those you have known all your life, but they might excite you enough to feel that you’ve really branched out, and changed and probably gone far enough.

You could do all this, not understanding that on reaching Rome what would feel like a whole new world would open up, and that even a new language and way of interacting could be possible.

You might settle for ‘this will do’ when ‘out of this world bliss’ was actually on offer.

Your viewpoint of the possibilities for personal change and growth will be vastly limited if you lack imagination and/or lack desire to ask more or learn more.

3. In your travels, you won’t have any idea if you are even in the vicinity of Rome. If you knew something about it, like that people speak Italian there, or if you had heard a story about the Colosseum or tiramisu, then as you entered Italy and found some clues, you might be able to deduce that Rome was not as far off as it was when you first set out on our adventure.

Some knowledge, applied using logic, and self-reflection would help you be aware of your progress.

If we take Rome out of this hypothetical scenario and sub in the destination ‘Present’ or ‘at-one with God’, basically the same lessons and principles apply. The truths that apply to our fictional journey to Rome, apply just about any desired aspect of personal or spiritual growth.

For example, we might have an intellectual concept that a relationship with God is a good thing but if our soul holds the feeling that relating to a parent will actually be a burden and a giving up of our joy and will, then our desire for God won’t be heartfelt or passionate. We’ll give up before the get-go.

Similarly, any steps we take towards Him out of a sense of duty or desire to ‘just be rid of our pain’, or ‘to be a good girl or boy’ won’t get us very far, or last for very long.

Getting present, becoming at-one with God, these things must be thought about in terms of their merits and dreamed of in terms of the possibilities they will offer, if we are to ever embrace the journey to get there.

We’ll also have to come to terms with the fact that it is indeed a journey, not a destination that can be reached in a moment and in order to get there we’ll have to not only want it, but desire to know more about how to go there and to see that we don’t already know everything about it.

A Story about Tris

Tristan once jokingly told someone (much to their total horror) that when his Dad first introduced us, he planned to just lead with calling me ‘Mum’.

Thankfully, Tris is one of the most mature people I know and since he’s very focused on this Heavenly Mother, he’s not shopping for more earthly ones, so he’s always just been completely himself with me. These days, I’d regard Tris as a very good friend of mine.

One of the things I love about him is that he often starts sentences with phrases like:

“When I’m at one with God I can feel I’ll do..(insert awesome action)… or be like.. (insert awesome quality)….”

Or he’s been know to say to me, with a sense of wonder and slight bewilderment:

“Did you know that that person has never thought about what it will be like to be at-one with God?”

Like he’s thinking – how could you want to know God and not consider things like that?

Tristan has dreams that involve bringing God’s Laws into being for everyone on the Earth, and creating places for children here in the physical world, with substance and potentials that have only ever been seen in the spiritual one.

Tris gets that, in order to get to where you want to go, you need to see it as a great destination.

He dreams about what may be possible based on what he has already experienced of God.

He continually fosters and grows his desire to be at-one with his Father.  He loves to think about it, he imagines what his life will be like when he gets there. Its not and ‘if’ type of scenario, it’s a ‘when’.

That’s faith, desire and imagination working together in a beautiful synergy.

I feel very blessed to know not one, but two men, who constantly model to me such a beautiful approach to life. They have not only dreamt of ‘Rome’, but they set out each day with a strong knowledge that its possible to get there, and excitement at the joy, hope and wonder that such a destination will bring.*


And That’s Why We Need to Talk About the Destination

So that, my friends, is my long way of telling you that we’ll never get more present if we don’t know what that actually means, and have a feeling that it might just be a good idea.

Which is why we need to have at least one post in this series that deals with defining what I mean to ‘get present’.

But this isn’t it. 🙂

Stay tuned – its still coming.


* Tris and Jesus also carry with them the humility to know that even their current perceptions of what is possible or probable may need to be revised. Just like the person in Rome, who tastes pasta or pizza for the first time, has to concede that our Australian version falls quite short of the flavour and flare that Italians give to these foods.
These men dream in the positive, having faith in a God that provides and multiplies gifts. They live in a world where knowledge, and dreaming, and change, aren’t just possible, but certain under God’s Laws. They understand that even what they dream of at best, will likely be superseded by something more wonderful sometime in the future. 


11 thoughts on “Desire, Dreaming & the Destination {Operation ‘Get Present’}

  1. suzanne719

    Mary I just love this….it is so true….esp. for me….
    I have been doing an Edit 2 on a talk that you and Jesus gave in Melbourne at the end of 2011, and amazingly enough, lol, you tell a story about friends who were trying to sell their house and no one even looking, and I’m pretty sure that was us.
    A month later almost to the day people negotiated a sale and we sold, but as you know I used to lament about the situation and worry endlessly about why we were stuck. Recent unfolding has shown me that my Achilles heel was the strong feeling that my mother in particular, but both my parents were very disappointed about us moving, and the relationship we had with them simply died on the vine when we finally moved, very telling. It was my fear of disappointing them and loosing their approval that was a big cloud over my dreams to be where we are now.
    I felt such a resonance between what you are sharing here and the talk that I have pasted an excerpt of here. It comes with a warning: Being present must involve letting go of our parent’s restricting influence over us.
    If anyone wants to revisit this entire talk it is here:

    20110510 General Discussion – Q&A From People In Melbourne P1
    (AJ:) Can you see how many of your definitions are related to mummy? Isn’t it terrible? Let’s put the microphone away, it’s terrible. It’s okay to feel that. The truth is that the majority of us still have our parents all over us emotionally.
    (Mary:) Like.
    (AJ:) All over us.
    (Mary:) And we’re not and this is their whole thing, on this path. Like, along with my addictions I went, “Okay, I’m going to see where my parents are in my life”. My parents are how I wash up, how I iron, what I eat, when I eat, what I think is good, what I think is bad, how you should spend your money, how I shouldn’t spend my money, yep.
    (AJ:) What car’s any good, what house is any good, what push bike’s any good, what trailer is any good.
    (Mary:) What’s a good man, what’s a good woman, what you should do on your holidays, how long you should sleep in, when you should go to bed, what you should watch. Like, that’s, that’s how much of my life. It’s everything.
    (AJ:) Does it make you feel a bit creeped out when you start? How much of your life is actually you? Is actually your desires? It’s funny, I recommended to Mary some time ago and she followed through with this recommendation of making a list of all the major things she felt and believed and then how many, what her family felt and believed about the same subject and her friends felt and believed about the same subject and then after she considered that, what did she actually feel and believe?
    (Mary:) It’s fascinating. What’s my belief about religion? I’ll just write that down of the top of my head. And then I go, “What does my dad feel about religion?” Yep, I know that pretty well, write that down. “What does my mum feel?” Yep, got that. “What does my brother feel?” Right. “What do my friends feel?” “What does society as a whole feel generally in Australia about religion?” Okay, so my first thing that I thought was what I feel, just a conglomeration of everything, mainly my dad, but bits, bits of other things in there as well and then to sit with “Okay, well what, if I, if it wasn’t, if I wasn’t in fear of all those people, if I didn’t want to be cool to society and I wanted to prevent my dad’s attack, what would I actually feel about these things?” And it was amazing.
    I’m actually not that opposed to religion. I’ve been fighting it all my life and I go ‘Well no, like, yep it’s not perfect, but I really love God and I really think it’s something beautiful about people coming together to try and find God.” So I don’t actually hate religion. I don’t want to join one, but I don’t hate it, but I’d been wandering around ‘mad as a hatter’ of religion all my life and it wasn’t anything to do with what I actually felt. It was my fear of attack and not being cool. That’s what it came down to and most like, then I went through, “What’s a good man?” “What’s a good woman?”, “What’s a good wife?”, “What’s a good daughter, politics, Jesus?”
    (AJ:) What’s a good man is anything, other than Jesus. (Loud laughter from the audience)
    (Mary:) According to mum, dad, society, brothers, family. It’s fascinating exercise though. I recommend it to everyone.
    (AJ:) It is a fascinating exercise.
    (Mary:) And it’s not, you maybe you’re not processing causally, but you’re opening your eyes to just how much is there. Yeah.
    (AJ:) Yep. Yeah. Now, shall we happy, be a bit more positive about our imagination for a moment.
    (Mary:) Yes. Igor’s like, I’m shutting it down. I’m throwing away the key.
    (AJ:) Igor, you are an expert at this part of your imagination, as you well know. So, and this is one of the things that guides many of the questions that you make, is because you’re imagining the worst in many cases, or imagining bad things happening, or so forth.
    (AJ:) But also you have this lovely part of your soul which actually does imagine in a loving way as well, which is one reason that drives your passion to serve people in the way that you have been doing for the last 6 months or so, in terms of getting the truth out to the world in the best possible manner.
    And the beauty of imagination in a loving way is that it will always have some basic qualities that are very, very different to the fear based qualities of imagination. So if we look at the qualities of loving imagination, what would you come up with as a quality of loving imagination? Can I start you of?
    (Participant:) Yes.
    (AJ:) Okay. So number one quality I feel is optimism.
    (Mary:) Oh. Now I can’t spell optimism. (Writes on whiteboard)
    (AJ:) Can I just point out that most of us are so used to being pessimistic.
    (Mary:) And cynical.
    (AJ:) And cynical.
    (Mary:) It’s kind of ‘cool’ to be cynical.
    (AJ:) So when I go “Imagine the world,” “Imagine there’s no heaven.” (AJ singing) You know, John Lennon’s Imagination. “Imagine a world living in peace and harmony.”
    (Mary:) Who feels angry when they try and imagine that?
    (AJ:) Yeah. And who feels like, “That’s not going to be possible?
    (Mary:) Yep.
    (AJ:) “I’m pretty disillusioned and there’s no way that that’s going ever be an outcome.”
    (Mary:) “It’s great to try for but never going to happen.”
    (AJ:) Can you see how optimistic imagination is difficult, because the world is just geared to pessimism and so we’re not used to using our imagination in a, in an optimistic way. The second thing I would like to mention about it, you can add to it latter if you want, is desire. Like, imagination that’s loving always activates desire. Always activates desire.
    (Mary:) So what’s an example of this babe.
    (AJ:) So, I’ll give you an example. For a start, if I’m imagining a certain thing. So for example, I’m imagining what my house could look like. Now at the moment it’s just this, well to be frank at the moment our house is…
    (Mary:) It doesn’t have walls at the moment…
    (AJ:) It doesn’t have any walls…
    (Mary:) … or tiles, yep.
    (AJ:) Or tiles on the floor, it’s been completed skun out of the inside; it has no bathroom, or toilet or anything else at the moment. That’s our house. So, there’s my house and I imagine in an optimistic and desirous way, I can just imagine it nice and crisp and clean and tidy and neat. Everything in its place, everything having an orderly space, you know, bright. Before, what, what it was, was you know that, that old style
    (Mary:) Wood paneling.
    (AJ:) Wood paneling, you know.
    (Mary:) So it’s not real wood, it’s just printed on the panels.
    (AJ:) So you walk in there and, and you see brown, brown, brown, brown and brown.
    (Mary:) Tiles are brown.
    (AJ:) Everything’s brown.
    (Mary:) Mucky grout in between, can’t clean it.
    (AJ:) Tiles were lifting up and so, I’m sitting there in this house imagining, like with optimism what it could look like even if it was just the same size house and what it could look like. Now, the instant I start doing that the interesting thing, an interesting thing happens. And that is, I start feeling a desire to create what I’m imagining. Do you see that?
    So, so I start feeling a desire. Now like as many of you may know now, Mary and I, we usually spend every piece of penny that we get on doing all sorts of things. Like travelling around and all of those kinds of things. So we don’t get much money to spend on our house.
    (Mary:) And we’ve had a little bit of an emotion about it, actually.
    (AJ:) And, and so, so what happens is our house gets worse and worse and worse of course in its condition and, but I’m sitting there going “No, no our house could actually look like this and we could turn that into office and we could have it as a guesthouse sort of thing for people to come and visit and so forth and so forth”, and any way we just imagining, and Mary’s and we’re discussing and then now both of us start imagining. So the other thing is imagination in a loving direction is always infectious.
    It, it actually is like a virus in a positive way in the sense that it, it goes along to other people and it affects other people and affects them in a positive and an optimistic direction, not in a negative way. You know, we see the opposite to that in the world today, don’t we. Like in the world today what we see instead, is the infection is along a fear based course.
    So you know, how do we have a run on the stock market? By one person in the newspaper saying “Tomorrow’s going to be a bad day on the stock market”, and if that one person happens to be the US Fed Reserve General, the General Director of the US Federal Reserve, now we’ve got a run for sure the next day.
    One person, all he’s got to do is a negative thing, fear based thing and bang everybody follows that. But in a loving way it generates optimistic desire and it’s infectious to others. Like its starts to encourage and involve others in the passion and desires.
    (Mary:) So can you say it’s expansive, it’s a growing thing.
    (AJ:) In the end it doesn’t just include you. It finishes up including others in it’s, in its vision if you like. So, so a loving imagination is focused towards not only just helping yourself, but also assisting and helping all of those around you. So in other words, it’s inclusive and sharing. Does that make sense.
    That’s what a loving imagination does. So if I use my imagination in a loving way, in the case of the house, I’m thinking, “Yeah, you know, what we’d like is a nice, has all these functional things, but it also what we know we going to need in some point in the future is some kind of office where people can come and do work on different things about, you know the Divine Truth, you know.
    Where they can just come there and instead of having and worry about whether Mary and AJ are in there own emotions doing something, we could have it where it’s empty and people can just come there and do their work and go away. We don’t even have to be there, right.
    So the desire starts increasing further along that direction. Now as these desires increase and we’ve been talking about these desires for I don’t know, how long, how long have we been talking about them?
    (Mary:) Six, eight months.
    (AJ:) May be eight months or something like that. About two months ago, maybe three?
    (Mary:) Three.
    (AJ:) Three months ago, a friend of ours came and offered us the funds to do that work, alright. With no strings attached. So a friend of ours has given us the funds that we could just go ahead and right as we speak, while we’re down here our actual home up there is getting gutted and all of those things that we imagined are now happening. That make sense?
    And that’s how imagination in an optimistic way will work. It’ll just, you just carry it out, carry it out. Now we didn’t know where we were going to get the funds to do those kinds of things. All the funds we get we spend on doing all of these other things, you know, all of these things to do with the Divine Truth and websites and printing books and printing DVD’s and doing all that kind of stuff.
    And so we didn’t know, but the person who offered us the funds said, “We want you to use the funds for yourselves.” That was the proviso of receiving them actually. So imagination in loving place also activates desire, activates passions, it’s infectious, it’s optimistic. It actually is inclusive and sharing.
    (Mary:) Can we say it’s inspiring?
    (AJ:) And it inspires. Yep.
    (Mary:) So it’s pretty valuable to have imagination, hey.
    (AJ:) Now can I just point out one other thing about it. If you use your imagination in this direction (loving direction) an interesting thing happens with spirits as well. In that, loving spirits who have very optimistic view point of their life, who are also close to God can now influence your loving imagination into a direction that’s more and more closer or more in harmony with God’s Laws and principles and more in harmony with God’s desires.
    So ironically, as you engage your own imagination and desires these spirits can now come and influence you in a positive direction, in a loving direction that expands the possibility of each one of those passions and desires.
    (Mary:) So you know, like when you’re writing a song or drawing a picture or planning a house and you’re like, you’re in this optimistic desires ‘wow what about the possibilities’, and suddenly this happens to you all the time doesn’t it Igor, you get this download “Hey you could do it this way, or you could show that to people like this”, and very often it’s a spirit whose gone, yeah.
    (AJ:) Who’s utilized that?

    1. Eloisa

      Thanks Suzanne for posting this up with transcription and everything!
      Mary, you and AJ are really inspiring!
      I love you guys!!!

    2. Mary Post author

      Suz, thanks for your comment, glad you liked the post.

      As you may know, I almost never watch our talks once recorded, and rarely have I read anything of the transcripts that many of you so lovingly prepare. Reading the excerpt you have posted here, two things occur to me:
      1. Wow, I’ve said so many things about my life on camera, and then promptly forgotten that I’ve told the world that stuff! Its a good idea to share what I’m going through as I’m going through it.
      2. I need to work on my diction, grammar and sentence structure when public speaking.. in fact sharing ideas in complete sentences would be a good start 🙂

      Thanks for sharing the excerpt for my benefit !
      love you guys and so glad you are living another part of your dream in your new place now
      M xoxo

  2. Eloisa

    As a tip collector (not the whole lot of rubbish kind, but hee hee actually much of it has been a whole lot of rubbish, smile) I value this reflection rather highly. I think I am indeed someone who likes ‘collecting’ and following others adventurers without doing the research myself.

    Funny (Law of Attraction wise) how you write this as this last week I have had to sit myself down and ask some very frank questions to which my REAL answers have been quite revealing (read: not liking the answers very much or life changing in seeing how far removed and flouncy I am from what I have been convincing myself is true) to those answers I wanted to give myself.

    One question I have found for myself following along from some others you suggested re the great experiment is:

    What are my beliefs about love? (What do I think love is? what do I see as loving?)
    What do I think God’s love is/feels like etc? (even intellectually imagining?)

    I then did a comparison chart with my beliefs and what I feel love to be (including actions and experiences) and then contrasted it with what I at least intellectually have heard about God’s Love and God (and/or experienced). Wow was that an eye opener.

    So why I mention that here, is that it is a little like what you are saying about getting present. You need to know what that actually means before you can actually do it or really want it (as you so beautifully said above). So I realised I have been wanting ‘love’ but really my idea of love is so screwed up (and looks more like addictions on paper) that of course it has been hard to receive it ‘cos I have been expecting something totally different and when its been gifted it I feel I have mostly rejected it. Plus God’s getting a barrage from me that her Love ain’t Love ‘cos it doesn’t fit my schema (no wonder I have been having some troubles receiving any, smile). Some news for me on that front, God’s got it perfect and I am in some dire need of humility and following his direction if I am going to grow.

    Anyway, thanks and look forward to the definition, I think I will go and see if I can feel my own definition. I’ve been basing it on how the kids behave or how much of my hair gets cut off without realising, rather than what I actually feel – inside…

    Take it from me, auto piolet and the ‘arm chair travellers Divine Love Path’ (watching others change, and loving their stories, talking about how great it is and then going home for a piece of chocolate cake) are not such great methods for personal growth. We so have to find this out for ourselves as you say so ‘cool-ly’* here! (You know Mary pretty much all you have to say is really cool).

    From someone who is taking some steps off the couch and beginning some research for herself, smile
    E xoxo

    P.S. thanks for the story about Tristan, it was really cool and highlighted I have no idea what I’m aiming for. It brings to mind ‘shoot for the moon and at least you’ll land somewhere amongst the stars’ but I reckon if your aiming for the moon it would be good to end up there.

    *probably not an actual word

    1. Mary Post author

      “Take it from me, auto pilot and the ‘arm chair travellers Divine Love Path’ (watching others change, and loving their stories, talking about how great it is and then going home for a piece of chocolate cake) are not such great methods for personal growth.”

      Elo, you crack me up! Not to mention that what you said is totally true.

  3. telloutmysoul

    For example, we might have an intellectual concept that a relationship with God is a good thing but if our soul holds the feeling that relating to a parent will actually be a burden and a giving up of our joy and will, then our desire for God won’t be heartfelt or passionate. We’ll give up before the get-go.

    Similarly, any steps we take towards Him out of a sense of duty or desire to ‘just be rid of our pain’, or ‘to be a good girl or boy’ won’t get us very far, or last for very long.

    Mary I feel you’ve just described me perfectly with those words and it feels a bit devastating ( in a good way) to not know myself. No wonder I had resistance to praying for Divine Love. I could feel it better when I started to pray “my father” but the fact that I didn’t want to pray “my mother” at all was a big clue that I missed.

    It feels a bit like a tsunami of grief to see my life lived from a place of duty and obligation and very little desire.

    A lot to ponder on.


  4. Betsy

    Thank you Mary, perfect timing. I saw this post in my inbox earlier today and thought “I’ll read it later, I feel a bit overwhelmed right now.” Besides, I was absorbed in finishing an older video of AJ’s teaching called Spirit Relationships – Possession & Obsession (1&2)..(which I ADORED). At the end, he reminded the audience that all you have to ever really remember are the three basics 1. Genuinely long for Divine Truth 2.Genuinely long for Divine Love 3. Be Humble. He says “just follow these three and you’ll get there.

    An emphatic voice popped into my head that said, “I DON’T WANT TO GET THERE.” Uh oh. I didn’t know THAT was in there. So I thought of this blog post, with the word “destination” in the title and KNEW I had to read it. Sure enough, it was exactly the medicine I needed. I love that you say you are “a girl who advocates the beauty and power of surrender and overwhelm.” Thank you for that.

    Now I am on track with diving into that voice that “doesn’t want to get there”….asking about it, wondering, feeling the possibilities of what “there” might be…maybe it is not the place of void and annihilation (or whatever else I have assumed). Maybe it is a place of FULLNESS rather than emptiness.

    I am in the process of recovering from a path that seemed to advocate the “emptiness” and
    “no self. This no longer appeals to me. This is why I am SO UTTERLY GRATEFUL for your beautiful teachings right now….they are such a better fit for me. These days I keep asking “how can I say thank you enough? I’ve been so thirsty for this for so long…I’m just starting to drink it in.

    Well, I see I’ve written a bit of a novel here but I guess I just need to trust that…

    Thank you again and Love,

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