Recently I had the privilege to speak with an old friend of ours in the spirit world.
Jesus and I were discussing what we remembered of Paul and his life on earth and Jesus suggested I speak to Paul directly. Since, at the time, we had no capacity to record the mediumship session, I channeled directly on paper.
While I am usually shy to share messages that refer to our first century life or identities, I thought others may benefit from Paul’s message. I especially enjoyed how he expressed the impact receiving God’s Love has upon our gender injuries and his description of how first century healings took place.
My questions to Paul are in italics below and his responses in regular text.
Questions for Paul – 13th August, 2018
What was it like when Jesus appeared to you? (reference to Paul’s conversion)
I heard his voice in my head, I had a ‘knowing’ of who he was without him saying who he was, I simply knew. I didn’t see his physical form but it was as if I had looked directly into the sun – if the sun was much closer and filled my entire field of vision.
I felt his great love for me and, in that moment, I knew that God Loved in the same way.
I understood suddenly that all of my endeavours to gain status and respect in my community were in vain. I was walking a path of vanity and arrogance, eager for approval from an absent father. When Jesus appeared to me I immediately understood that this endeavour was shallow and would never have me receive the kind of love I knew in that moment.
After that moment, while I later continued on that same road to Damascus, I was following a new path, filled with a joy and faith that never left me for all of my remaining days on earth.
My eyes were merely burned and soon healed. I was grateful for my temporary blindness, it was a temporary symbol of my permanently changed focus from the external, physical world of man, to the internal and sacred journey of the soul.
I was fortunate to have had such a profound and life altering experience. A blessing surely.
It was a blessing which I endeavoured to pass forward to others. I saw my experience on the road, which opened my heart to God, as a gift that I wanted others to also receive. I wanted to offer my life as a demonstration of that same Love that I received and provide education as to how to receive it.
What errors would you correct?
Of course there is a great amount of history missing from the accounts of the Bible due to the almost global removal of references to women, women’s teaching and healing, and generally the difference in relationships that existed between men and women amongst early Christians.
While you yet still resist these memories, the relationship between you and Jesus did have an impact upon how The Way was understood by those around you. While you could not eradicate all of the cultural and societal injuries surrounding gender, it was widely accepted by most of us that women could and were equally capable when it came to healing, teaching and mediumship (three key ways that The Way was taught and demonstrated to others).
Much of our healing involved; the removal of spirit attachments, the channeling of loving energy from guides and God, the establishment of faith in the person who was ill through the gifting of love without prejudice (most who were ill were excluded and judged by society), and even through receiving guidance from spirits about the workings of the human body and the physical disease process. Luke was indeed an excellent physician because he had genuine desires and abilities in each of these areas.
Without understanding what we were doing, we did have some of what would be termed, “medical knowledge”. Though observing the earth today, it was rudimentary in the physical sense. However, so called modern medicine on earth could now advance in an extremely rapid way if it were to become open to the knowledge of spirits, the workings of the soul, and the power of God’s Love to heal all things.
But I digress,
Of course, I did not ever say those things attributed to me about the role of women and their dis allowance from teaching. While I admit that my relationship with the female gender was not fully healed at the time of my passing (and so I know that I still sinned greatly in my viewpoint and treatment of women while on earth) one cannot have received the Love of God and experienced the blessing of a long relationship with God and also maintain that women are of lesser value than men. When one has been Loved, one understands that love does not have prejudice, nor favour one gender or social class over another. Jesus was our greatest living example of this but God’s Love, when received, imparts this Truth to us all. Many of my other recorded statements reflect this knowledge.
I know that you also have questions about my associations on the earth.
It is true that I travelled a lot. For most of my life on earth in fact. And many younger than myself travelled with me at various times. While I did not know my children well, for they disavowed me after my famous “conversion”, I became like a father and grandfather to many of those younger men who travelled with me over the years.
It was most often men who travelled – it being safer and more accepted. Sometimes wives accompanied us but as I said, I was not perfected in my love for the gender and so I was not as inclusive as I may have been. The rejection from my first wife, whom I had married for love, was a wound that took time to heal.*
In reality, my heart was taken up with the zeal of sharing the news of Jesus and God with whomever would listen. I ‘left behind’ my grief about my wife, filled with a sense of purpose that I believed that God had given me. So you see that, even though I was filled with faith and knowledge of the Love of God, I was in many ways a foolish young man with many lessons still to learn.
I believe that Jesus appeared to me, that God allowed such an act, because my soul was ripe for change but also that I was already a man of action, who felt driven by principle. (It was only that my principles were flawed before I met him). So they both knew that I would never cease sharing of my experience and would remain driven that others should know the Love of God. For this, there were many blessings I received at my passing but there were still lessons to learn and opportunities that God had placed in my way on earth that I had overlooked.
By the time of my death I had found Sinai, a Christian woman of a similar age to myself, who I lived with and loved as though my wife. We were happy then but this was nothing of the happiness we now share. Having passed and commencing the healing of our injuries with men and women, we discovered ourselves to be soulmates and the bliss of this relationship is unlike anything apart from the Love of God.
We are not yet unified but grow with each other constantly.
But back to my associates,
Yes, Timothy was often with me. A smart and brave companion. Always noting things down, he understood the importance of what was being taught. Having known Jesus, he was as passionate as I that others should hear of his (Jesus’) work and teaching.
Luke was among us too on many occasions. Serious, studious and full of faith. He spoke of you and we listened well. I admit, to me, you were an almost mystical figure. We never met on earth but I regarded you as one who must be truly sacred to have known the love of Jesus and to carry on in his name.
Of course, now I know that you were a regular woman who simply shared our faith and passion. But such were the times and all of us pressed Luke for word of you whenever we met.
There were many others with me of course. Some came and went, and others were with me more constantly. Many friends and colleagues who did their part to support me, or teach with me, or learn from me. It truly was a great existence. To dedicate one’s life as a testament to God – wonderful!
Regarding my death,
Yes, this was in Rome where I lived for the final 5 years of my life after travelling became too much. Of course I didn’t count the years but I died in what I now know to be 70AD. I was quite old by standards of the day.
Yes, at certain times I was imprisoned but I had a relatively good relationship with Roman governance. Then, as now, religion was mainly politics and since I did not play political games I was not viewed with much fear.
I wrote some letters, yes. Remnants of which remain intact in your Bible. Others like Luke and Timothy wrote for me as well and some of their work appears in my name also.
I am not unhappy in general with the Bible rendition of my life. It holds some Truth and I believe it holds the power to open the willing heart to God and this was always my intention and desire.
The problem occurs when when men and women cling to words instead of trusting the wisdom of their heartfelt experience of God. It is only ever fear that causes a person to return to words, seeking a sense of security in what can be measured, desiring dictates in order to quell a rising tide of fear.
As you know, God’s Way is to continue on, allowing fear and uncertainty (which is also fear) to overwhelm us, so that we may overcome it forever more.
Many times in my life on earth I placed my trust in God. As I allowed my fear to rise up, I kept rudder and mast aligned to God, continuing on while the dread and uncertainty were experienced and passed from me; like a tempest weathered on the steady route Home.
Those who cling only to words allow themselves to take their hand from the rudder directing them toward God, they lose direction. At best, they end up in the doldrums where nothing happens; at worst they steer off course and end up in terrible torment, taking years, even centuries to recover.
And lastly, I will speak to you of who you are.
Your brain cannot yet conceptualise how all this may have occurred, how we may have lived on earth in a time long passed and again you sit on earth speaking with me now. But your heart does, I feel it as we speak.
There is much expansion of your emotional capacities required for you to harmoniously live with this truth. Instead of berating yourself for the situation, focus on the expansion of your emotional and spiritual capacities. Experiment as you are now, with your passions for teaching, healing and mediumship – the three methods we always used to share The Way.
You are wise, you are beautiful. Only allow it. I know you now as I never knew you when I lived on earth and your life may still be as a testament to God.
I affirm who you are. I say you are the Magdalene.
Your brother, your friend,