We have been traveling a little lately and receiving emails. I know that many on the Divine Love Path are feeling a bit lost. AJ hasn’t given a talk for some months and the addiction to his energy and direction is beginning to be challenged in many.
I see some people floundering to know what the rules are for living this Path, seeking to understand it from their intellect. I see many repeating AJ’s words and applying them to situations in which they were not originally applied. People are wanting to ‘do as he does’ without firstly understanding emotionally what and how he does things. This can be a very dangerous practice. The Divine Love Path is not a code of conduct and we cannot grow in love by following a doctrine.
Love must lead the revolution in our hearts and lives; otherwise we have not truly changed. We can develop a list of rules, a code of conduct, formulas that state ‘in situation a, the loving response is b’ but this would merely take us down a path that many religious movements have strayed. It could create a guideline for living and ‘loving’ which requires nothing of our hearts. The Truth is that love dictates that we respond to each unique situation in a way that takes responsibility for our part in its creation, that is truthful, has compassion and desires the most loving and empowered outcome for everyone involved. There is no formula that can match every situation.
We must be humble in our quest to grow towards God and allow our sincere longings to teach us the qualities of what love would do in every moment.
It is true that many of us, me included, have faced the awful truth that we do not really know love. We were taught a mixture of fear, addiction, and expectation in our childhoods and left to deduct that this must be love, for those who taught us these things were supposed to love us. Some of us were told that we were loved and that this was love, others of us were never told we were loved but we clung to the concept in order for our tiny egos to survive.
This damage to how we understand love is now done. All that is left is to take responsibility for these injured beginnings, to grieve the lack of knowledge of love and begin to long to know and understand it again. But because this task feels so great, because we feel so at sea and really because we want to be loved and approved of (we doubt an unloving person could be loved) we want a quick remedy, a ‘fast track’ to ‘acting loving’.
This does not exist.
We can change our behaviour to be smiles and hugs but unless we change the darkened interior, the one that desperately seeks power, control and approval in order to avoid the opposing emotions that exist deep within, our words and actions will inevitably, sometimes subtly, revert to this desperate seeking. Cracks will appear. Our injured selves will seek reassurance even if it is now from behind a ‘nice-looking’ façade. We will not have become more loving.
Our hearts must lead us. And for our hearts’ to lead we must be willing to firstly own what is really in our heart. We must face the anger, resentment, the sense of entitlement, the desire to be the best, the pride, the powerlessness, the terror, the grief and fear. Until we own our true soul damage, until we desire to heal, the revolution cannot even begin.
The utter beauty of this process is one that I missed for a long time. I have been full of the fear of others’ judgements if I owned up to what is really inside my heart. I wanted to be the person I believed was lovable – not angry, not different, not sensitive, not vulnerable – I suppressed all of these things because I believed the world would not love them. I still struggle with this process. But letting go slowly, allowing the real me to come forth is the doorway to the moments of sheer wonder. These occur when I let go of what the world will think, when I let myself feel unworthy or angry, when I own up, that my ‘altruistic’ motivation is really selfishness dressed up pretty, when I let myself get messy, or out of control, crazy, ridiculous, exposed. And this it the part when the beauty comes – when I am sitting in my stuff, in my pain, allowing it, and suddenly I feel the love of my Soulmate, or the love of God – right there.
In the moments when I feel most unlovable – I am loved.
This is the greatest healing I have ever known. It is why I feel God is so essential to any emotional processing and why I believe facing our emotions is so essential to knowing God.
I was taught I am only lovable when I met certain criteria.
God and AJ teach me I am lovable and loved, full stop.
This is the true healing. And as I heal I begin to learn what love is, and what love does.
We can write lists, describe love, talk about Truth, and the absence of fear, but, in the end all of this is just talk. The revolution in our hearts is the only thing that will bring Love to earth.
Once we have changed our hearts and let God teach us Love we won’t need formulas, we won’t need commandments or a rule book. God created a feedback system, the Law of Compensation, to tell us when we have been unloving. We only need to reach our hearts, to be brave enough to connect to our pain, in order to make ourselves sensitive to God’s system of Loving once again.
If the desire to love and to know God guides us on this Path, then we can never be lost. To do this however, we must be willing to be honest with ourselves at the deepest level. We must break through our fears of others’ judgement, through our judgement of ourselves, in order to know and own what we really carry; our feelings of pain, anger, resistance and fear. And from this place, if we turn our hearts to God, if we desire to know love, to give love, then the process is already begun; we have only to allow it.
Our hearts can lead us. If we are courageous we will experience our pain, we will face our fears of love and we will let God Love Us. We will begin to know how to love in every situation.
We live in a world accustomed to ‘20 day weight loss’, ‘2 day detox’, fast-tracked diplomas and no queue check-in. This process I describe does not match our custom. It is longer. It requires longing and changes to our hearts. It means facing fear and pain and really knowing the truth about who we are and where we have come from.
It also brings us the surety of God’s goodness. It delivers lasting joy and it is the only true way to know what love would do.
With much love to you all, my heart bursts with the potential for all of us.