In this first series of messages I’ve chosen for discussion we often find people in darkness, despair, disillusionment and doubt.
It isn’t by accident that I chose as I did. It’s important for all of us to face these four ‘d’s i.e. darkness, despair, disillusionment and doubt. Many of us find ourselves the most stuck, faithless and desperate (another ‘d’) when we are shown our own darkness, when doubt and disillusionment rise up, or when faced with the deepest of sorrows.
Yet moving through these ‘d’s, instead of shying away or trying to go around them, is not only necessary to our progression but empowers us to face any difficult emotion.
After reading some of your responses to the last post and on re-reading this next one, I could see that many of you resonated with the themes of hopelessness and despair.
The great news is that Padgett and his friends also give us a great road-map for moving through (not around) the four ‘d’s.
Here’s what I see:
Padgett encourages his friends to open up to God simply from a place of possibility of His love. He encourages them to take steps in faith. However he never does this in ignorance or denial of all of their current doubts and fears. He never belittles their struggles, nor tells them to ‘just get over it’. Yet I find many of us tell ourselves and others these kinds of messages when we encounter the four ‘d’s.
Padgett doesn’t lecture them on why their feelings aren’t valid; he asks them to consider truth and logic, and to try it out for themselves.
Using our will in a positive direction is vital if we are to move through the four ‘d’s.
Here’s our latest discussion of a message in the Great Experiment Series.
Click here to view the message in the next browser tab.
Can you see any other clues this message provides for dealing with doubt, despair, disillusionment and darkness?
Some More Practical Tips to Not Get STUCK in the Four ‘D’s
1. Acknowledge and Own the Feelings
Don’t try to tell yourself that they don’t exist, that their presence means that you aren’t spiritually evolved or that you should be over them by now.
Instead recognise these feelings as a signal from your soul that something needs healing.
When you judge your darkness, instead of examining it, this is your attempt to shut it down.
When you try to push away doubt, instead of really allowing it, you miss the opportunity to discover the real emotions of fear the doubt is covering. Doubt is often a place we use to hide from fear, but it gets depressing and depleting to live in. When we dig deeper into our doubt, then we discover our fear and can unlock the stuck place we have been enduring.
Despair and disillusionment are tough feelings – acknowledging them helps to uncover why they are there.
Ultimately you will need to grieve the causes for all of these feelings (you know that bit right), but I see that many of us fall down, get spirit influenced, and waste time on our spiritual journey when we know we aren’t getting to the causes yet. I see people start to push themselves hard to get there, instead of recognising that there are blocks (which are also feelings) that need to be worked through in order to completely release these causes. This work of releasing blocks is so vital and important, and pushing ourselves is the opposite of sitting with our resistance and allowing it to be felt.
Sitting with our resistance to our errors feels uncomfortable. That’s usually when the pushing, self-punishment or the denial starts. We want it over with, fixed and healed very quickly, or we try to talk ourselves out of the truth of it.
That’s because acknowledging we have a problem or error in our soul and realising that we are totally resisting the experience of this error can trigger other sets of emotions. Lots of childhood terrors of not being loved if we aren’t perfect, or aren’t performing can start to surface. The only answer I’ve found to combat this (and it’s a point that probably deserves an entire post of its own) is to practice compassion with self.
Recognise that these feelings are scary and painful and give yourself time and space to explore your soul. I see many of us treating ourselves worse than we would another person in the same situation. Ask yourself, how would I lovingly treat a child who came to me with the problem I find myself in? Treat yourself the same way.
Let me say categorically that pushing ourselves never helps.
Instead we can take positive steps to acknowledge the pain; know and be kind to ourselves and to pray for sincere desire to change.
2. Remind Ourselves of Truth
Many of the Padgett messages demonstrate spirits and Padgett himself speaking with others to remind them that their fears, doubts and worries are not in harmony with the way God’s Love or Universe works.
We can do the same thing for ourselves.
When disillusionment and despair loom, dark spirits love to get in on the act and reinforce really negative messages to us. Engaging very sincerely in prayer i.e. seeking Truth from God (rather than listening to messages from spirits in lower conditions) is perhaps the most important thing we can do in this situation.
Along with this we can seeking out sources of truth on earth via the Padgett Messages, revisiting past lessons in love or big growth changes we have made in the past, talking to people who have a higher condition of love, or listening to a seminar on the issue we are struggling with.
The use of logic is very helpful in reminding ourselves of truth. The problem with fear – and it is fear that drives the existence of all four of the ‘d’s in our lives – is that it resists logic. Fear can’t continue to reign in an environment that upholds truth.
So we can decide to uphold lives and actions that honour truth. This will trigger us into releasing our fears and pain.
Our intellect can be a useful tool to remind ourselves of truth. Even if the truth has not entered our souls as yet, if we remind ourselves of the Truths we have faith in, or have simply heart, we can base our actions on these. This is a very important step in breaking the dominance of fear over our lives (and again there is much more I could say on the topic but today I’m just giving you the
Here is a very basic, practical and helpful exercise to help if you find yourself really stuck.
Divide your journal page into two columns. At the top of one column write ‘My Belief’, in the other ‘God’s Truth’.
Work your way down the page being very honest with yourself about your current beliefs around a certain issue. Instead of writing what you think your feelings or beliefs should be, write what you emotionally believe.
Examining your actions in the area you are exploring is helpful to discover what you really believe. For example, if I say that I believe that telling the truth is the most loving thing to do, and yet I continually avoid doing it – then I must consider that either I don’t feel its a loving act, or I don’t yet have a desire to love. What are the emotional beliefs that drive the actions?
Here are a few examples:
|
My Belief |
God’s Truth |
| I’ll never be able to handle my shame, pain | God created me to be able to heal any injury |
| Acknowledging my fear and allowing it as physical experience in my body makes me a ‘weakling’. People will attack me more if I show I am afraid. | Allowing my fear liberates me from it. It is strength to acknowledge and experience fear bodily not weakness. Others can harm us less when we feel our fear. We are more able to respond in love and maintain our safety when we know and allow fear. |
| Telling the truth to others hurts them and is not loving them. | Telling the truth is an act of personal integrity – when we withhold truth and put on a façade we break God’s Laws of Love.Sharing truth enables the free will of others i.e. they are able to make more informed choices (Personal reflection after considering God’s Truth): When I don’t tell the truth its more about preventing my fear than about regard for their emotions. |
Keep in mind that none of these strategies take the place of true emotional healing which is vital to our progress, however many of these things keep me away from negative influence and soften me to my fearful feelings.
Notes Along The Way 
Hi Mary, thank you,
I feel courage to ‘fall’ into our D’s in order to drop through them i got from the message or to even just acknowledge the D’s infact i feel that is the biggest thing i got from them, having a willingness to acknowledge the denial, disillusionment and doubt because if we do at least accept we have those things we will build a desire to move through them and out of them. To build a desire to get to know the D’s in order to recognise them when they are present. A desire to feel love not pain can help us realise this doesn’t have to be a permanent state, that the wound has to heal along with itchyness and soreness along the healing process and that we may have to sit with that before we will desire to go beneath. A huge thing has happened for me recently and that is just realising how little i know, i feel that has opened me up to experimenting more. If we believed we knew everything we wouldnt experiment. So if i am not experiencing love then i obviously don’t know something yet and that is ok, and work from there. ..
Much Love, Laura x
Hi Mary–Thanks so much for this post. Interestingly, I have been pondering the same subject this past week. My spirit guides told me that I was avoiding the emotion of TERROR and that instead of feeling that, I was jumping straight into despair, and then back out into addiction to avoid prolonged feelings of despair. I have also been led to state God’s truth to myself as I am going through this process and love the journal exercise you have here. I just love your posts! Keep them coming!!
Caro
Caro,
Thank-you very much for your kind feedback! I love that this post was helpful to you.
M xo
Hi Mary,
I am fairly new to all of this (4 months now). I just wanted to say hello and thank you for today’s post. Last night I was actually in the 3 of the 4 D’s . Mostly I was feeling the darkness and despair. The doubt is more self doubt, not doubt about any of the teachings. Sometimes it feels like that game of “Chutes and Ladder” – I feel that I am progressing and then slide right back to where I was because I see the error in what I thought was progression.
Anyway, long story short, I wanted to thank you for this timely post. Seems like an answer to my prayer even though I didn’t pray about it last night because I was in self blame.
jo
Jo, lovely to hear from you.
I’m glad the post was helpful. Hopefully in the coming months I’ll have the time to write more about the four ‘d’s since I feel they are so important to overcome (and are at times the hardest emotions to talk about in the open).
Love
Mary
Hi Mary,
Thank you for giving us so much wisdom and encouragement!
I just wanted to add the Fifth D – Devotion! It helps me a lot when the other D’s seem overwhelming.
What there is, there is… and I want to see it, know it and feel it.
Love
Eva
Hi Everyone
What a great interaction this letter is . It’s very moving that Mr Taggart, Helen and James Padgett all had love, compassion and mercy for Mr Harvey and wanted to be of service to him.
I don’t know what everyone else sees but I’ve looked at the attitudes of the three spirits who have already received Divine Love and Mr Harvey who has not yet, to demonstrate some attitudes and qualities we can develop that will help when we are experiencing the “D’s”.
Some general points about the helpers/ministers:
1. Helen is open enough and willing to do what James asks and fetch Mr Harvey.
2, James and Mr Taggart desire to help their friend who is suffering. They are encouraging, willing to share their personal experiences, willing to share what truth they know, willing to share their hopes, be patient with Mr Harvey, persist in their logic and structure their ” testimony” in a way that appeals to Harvey/will impact him – they mention his stubborn nature that needs proof for everything and Taggart speaks about the evidence all around them of spirits who have moved into more happiness by doing what James Padgett has suggested.
Harvey – what he experiences and what they suggest him to try to move out of his suffering:
1. Mr Harvey is willing to come and listen and BE HELPED (eventually!). Personal Reflection: Are we willing to be helped, to listen and to DO what is being suggested. (I still get stuck on that 3rd one). If not why not? There is a great example here of James Padgett practicing what he “preaches” when Taggart says “George, you are wrong there, for our friend does not merely say pray, but he prays with us and for us and seems to believe with all his heart that there is a God and that he will answer prayer.” To me Taggart is expressing how he RESPECTS James for himself doing what he suggests and he knows that this will have an impact on Harvey as well.Taggart and Padgett have both had a personal experience of God’s love or something that could be God’s love that has improved their condition. They are not empty words.
2. Mr Harvey is initially despairing and disillusioned and despondent. and angry at the priests and believes he has been mislead – this would be my first point out of despond – allow myself to express some anger at my situation. He is honest about what he feels about God. James, Harvey or Helen do not try to stop him expressing these feelings
3.Being rational/listening to rational arguments – Taggart encourages Harvey to “Be a man who can keep his mind open to what he sees and the reasons therefore may come to you. Let us not become hard-headed in this matter.” and “Exercise of a little reason and will, and you may be on the right track to salvation.”
4. Willingness to examine beliefs and see the effect they are having on our willingnes to engage with the process – Taggart says “I tell you that while he did not convince me that there was a God or any efficacy in prayer, yet it made me think and wonder if I could be wrong and he right.”
5. Willingness to listen and ponder on the truth – these words really are beautiful to me when Taggart says “and yet that God does not force that love on you or make you believe in him and only when you are willing to receive that love of your own volition will it come to you. ”
On a personal note I have found that my judgment of myself for being in this condition and not knowing how to feel my emotions were causing a lot of my despair. I felt i needed to go back a step and look at my resistance to forgiving myself and then to go through the process of forgiving myself for being a ” mess” and a “disappointment”. That has then helped me to be more rational and to begin the experiment again.
Amanda
Pingback: Moving through the Four ‘D’s {The Great Experiment Series} | telloutmysoul's Blog
Mary I often don’t get what you mean until I’ve had that experience myself. A few weeks ago my daughter had to take some medicine that she thought would be terrible and disgusting to take. The fear and trembling and fuss and horror before even tasting the medicine revealed me to myself and reminded me of this post where the we can underestimate the power of the four ds to prevent us taking an action that would benefit us greatly.
Remembering that God ALWAYS wants to help us move forward is an important reminder for me to pray.
Amanda.
Pingback: Turning Points | telloutmysoul's Blog
Thanks so much for this post Mary. I have been working through these emotions lately and it is always good to have some reassurance and guidance. Practicing compassion with myself and being truthful about where I am at this moment are gradually becoming more real for me. Slowly. I have found this post (as I do all of your posts) very helpful and encouraging. thank you.
Love
Linda.
Pingback: Re-Visit | Dear God…
Hi Mary,
Thank you for this post. I am not understanding the four D’s very well, but something about this resonates within me. I have been living this path (to the best of my ability through the moments) and have made some drastic changes to my lifestyle in just 2 months. I have released some errors and have experienced some joy–I have been pretty amazed by the results this path has had for me. I have come to a point where I feel emotions all day everyday and my eyes seem to constantly be filled with tears. There are multiple emotions and/or errors surfacing at once and it’s getting harder to discern between them. Is this me sitting in resistance or is this what happens as we get deeper into our errors? I guess I am just looking for guidance from someone more progressed in love than I am. It’s been wonderful yet painful letting these emotions flow, but now it’s getting a bit overwhelming when they all come at once. This has all happened right after I asked God to show me my soul condition and have developed my relationship with God more. Are these emotions my ‘darkness’? I know I would benefit from the understanding of these 4 D’s and also the compassion for myself…I am not good at that.
Thank you,
Jennifer