A while ago I was excited to read this comment from Markus on one of my blog posts.
Dear Mary, .. Recently I started meditating each morning and evening, focussing on my emotions and praying to god about sharing some truth with me. While I still don’t feel the connection to god very much, I was able to process quite some emotions and in my experience, my heart opens up through this process, opening myself towards the large and small gifts, even if they are just events triggering other emotions 🙂 XO Markus
I love to hear that people are trying the Great Experiment regularly.
For myself, opening my heart up to ask for God’s Love never fails to have a big impact – regardless of whether I receive the Love or not. Through the very act of asking my will and heart have reached for something higher and beautiful and this does effect my soul.
Here are some of the questions I’ve been asking and finding answers for as I engage the ‘Great Experiment’ lately:
“What beliefs do I have about God that stop me asking for the Love?”
“What beliefs do I have about myself that stop me asking for the Love?”
“What stops me longing for the Love all the time?”
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In the Padgett messages we hear from spirits who show perseverance in their prayer life. For example, Riddle shares:
And, when I learned that prayer was the only way to this Love, and saw you praying for me with all your heart and in great earnestness, I commenced to pray also; but I must confess that my prayers were not accompanied with much faith. But I continued to pray, and every night when you prayed for me and for the many others who were with you praying, I tried to exercise all the faith possible and prayed for more faith.
This continued for some time, and one day your grandmother……. She assured me that if I would only try to believe, and pray to God to help me believe, He would answer my prayers; and I would soon find that with my earnest efforts, faith would come to me, and with faith would come this Love into my heart, and with this Love would come happiness and joy.
So I listened to her, and tried to believe that what she told me must be true, and that she was interested in me and desired only my happiness. I continued to pray, …..
At last, light came to me, and with it, such an inflowing of Love as I never dreamed could exist, either in the earth or in the spirit world. But it came to me and I felt as if I were a new spirit, and such happiness came as I never experienced before.
The Great Experiment clearly requires patience and perseverance as we develop real faith.
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I asked David, who blogs here, to share something about his experience with The Great Experiment.
He wrote back telling me.. I thought I’d try the experiment for now rather than a previous experience. Like I need an excuse 🙂
I love that he went for a new experience of the Great Experiment. Here’s what he had to share. (I used one of David’s last reflections as inspiration for the title of this post).
My experiment – by David Wall
For me, I’m a bit convoluted I suppose but I often don’t feel myself and writing helps me. I write about how I feel and I feel those feelings subsequently, so its a roundabout process but for me it helps. I write to myself, I write for others in mind and often I write to God.
Here I wanted to undertake the great experiment as a writing and feeling process. I read the quote from the Padgett messages and wrote to God, as honestly as I could:
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“If there be a God, and if that God has a love for me, and is ready to fill my soul with that love and make me happy and full of light, and whether I receive that love or not depends upon my will, then if this is all true, I will that God give me this love with all my strength and desire”
I can feel you there God, I’ve always felt you there to some extent. I know I’m still afraid. Afraid of how people will see me, afraid to really open up to you – what that would mean? Would I lose control? Will people say I’m mad?
I do want to feel your love, your light, your warm embrace but you know I struggle. I struggle every day, I struggle to look after myself, to love myself, to open up my heart fully and love others.
I don’t know how to change, I don’t know how it is you have so much faith in me, sometimes I just feel broken and so needy and so afraid.
I want to open still to you even though I can feel all my sadness, I have faith in you because of the undying faith you have in me. I have faith in your way, the process you’ve laid forth for me right now.
[here I was sobbing for a while]
So now I feel more open, I can’t stop laughing, I feel my heart is full, fuller and at peace. I feel that truth can be known here, any truth felt as a feeling between us, and with that you show me the way.
———————
So then I got out of the car and I went for a walk in the park, it was dark being about 5am in the morning. I felt a subtle but powerful feeling, like a lightness but I also felt really grounded, at peace and happy.
I asked a few things and could feel the answer. Like I asked about the OPPT and I felt the answer that God’s plan is in absolutely everyone and everything softly leading the way towards love, but what’s important is our own personal process as God’s plan is in our hearts, so that is where change is born. I asked about my life and relationship and felt it was important to be stedfast, be honest with myself and just allow things to unfold rather than looking for something to “fix things”. Then I shared a joke. It was about how funny it is that I get all arrogant when by comparison, God who created myself, everyone and the whole universe, is by far the most unassuming, and humble of anyone. So I kind of laughed at the concept that sometimes I think I’m better than others for whatever reason, knowing that its a ludicrous concept.
For a while I sung out some soppy hits, which I’m getting into lately like “love will bring you back to my arms – Taylor Dane” but I sought of made my own lyrics because I don’t know the right ones. I sung then John Lennon’s “Yesterday” and felt a much clearer, funner and more powerful voice than the attempts before.
I got back to the car, still feeling at peace but also energised. I put on the radio and started crying – it was Missy Higgins “the special two” then Robbie Williams, “Betterman” was on and the lyrics where so spot on for me.
The crying however was not a painful feeling but more like an acknowledgement, that “I understand God, and thank you”. Because it felt like God had a playlist waiting for me, as it was really really spot on for me.
That’s how my little experiment went.
Notes Along The Way 
Thanks Mary, those questions are EXACTLY what I’ve been praying and longing to know about right now. If it is me that holds God away, I really need to know how, why and what to do about it. And yeah, God always has a playlist for me 24/7! And I love it. I’m sincerely hoping and praying God will help me with an original playlist of songs that pour out my love for God and the beauty of God’s Truth with the most heart opening melodies imaginable. Love Kat
thank you for this Mary, again it is perfect timing. Incredibly perfect, as it always is. This helps the rock wall of my fear that I am headbutting this morning feel just that little bit softer and yielding slightly. (interlude for a bit of an emote) Feeling a little better now, but conscious of the dripfeed I have on my emotional expression. That one is still feeling pretty solid.
Thanks David and Markus too, you have helped me today.
love,
Teresa
That is Beautiful David Thanks so much. I can relate to our experiment as i feel that quite often when i soften my heart and pray. I usually pray as i play my guitar and sing and feel.
Mary that is a great post. God is definitely a DJ when we are ready to hear her music. Love to you both.
Fabio
Hi Mary,
Thanks again for another post that opens me to a deeper level of feeling my true soul condition. In particular the three questions that you’ve been asking lately. As I read them, my own answer to each one was immediate, without me even seeking. What came through loud and clear was also the same for each, i.e. receiving love scares the living daylights out of me! I’ve been praying to God to show me why it is that I can’t feel his love flowing to me in the way that others seem to receive it (according to what I read and listen to). I see now that it’s hardly surprising that I can’t feel it when I’m even afraid to receive ‘too much’ love from a mortal man whose love cannot compare to that of God’s. Jesus says that our own life will reflect what our desires truly are, and this is but one example in my own life. So thank you for sharing those questions. I’ll be writing them up and keeping them before me as I continue with my own experimentation.
Much love,
Joellen
Thank you Mary, Markus and David for all your contributions to this post…each piece of it is resonating within me since I first read the post last night (the post itself rescued me from some seriously low-level musings!;) )
and God is SUCH a DJ…i have been led on an amazing journey with music lately. I wish I had the energy to write about it…I swear, this path is like an Easter egg hunt, I just keep following the subtle cues from one song, one lyric, one movie, one memory… to be led right into those emotions that are ready for release!
Thank You Mary and Thank you David,
I often wake up with a particular song singing it to myself with my internal voice.
It seems that these songs really do help me emotionaly. The latest ones are a couple of very emotional songs sung by Van Morrison ……. ” The healing game” and my favourite ” Have I told you lately ” The lyrics go ” have I told you lately that I love you, have I told you there is no one above you “. I always feel God so close when I play this one. I feel for me that music seems to touch me deeply and opens my soul up, tears flow and I feel like God’s emotional child.
I feel all this inspiration and feel overwhelming love for others. On another note
I have been experimenting with asking for Divine Love and nothing…… so I was out walking yesterday morning talking to God and asking for Divine Love again and nothing……. I said God I give up and threw my hands up in the air and then the truth arrived…… My belief…. I am not good enough to receive God’s Love.
I am just not good enough. A huge belief that I have been hanging onto my whole life. Tryng to be good enough for Dad. So lots to feel, perseverance, the will to just keep on going and patience with myself. And thankyou Yeshua for I have been listening to your talk on Laws of Love of self.
My love and blessings,
Max
I really love the title. I love to the Faithless song of the same name. Great lyrics too:
“God Is A DJ”
This is my church
This is where I heal my hurt
It’s a natural grace
Of watching young life shape
It’s in minor keys
Solutions and remedies
Enemies becoming friends
When bitterness ends
This is my church [3x]
This is my church
This is where I heal my hurt
It’s in the world I become
Content in the hum
Between voice and drum
It’s in change
The poetic justice of cause and effect
Respect, love, compassion
This is my church
This is where I heal my hurt
For tonight
God is a DJ [3x]
This is my church [3x]
Even though I’ve had some experience where I feel I’ve connected with God, I’m still kind of faithless too. I mean I still err on the side of self reliance most of the time. Anyway, I’m glad you asked me Mary to write about an experience… turns out I do look for excuses to connect with God, usually when that brick hits the back of my head. I’ve got to take more notice of the feathers I think. So thanks for asking me and posting too, cheers Mary!
love, David
Hey David,
Glad you caught the song reference and that you approve!
Its lovely to hear from people in the comments who enjoyed and got something from your reflections.
Thanks again for sharing,
Mary
Reblogged this on Disorderly Happiness.
Awesome write-up, both Mary and David. The greatest experience I’ve had was about 6 months ago my girlfriend and I were split up. We were both taking time to reflect on where we were and what we wanted in our relationship. I was concentrating a lot at that time on feeling about God and one key element that day in particular: Love. One day, I was driving around thinking about how Love was not demanding or had any expectations and that God never demands that from anyone towards herself and how lovely that thought was. God never makes us love her. And, then…Bonnie Raitt’s song came on. Yes, that one. “I can’t make you love me.” As soon as it started to play, a light when on. And so did the water works. I tell you, I had to pull over, because I knew what was happening. I cried harder and happier than I had in a very long time. It was AWESOME. I kept playing it, until the tears wouldn’t come out any more. That was some magical moment. Btw, we are both not only back together, but I’ve moved in and we are very excited for the next part of our journey. Thanks guys.
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