I’ve often jokingly said to others that I’m the poster girl for ‘What not to do’ on the quest for Divine Love.
I certainly lived in rebellion for a long time after I met AJ again, and I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes along the way. Most of these I’ve spoken about publicly, at seminars and on video recordings. I’ve never been proud of my troubles and unlovingness, but I’ve always felt passionately that, if my sharing could help someone else avoid the mistakes I’d made, then I wanted to speak up about it.
I’ve told most of you my deepest shames and biggest errors. It hasn’t always been easy but my feeling that it was important pulled me through.
That is why lately, I’ve felt strange and somewhat mystified as I’ve sat to write about my personal experiences with the Great Experiment. I find myself shaky, and emotional, and at a loss for words.
Its strange because this time – the news is all good.
God is showing me so many things through prayer.
…… I …..
There I go again, all teary and lost for adjectives to tell you how amazing this journey is turning out to be.
At first I thought my troubles with writing were because I don’t think its quite possible to put the power and beauty of God into words. Which is of course true.
But that didn’t really explain the difficulty, since the things I want to share are not so much about God but the personal changes I’ve experienced though engaging the Great Experiment in its simplicity and with sincerity.
So I’ve been praying about the problem and have come to the following, humbling recognitions:
– I’m embarrassed by my hope, my faith and my passion for God.
I’ve found a deep well of judgement bearing down on the childlike feelings in my heart for God and His Love. So much so that it seems to have the power to stop some words dead in my mouth, or on a keyboard.
Basically, I’m so passionate about the beauty and possibility that a relationship with God offers every single one of us that I’m afraid of being judged as childish and naive. So I skip ahead and judge myself.
– The thought of sounding all sweetness, light and no substance, also bothers me.
This realisation led me to immediately pray the fervent prayer:
‘Please never let me explain things in terms that people can’t understand, in airy fairy language or using vague sentiments. Let me always be real, and clear and practical.’
No sooner had I prayed my desperate prayer, than I remembered about a zillion times when, through a lack of confidence or in a state of nervousness (read: sheer terror) or simply because I just didn’t get the lesson at hand myself, I’ve done exactly that. That is, I’ve been vague, spoken in half sentences and danced around the truth with the wistful hope that people will read between the lines and miraculously extrapolate what I mean.
Not to mention the times when I’ve been all caught up in what I like to call my ‘poetry of pain’ injury. The poetry out of pain injury is somewhat embarrassing to me, and has its roots far, far back in my family line. It looks a lot like ‘valiantly suffering for a cause’ and/ or ‘living in the drama of the hardship’ rather than just having a good old-fashioned cry about it and moving on. It’s about romanticizing sadness and metaphorically making very bad Shakespearean ‘poetry’ out of the pain. At those times I’ve actually displayed the path and the truth about emotions just completely wrong.
So bummer for me (and you who tried to understand what on earth I was on about at those times). I’m trying to mend my ways.
– But most of all I’ve found that I’m afraid of people trying to punish me for my joy.
Holy Toledo, did that one come out of left field. Definitely an emotion that deserves some more attention from me. As yet, its still very raw and mysterious.
I tell you – this Great Experiment is the gift that keeps on giving. Engaging it and then attempting to tell you about it, has opened me up to so many emotions.
I’m learning awesome things, and I’m receiving Divine Love.
For the first time in five years I feel at peace with my life.
(There you go – I got some of that out).
Anyway, the real reason I’m writing today is to introduce to you the next in our series of discussions of Padgett Messages that fits into our Great Experiment series.
The message we discuss is from Solomon, and its my favourite. In fact, I was so moved by this message and our discussion that we had to stop tape twice so that I could go and have a sob in Lena & Igor’s loo. Seriously.
However, since I seem to have prattled on so much about my own injured stuff in this post, and I don’t want to mar the beautiful tone of the actual message and video discussion, I’ve decided to post the video links in a separate post.
I know that might seem crazy but Solomon needs his own space.
Check out his simple yet awesome message, in full, in the next post.
This year I’ve been working my way through a series of Padgett Messages that discuss the experiences of people developing their relationship with God through prayer. Many of the messages are from people who are experimenting with this longing for the first time.
I’ve also invited some friends on Earth to share their experiences with ‘the Great Experiment’. I’m loving theirstories (hope you are too).
Here’s a summary of the Truths found in the latest message in the series. Its from Padgett’s old friend, Riddle. I loved the quantity and calibre of Truths that Riddle was able to share in this seemingly straightforward message.
You can read the message in full by clicking here.
Truths In The Message Received by Padgett on 20th January, 1915
Sincerely engaging ‘The Experiment’ opens our eyes to the things of the spirit and our hearts to God’s Love.
Receiving God’s Love makes us beautiful, happy and joyous.
In order to receive God’s Love perseverance and a growing faith is required.
Prayer is effective.
God’s Love is beyond our comprehension. Nothing compares to it, it’s unimaginable.(Mary’s side note: actually no matter what our condition – even at-onement with God – receiving God’s Love is always overwhelming)
God’s Love makes us feel new.
Receiving God’s Love elevates the mind. It is no longer preoccupied with mere intellectual thoughts.
Knowledge of God’s Laws & Nature is good but a knowledge of His Love is necessary, and far more satisfying and desirable.
As we receive God’s Love we gain soul understanding of God’s other qualities and attributes. These include His Wisdom & Power.
It’s worth listening to Jesus.
Only when a person has a soul awakening of a love for God can they recognise Jesus for who he is.
There are many benefits to receiving God’s Love while on earth. It can save much suffering after passing. Riddle believes that everyone should know how important (necessary even) it is to obtain God’s Love while still on earth.
Our prayers help others.
If people in the world understood the true Way of Divine Love, much suffering, unhappiness would be avoided. We would not sin as we do.
If you are like me and you love to follow the character and stories of people, you can find more about Albert Riddle’s journey in the spirit world prior to this message here,here, here and here.
Of course Riddle writes to Padgett again and again over the years. The messages I have referenced above are just those prior to Riddle’s report on obtaining Divine Love and entering the Third Sphere on the 20th of January, 1915.
What do you think of this message? Did you see any more Truths not in my list?
A while ago I was excited to read this comment from Markus on one of my blog posts.
Dear Mary, .. Recently I started meditating each morning and evening, focussing on my emotions and praying to god about sharing some truth with me. While I still don’t feel the connection to god very much, I was able to process quite some emotions and in my experience, my heart opens up through this process, opening myself towards the large and small gifts, even if they are just events triggering other emotions 🙂 XO Markus
I love to hear that people are trying the Great Experiment regularly.
For myself, opening my heart up to ask for God’s Love never fails to have a big impact – regardless of whether I receive the Love or not. Through the very act of asking my will and heart have reached for something higher and beautiful and this does effect my soul.
Here are some of the questions I’ve been asking and finding answers for as I engage the ‘Great Experiment’ lately:
“What beliefs do I have about God that stop me asking for the Love?”
“What beliefs do I have about myself that stop me asking for the Love?”
“What stops me longing for the Love all the time?”
In the Padgett messages we hear from spirits who show perseverance in their prayer life. For example, Riddle shares:
And, when I learned that prayer was the only way to this Love, and saw you praying for me with all your heart and in great earnestness, I commenced to pray also; but I must confess that my prayers were not accompanied with much faith. But I continued to pray, and every night when you prayed for me and for the many others who were with you praying, I tried to exercise all the faith possible and prayed for more faith.
This continued for some time, and one day your grandmother……. She assured me that if I would only try to believe, and pray to God to help me believe, He would answer my prayers; and I would soon find that with my earnest efforts, faith would come to me, and with faith would come this Love into my heart, and with this Love would come happiness and joy.
So I listened to her, and tried to believe that what she told me must be true, and that she was interested in me and desired only my happiness. I continued to pray, …..
At last, light came to me, and with it, such an inflowing of Love as I never dreamed could exist, either in the earth or in the spirit world. But it came to me and I felt as if I were a new spirit, and such happiness came as I never experienced before.
The Great Experiment clearly requires patience and perseverance as we develop real faith.
I asked David, who blogs here, to share something about his experience with The Great Experiment.
He wrote back telling me.. I thought I’d try the experiment for now rather than a previous experience. Like I need an excuse 🙂
I love that he went for a new experience of the Great Experiment. Here’s what he had to share. (I used one of David’s last reflections as inspiration for the title of this post).
My experiment – by David Wall
For me, I’m a bit convoluted I suppose but I often don’t feel myself and writing helps me. I write about how I feel and I feel those feelings subsequently, so its a roundabout process but for me it helps. I write to myself, I write for others in mind and often I write to God.
Here I wanted to undertake the great experiment as a writing and feeling process. I read the quote from the Padgett messages and wrote to God, as honestly as I could:
“If there be a God, and if that God has a love for me, and is ready to fill my soul with that love and make me happy and full of light, and whether I receive that love or not depends upon my will, then if this is all true, I will that God give me this love with all my strength and desire”
I can feel you there God, I’ve always felt you there to some extent. I know I’m still afraid. Afraid of how people will see me, afraid to really open up to you – what that would mean? Would I lose control? Will people say I’m mad?
I do want to feel your love, your light, your warm embrace but you know I struggle. I struggle every day, I struggle to look after myself, to love myself, to open up my heart fully and love others.
I don’t know how to change, I don’t know how it is you have so much faith in me, sometimes I just feel broken and so needy and so afraid.
I want to open still to you even though I can feel all my sadness, I have faith in you because of the undying faith you have in me. I have faith in your way, the process you’ve laid forth for me right now.
[here I was sobbing for a while]
So now I feel more open, I can’t stop laughing, I feel my heart is full, fuller and at peace. I feel that truth can be known here, any truth felt as a feeling between us, and with that you show me the way.
So then I got out of the car and I went for a walk in the park, it was dark being about 5am in the morning. I felt a subtle but powerful feeling, like a lightness but I also felt really grounded, at peace and happy.
I asked a few things and could feel the answer. Like I asked about the OPPT and I felt the answer that God’s plan is in absolutely everyone and everything softly leading the way towards love, but what’s important is our own personal process as God’s plan is in our hearts, so that is where change is born. I asked about my life and relationship and felt it was important to be stedfast, be honest with myself and just allow things to unfold rather than looking for something to “fix things”. Then I shared a joke. It was about how funny it is that I get all arrogant when by comparison, God who created myself, everyone and the whole universe, is by far the most unassuming, and humble of anyone. So I kind of laughed at the concept that sometimes I think I’m better than others for whatever reason, knowing that its a ludicrous concept.
For a while I sung out some soppy hits, which I’m getting into lately like “love will bring you back to my arms – Taylor Dane” but I sought of made my own lyrics because I don’t know the right ones. I sung then John Lennon’s “Yesterday” and felt a much clearer, funner and more powerful voice than the attempts before.
I got back to the car, still feeling at peace but also energised. I put on the radio and started crying – it was Missy Higgins “the special two” then Robbie Williams, “Betterman” was on and the lyrics where so spot on for me.
The crying however was not a painful feeling but more like an acknowledgement, that “I understand God, and thank you”. Because it felt like God had a playlist waiting for me, as it was really really spot on for me.
Last year, we travelled to Barbados and I had the chance to meet and stay with some of AJ’s old friends, George and Calena.
I loved getting to know them and especially hearing from George about his experiences with Divine Love and Truth. On the last day of our stay I also had the extreme honour of channelling George’s guides to him. There is something so special about feeling a guide’s love for their friend on earth. I never tire of this process.
I also get to feel some of the pristine qualities that draw specific guides to their individual charges on earth i.e. what soul qualities they have in common. So its like catching a slight hint of the person on earth’s true personality and potential, for just a moment. As I said – huge honour.
George is a great story teller. During our stay he told me of his first experience with ‘The Great Experiment’ and it was gripping! He is very expressive, descriptive and full of passion for God.
So when I decided to put together this series it seemed natural to ask him to write the story of his receiving Divine Love for the first time. Of course, some of that expression is lost in the written (rather than spoken) word but I still love his story.
Thank-you George – over to you.
George & Calena
This is my testimony and findings concerning GODS DIVINE LOVE which is still available to all mankind.
Some years ago, I believe it was in 1999, my wife’s sister, aged 46, passed away suddenly one night. This of course was shocking to all the family to say the least. In the interim a friend through our network, Brenda, gave my wife a brochure entitled: “What happens when you die” She wasn’t up to reading it for some reason so she gave it to me to peruse. I found this brochure extremely intriguing as no one really talks about death. Makes one wonder is this what everyone is so afraid of it?
Anyway I asked my wife to ask Brenda if there was a book I could read about this, she told me there were 4 plus, I told her get me book 1 please. I don’t think I had finished 20 pages of the book (that has over 300) before I quickly asked my wife to get me the rest of the books.
My life came to a complete halt. I locked myself in my room (peace and quiet) and read these 4 books written in the early 1900’s by James E Padgett, a lawyer form Washington D.C., and New testament Revelations 3 times consecutively. Non stop. I couldn’t get enough. I ate and came back up to read, more than 12 hours a day.
As I read in the beginning these folks writing to Padgett and one thing kept repeating itself over and over and over again…
“PRAY IN ALL EARNESTNESS FOR THE FATHERS LOVE TO OPEN AND COME IN YOUR SOUL”
I hung onto those words and still do like my life depends on it. There is no greater truth that mankind can know, while this privilege is still available.
So the first day I prayed and prayed… nothing seemed to happen.. I broke down and prayed some more and…. zip.
I kept reading and this same message kept repeating itself from so many different spirits..
So the second day…. I prayed some more, but when I awoke the 3rd day I had the realization that I hadn’t prayed as strong as I had the first day.
Well this 3rd day praying, I let it all go the words IN ALL EARNESTNESS, and read the Prayer for the Divine Love.
I left it all on the table that day.. I broke right down and prayed.
When I look back on that day I realize why I didn’t feel anything right away. I was crying so intensely, wanting to experience the Love so much, that I was in fact expiating quite a bit of negative emotions. (But that is another story).
So I woke up the 4th day. Oh what a glorious morning it was as I sat in bed and felt this beautiful deep glow around the heart region.
It was so beautiful.
It lasted the entire day. I didn’t know that when I woke on the 5th day, the same strong feeling would not be there. Instead I experienced the SOUL LONGINGS, which simply means your soul longing for more.
This is not just a mere thought or words or expressions, but Real True and hard felt emotions. My life has totally changed since.
This is my testimony.
Wishing your soul desires to all come true.
Your brother and friend in the Fathers Divine Love,
Firstly, thank-you to all of you who responded to my last post, requesting some feedback on whether my idea of posting simple “Jesus Quotes” regularly appealed to you. I had no idea there were so many of you out there reading! (just kidding)
Needless to say, I now plan to make “Jesus Quotes” a regular feature. Thanks to all of you for joining in and letting me know how you feel.
I’ve chosen this ‘Great Experiment Series’ because it’s an area that I’m personally giving focus to at present. The simple process of open-hearted longing and relating to God is at the core of everything we teach. Yet it’s something I feel needs much, much more of my personal attention.
As crucial as I know it to be, at times, to simply sit and engage with myself, in order to even begin to open up to God, can be quite a challenge. As the series goes on I plan to share more about the blocks to opening our hearts in sincere prayer that many of us encounter.
I’ve also chosen a number of Padgett Messages to inspire me in my quest. You can find the full list here. These messages relate the experiences of real people engaging the experiment of longing for God’s Love, and clearly highlight the benefits of doing so. For any of us feeling completely blocked towards God, and disheartened in our prayer life, these stories tell us exactly how and where to start.
The first message in our series was received by James Padgett, from his father John Padgett, on the 31st of December, 1914.
Below you will find:
– Some of my brief and recent written reflections on this message
– A video of Jesus and I discussing the message in its entirety
– A full transcript of the actual message
I think it’s apt that for our first message we find Mackey and Taggart in a stuck and disheartened place – a lot of us start right where they are at. Their expression in this message highlights some of the big hurdles and blocks that have prevented their growth so far, such as disillusionment with God due to teachings they learnt on earth (how many of us are still carrying these kinds of injuries in our soul, even though our intellect is now telling us different?), and their fears of hoping and trying for something that they aren’t sure will ever happen.
And yet by the end of the message we see that they are assisted, through Padgett’s sincere concern and his appeal to their logic, to develop some humility. They undertake to understand and attempt the experiment.
I was impressed by Padgett’s example in this and following messages and was very struck by the references that all of the spirits made as to the power of his individual prayers for them.
Some Specific Reflections:
As I reread this message in preparation for this post, a few things really stood out to me.
I was reminded of the power of Truth. As we see demonstrated in this and many other messages to Padgett, simply hearing a truth, or having contact with a person who demonstrates love and truth can be a crucial turning point in a person’s journey. Speaking and acting in support of truth can reach people even in the depths of their despair and hopelessness. It can begin to generate hope, curiosity, and a desire for positive change. And these qualities are all helpful in building faith.
Indeed we see that Padgett’s demonstration of love for his friends, his personal faith and prayers for them, and his delivery of Truth (even in spite of the protestations and arguments of his friends) – that these gifts planted seeds of hope and the possibility for change in the men in spirit.
In this message Mackay’s condition was described:
“he is not very hopeful of ever becoming very happy, as he sees nothing around him but darkness and depravity, and evil spirits who delight in trying to make everyone around them feel that there is no hope for any spirit; but that their lives must be spent in a condition of suffering and unhappiness,”
So not only was a lack of truth harming Mackay’s progress, but spirits were able to manipulate his ignorance and his despair for their own unloving ends. This can happen so easily to us on earth as well.
When we choose to ignore Truth and the evidence of God’s Love for us, we never challenge our hopelessness, or identify it as just a feeling (rather than Truth). This opens us to large amounts of spirit influence from spirits who are invested in us remaining the same, so that they may feed their addictions through us.
When we are without hope, and do not grieve it, dark spirits can tell us that the situation will never change, and that we are deserving of our state.
But we have the choice to challenge negative messages with Truths that we have already been made aware of. We have so many tools available to us that can remind us, and keep us taking steps towards love of ourselves and honour of God’s Truth.
When we focus on Truth, and are humble to our hopelessness (rather than becoming rigid, angry with others or punishing of ourselves – techniques which actually just distracts us from our fear and sadness), we open the door to change, and guidance from higher spirits. Faith grows. Mackay’s example demonstrates this process.
The second element to inspire me in this message was Padgett’s reassurance to Taggart regarding the true nature of loving prayer and its power for our planet:
“He says that he never thought of it in that way, but, if as you say the prayer should be that this love which you say would make men love not only God but one another, and make every man strive to make happy every other man, then if that prayer should be answered, the war would soon stop, and the nations as nations and as individuals would undoubtedly be happy and peace would reign over all the land.”
This vision of peace for the world is a dream of my own. And it inspires me to know that as we pray in sincerity to God for His Love, and receive it, the natural love we have for brothers and sisters is also refined.
So to conclude my reflections, even this simple message gifted to us from John, Mackay and Taggart, serves as an excellent tool through which to challenge our hopelessness with truth, and inspire us towards change.
It demonstrates the power of love, of sincere prayer and of the service we can give to each other, by reminding our sisters and brothers of the great truths we know, and the great hope for humanity that can be gained through each of us developing a personal relationship with God.
What stood out to you in this message?
Our Video Discussion:
The Message Transcript:
December 31, 1914
A Message from John H. Padgett to his son James Padgett
Mr. Padgett’s father tells of soulmate records.
I am here, your father:
I am very happy and am glad that you seem to be also.
Yes, because of your experience the other night in loving Helen and her loving you. You certainly were filled with love and you must be perfectly happy, to have had such a demonstration of love and the realization of the actual sensitive presence of your wife. for I tell you that she was with you and was so filled with her love for you, that we all wondered at her love. She is a spirit that seems to have no limit to her love for you, not many spirits seem to have such abundance of love as she has for you. So you must consider yourself a very blessed man to have such a wife and a soulmate.
Yes, as I told you many years ago, there is of record in the heavens a book of lives, as I might call it, which contains the names of those who are decreed by God to be one through all eternity: and when I want to know who is the soulmate of one who desires to know his or her soulmate, I consult that book, and there I find who the soulmate is. I am not permitted to give the name of the soulmate if he or she is on the earth life, for it might create discord or unhappiness to the living, but if the soulmate is not married then there is no restriction upon me, but if the soulmate is married then I must not tell the name, such is the law of God in this particular.
The reason is that I have that duty assigned to me, and as Helen has told you I have taught her to perform this duty and she is now engaged in it, and is most successful in the performance of her mission. She seems to have a wonderful ability, or you might call it, intuition for locating the soulmates in the spirit world as she never fails when she undertakes to find one. She also finds great happiness in doing this work and in seeing the happiness that comes to them who ask her to perform this task. I do not engage in it with so much enthusiasm as she does, but I do the best that I can, and I am rewarded also by seeing the happiness of those soulmates when they are brought together.
No, not if they are not assigned to do this work. It is one of the provisions of the spiritual world that each person has some work of a certain kind, or several kinds to do, and in that way are helped by the higher powers, or, as we believe, the love of God to perform. A spirit who is assigned to do a particular work, such as helping the spirit when it first enters the spirit world, will not attempt to engage in other work of a wholly different kind.
Yes, as to attempting to awaken a spirit to a conception of the love of God that is waiting for it, all spirits may do this, and when a spirit succeeds in causing a darkened or blinded spirit to feel or realize that God’s love is waiting for it, then the spirit who has caused that awakening is most happy.
Of course, it is only the spirit who has had that awakening himself, who can cause or lead another spirit to that desire for spiritual enlightenment, that will finally cause it to get this love to his full and complete happiness. I am not yet in a condition to be fully able to do this with much success, but your grandmother and mother are very powerful in this particular, and they are the cause of many spirits becoming reconciled to God and His salvation.
So you see, the one great thing to obtain, either while on earth, or after you come here, is this great awakening and love of God in your own heart. It is of all things necessary, the greatest. I know to a considerable degree what it means and the happiness that comes from it; but I am not satisfied and am striving to obtain more of this love, and to rise higher in the Kingdom of God. So you must try also, for you need not wait until you come over.
She has it to a degree that almost enables her to go with your mother, and I think that in a very short time she will leave us and rise to the higher sphere, and we will miss her very much.
Yes, he (Mr. Riddle) is becoming more in condition to receive this love and believe in what your mother tells him. She is the one that is trying to show him the way, more than anyone else. He seems to have great confidence in her and in her love.
He is also progressing very fast, and I expect that he will soon be with me in this sphere. So you see we all are doing well in the way of progressing and your prayers help us very much.
I have seen him (Taggart) very recently and he is in the same condition as when I wrote you first about him. He does not seem to realize that he needs any assistance to help him to become happier or to progress to a better condition and it is difficult to convince him. I tried several times, but he said that I was mistaken in what I told him, and that he knew that he was just where it was intended that he should be, so I have not tried lately.
No, I do not, but I can find him (Mackey) if you desire that I shall, He might want to say something to you, but only through me, as you must not get into rapport with these strangers to our band, for it will do harm, and we must not run the risk.
We are here. Mr. Mackey and Mr. Taggart. They say that they are very glad that you have given them the opportunity to say a word.
He (Mackey) says that he is much happier than when he first came over. as he has commenced to see the things that are necessary to make him happier. He says, that he wants you to tell him of your experience with some of the other spirits, with whom you have come in contact; as he says, he has recently learned from earth sources that you have had considerable experience with spirits who have been in a condition of unrest and spiritual blindness, and have helped them some.
He says that he is in the earth plane, and that when he came over it was a very dark and dreadful road that he traveled, that he was all blind and left alone after he first entered the spirit world, and that only recently has he commenced to see a ray of light, that his condition now is not one in which he receives much happiness, and he is not very hopeful of ever becoming very happy, as he sees nothing around him but darkness and depravity, and evil spirits who delight in trying to make everyone around them feel that there is no hope for any spirit; but that their lives must be spent in a condition of suffering and unhappiness, in other words, that they are in hell and have no hope of getting away from it.
He says that he has gotten some little light from a spirit who has been telling him, that there is hope and a better place if he will only believe it to be so, and let his soul open up to the better influences; but that he cannot believe that there is any God or any Saviour or any better place for him. He says that if there is a better place or any reason to believe that there is a God or Saviour he wants to know it, and if you can help him any, to please do so.
He says that he has not seen Mr. Riddle and did not know that he is in the Spirit World. He says that he will try to find him, and may be he can get some help.
He says that I am much more beautiful than Mr. Taggart, and more happy looking. He further says, that I am not so very different, as he sees it, to cause him to ask that question, but as you request it, he will do so. He has asked me and I told him that my appearance and happiness was caused by my having gotten the love of God in my soul, and the realization that God is my Father, and loves me so very much that he wants me to be his child and become one in thought with Him.
He says that that may be true, but he does not understand it, and that if it is the cause, he would like to know the Way, for he certainly wants to be rid of the awful darkness and despair that is with him almost continuously. Because, as he says, that you are his friend and that he will try to do as you suggested; but he says that he cannot yet believe that there is a God who can help him to get out of his awful condition. He says that he will try to pray and try to believe and that if there is anything in what you say, and you really believe what you say, that you must pray for him also.
He says that for the sake of what you say, that if any of these spirits that you speak of, should come to him, he will listen to them, even though he may not believe – that he cannot promise to believe.
He says that he will come to you tonight and try to pray as you say, but he doubts that it will do any good, but he does not think that it can do any harm. He is willing to pray and will try to believe, you must not feel bad, if when he does so, he tells you that he don’t believe in prayer or God.
He says that he is not willing to run the risk of having his conscience lash him or of his suffering any more than he is now. He does not believe that he can do so and live.
He says, that what you say sounds as if there might be some truth in it, and he will think about it, that is, if his happiness or future state depends upon his will, he will very soon determine that question, for if what you say is true, then he will be a big fool to remain where he is, when by the mere exercise of his will he can get into places of happiness and light. So he says, he will think of what you say.
He says that what you say may be all true, but the difficulty is that he can’t understand, and, therefore, can’t believe.
He says that he can say what you have just said and mean it, and he is ready to do so now. “If there be a God, and if that God has a love for me, and is ready to fill my soul with that love and make me happy and full of light, and whether I receive that love or not depends upon my will, then if this is all true, I will that God give me this love with all my strength and desire.”
He says that he is feeling some strong sensation now, and that he will repeat this and pray to God and ask for faith; and will continue to repeat it, as you have taught him, and he hopes that he may receive this love and light. He says that you have shown him that there may be some such thing as this love of God, and that he is willing to pray, and if his receiving it depends upon his will, he is willing it with all his heart. He says that as you seem to have such faith in this love and in prayer, that you do not forget to pray for him.
Yes, Mr. Taggart has heard it all and he says, that you certainly did put it up to Mackey to try the experiment, but that he is very doubtful if you will see any good results flow from it. He says that he will wait and see what effect it has on Mackey, and then he may be willing to consider the matter. He does not believe that prayer is anything more than a mere wish that emanates in and goes no higher than mind; and that, consequently, there is no God to answer, for if there was the prayers of all the people of the warring nations, would bring about such conflicting answers that confusion would be worse confused.
He says that he never thought of it in that way, but, if as you say the prayer should be that this love which you say would make men love not only God but one another, and make every man strive to make happy every other man, then if that prayer should be answered, the war would soon stop, and the nations as nations and as individuals would undoubtedly be happy and peace would reign over all the land. And if this is the love that you are trying to tell us about, then I am not so certain that it is worth striving for.
You are a very ingenious reasoner, and I commence to see that there may be some logic in what you say, but how am I to attempt to do that in which I have no faith? I know that I ordinarily, when on earth required everything to be proved, and unless things were proved I was not willing to accept conclusions, and I have not changed in that particular since I have come to the spirit world and I find it hard to change; but, as you say, I should be reasonable enough to let my mind be open to a conviction, if such conviction can possibly be brought about by any means, whether they arise from the knowledge that I gained when on earth, or whether they arise from things connected with this spiritual world of which I have very little knowledge.
So after all I guess Mackey is not such a big fool to try the experiment; and having confidence in you as a friend that has at heart my welfare, I will do the same as Mackey has promised to do. So you can pray for me too, and I will pray also – but of course I will not be able to have any belief that my prayers will be answered. So you see I am not only hard headed, but hard hearted also.
Yes I am, if it depends on my will I am more than willing, not only that, but if there be a God and the love that you speak of, I will forever thank that God for taking me away from this condition of blindness and unhappiness.
Yes, I am willing to pray to God to help me to believe, and if that will bring relief, then there will be no difficulty, for I will make such a prayer with all my heart.
You are the most persistent man that I have ever met in these spiritual matters and if what you say happens, I will certainly thank you with all my heart and soul, for I can conceive of nothing more desirable than to have the great blessings and possessions that you tell me about. So I will keep faith with you as I said when nest you give me the opportunity to write, I will frankly tell you what the result of my experiment is.
Yes, and I appreciate what you have done and I say to you that this violation of your law, which the band you speak of has prescribed, has caused me to think more deeply of your interest in me and what you said, than I can express.
So good bye for the present, the next time I come I will try to observe your law, and write through your father, if he will permit me to.
Yes, you certainly did give the gentleman a struggle to get away from what you said to them, and I believe that you have impressed them to such a degree that they will be lead to learn the truth. You are tired and must stop.
* This post has been updated to include more messages.
On December 31st, 1914 James Padgett encouraged his old friend Mackey to pray:
“If there be a God, and if that God has a love for me, and is ready to fill my soul with that love and make me happy and full of light, and whether I receive that love or not depends upon my will, then if this is all true, I will that God give me this love with all my strength and desire.”
It is in essence a simple and powerful prayer – made somewhat convoluted by Mackey’s state of doubt and lack of faith in God at the time.
The prayer could perhaps be summarised as:
“If there is a God who loves me, I ask then for that Love.”
But isn’t the truth that most of us start out with hearts just like Mackey’s?
And today, if we still aren’t receiving God’s Love often, then wouldn’t it be fair to deduce that, even if our thoughts about God may have changed, maybe our hearts are still that same way?
As part of the new blog and my new focus I’ll soon be kicking off the first set of posts in the section ‘Relating to God’.
The series will be entitled ‘Reflections on the Great Experiment’.
I’ll be sharing some personal reflections, pointing you to some resources and inviting you to share with me your experiences of this grand experiment that Mackay and many others have undertaken over the past 2000 years.
Throughout the series I’ll be placing special focus on individual Padgett messages that discuss or share experiences of spirits’ experimentation with receiving God’s Love.
Here are the messages I will be referring to throughout the series:
NB: You can view each of these individual messages now by clicking on the text outlining who the message is from. You can now also view all of the individual messages in date order easily from our site here.
I will spend at least one post focussed on each of these messages.
If you plan to launch in and read or re-read these messages now please shoot me an email if you have any questions about any of them. I’ll try to address these in the individual post referring to the message.
Otherwise there will be the chance to discuss or ask questions in the comments section at the time each post goes up. In fact I hope that you will take the opportunity to discuss your thoughts and feelings about each message here at those times.
My online dictionary tells me that an experiment is: A scientific procedure undertaken to make a discovery, test a hypothesis, or demonstrate a known fact.
To me an experiment is something full of possibility, it means trying something new, hopeful for change. By very nature, it’s a launch into the unknown and that can mean adventure and unexpected beauty.
But lets face it – Trying something new can also bring up a feeling of risk and fear of failure.
Change can feel uncomfortable. And in my experience significant and lasting change almost always feels a little scary, risky and raw. But I’ve learnt to view this as a good thing, as a part of growing.
As my wise soulmate once said “Everytime you feel overwhelmed – that’s your soul expanding”.
So friends, in the coming months as I write about this ‘Great Experiment’ I’ll be keeping all that in mind. I’m setting myself the task of revisiting this ‘experiment’ with new eyes and heart. I’ll be praying for growth, relishing my innate desire for adventure, and reminding myself that all significant change comes not without a little stretching of my comfort zones.
I’m also reminding myself that I was born a great experimenter. To learn how to walk and talk and eat, I had to take leaps of faith, I had to test what I believed would be possible but wasn’t yet sure of.
This relationship with God is yet another step in faith, and I can take it with the enthusiasm of a child or the reluctance of a cynic.
I’ll leave you with some words from one of the world’s most recognised experimenters!
“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” – Albert Einstein
“The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.” – Albert Einstein
And to further put you in the mood here is a talk by my gorgeous man called ‘The Experiment’.
All great and successful experimenters have had to be humble and I can assure you that my man displayed extreme humility in a somewhat hostile environment during this talk.
In Islam it is believed that through intention (niyyah) every act may become an act of worship. And that without pure intention, no act, however exalted or ‘holy’ can qualify as worship.
To me, when our intention is based in Love*, we worship with every breath.
Real love in our hearts sensitises us to those around us.
Love is a living thing, a giving thing. It is not something that resides quietly in the corner of our hearts.
Love is creative by nature. It leads to actions.
Love leads us to take risks with our heart; it leads us to face our personal fears in order to give a gift we value more.
Put simply, love leads us to serve. Whether it is to feed the hungry one beside us on the bus from our own lunch bag, or to lead a revolution against poverty globally, love ignites passion and creativity in us and causes us to want to share what we have in ways that will benefit more than just ourselves.
It seems I have heard so often that love takes sacrifice. Yet the beautiful truth I perceive is that when love truly lives in our hearts, we do not feel sacrifice in our service. We only willingly embrace an opportunity give a gift of love. The love in our intentions gives us sustenance and joy.
When we act in true service, we also worship.
Where there is love and faith, we hold the knowledge that God is Love and that we serve Him even as we serve another.
I may worship Him, not just by loving Him and receiving His Love for myself, but by honouring His Love for allthings and persons.
What a dream, to let Gods Love permeate my life to such an extent that I could honour Him, and serve others, in every breath and act.
Intention and longing must be my first steps to achieve this goal.
In this I know my need for God. If I am to love all things just as He does, I need Him to teach me love.
I am meek in my need.
Yet how beautiful that my desire to love would lead me to find worship and my desire for worship leads me again to my need to learn love.
God, help me to know the true nature of love, in its creativity, its vigour and hope.
Let me have a humble heart so that love may lead me thoughtlessly and joyfully to serve my brothers and sisters.
I pray for the development of my soul so that you may receive my worship, even through the routine acts of my day-to-day life.
A new day was just beginning and I, sitting on the floor of our ecotent, looking out on all the freshness, was reading the Padgett messages….
“Be true to yourself and you will soon be in God’s love and favour…”
The message continued but I found myself drawn to these words. I scribbled them in my journal and kept reading.
Again I paused; I looked back to my journal and circled the first four words in the sentence. These are well worn words in our world, bandied about in all kinds of situations. But now here they were at the beginning of a sentence that Helen had impressed upon her beloved mate. There was something big there that I was missing. I could feel it. It was niggling at the edge of my understanding.
“Be true to yourself…”– no don’t brush these words aside as obvious for their true meaning is huge.
“Be true…” to what you feel right now, surrender to your emotion, embody it, allow it. Don’t act it out, or avoid, don’t analyze or understand it. Just be true.
It hits me, a dawning no less significant than the one unfolding around me.
To know God’s Love I must go to Him in Truth. Go to Him in the truth of what I feel, just be true…
Yes I know you’ve heard all this before. But have you really? I hadn’t understood it – in my marrow. I didn’t feel what it meant deep within me.
Lots of us have heard that we must be in truth to receive the Love but do we go to Him in our messiness and sorrow. How can He connect to us if we do not share ourselves with Him, and how can we relate to Him if we avoid the state of complete humility and honesty about our own selves?
In all of my talking, journaling, channelling, processing and yes, even blogging I’ve been missing the point. I’ve been seeking to figure out my feelings instead of just embodying them while I cry out to God for Love and Grace. This revelation of my own smug self reliance stings me. The sin as old as mankind itself, has kept me in its grips. In all of my struggles to free myself of emotional error I have overlooked the arrogance in the way I am approaching the entire process.
I’ve been trying to sort myself and my feelings out so that then God can Love me, (now this sounds ridiculous but only if I remember that God is a Loving Parent who accepts me just as I am, and I forget that most of the other people in my childhood wanted me to hold it together and sort things out, and they found me far more ‘loveable’ and adorable then).
I haven’t been asking God for Grace or for Love, for I haven’t believed myself worthy of such things. I’ve been asking for Him to help to me feel – pleading and needy sometimes. And yet I’ve been afraid of His Love and of truly opening my heart to share my feelings with Him.
I haven’t understood that I must use my will to feel and He will use His Will to ease my burden.
I realise now that in order to truly heal I must take my whole self to Him and say ‘Here I am, teach me to love myself just as I am. In this precious, imperfect moment of my existence show me I am worthy. Let me feel your Love.’
My fear and desperate desire for control has made me, in my heart (the place where true longing begins) resist His Love because of what it may dislodge in me. I have been guarding my worthlessness from Him.
It occurs to me that this is the true transition to the third sphere, or some big step in love, where I stop trying to ‘figure out’ my emotion, and instead am just willing to surrender to it, whatever it is, and to trust God to heal me of it – through His process, not mine. It is the place in which I am willing to be, just be, in the truth of my emotions (not my addictions) and to experience them, at all times.
It is vulnerability – the lesson of my year – that is required. It is saying to God “I’m terribly afraid that you may reject me but I can’t do this without you. But in order to do it with you I’m going to have to share myself. I’m going to have to ask, really ask for your Love.”
“Man has a will to either accept or reject the Love of God, and until he exercises his will in a way to show that he wants that love, it will not be given him.”
God, I haven’t wanted your Love. I’ve asked for guidance and for courage but I haven’t wanted Love.
I have paid lip service to your Love and haven’t yet yearned for it, in the way of a winsome, lovesick teenager, of a mother for her lost child, of a son for his absent father.. his Father.
I haven’t unlocked the desire that consumes a soul, that is in the heart beat behind every action, present with every word and flavours every minute.
I quake at the thought of unleashing my sheer, unadulterated longing, that my heart may run free and ‘into Your Arms of Love’.
Could I give you my heart God? All the lost and fragile pieces of me, could I offer them up to you? Could I want Your Love so much that I would face all fear and give up all my feeble attempts, these shameful human encounters where I try to earn approval and appreciation, all in an effort to find a substitute for the Love that would fulfill me complete.
In the early dawn, in my dawning, I realize that I have focused on the eradication of sin and error and neglected (because of unworthiness and fear of grief) the inflowing of God’s Love. And now I see that the fastest way to eradicate sin and error is to focus on the Love. The process of emotional, causal release will be the same but it will happen as a natural part of my relationship with God. It is sharing with God in complete humility that changes our soul. When we truly open ourselves God’s Love gives us courage to step into the depths of pain and She takes the cause from us. The gentle surgeon removes the barbs. It is a process with my Maker – not a trial I must endure before I can relate to Her.
It seems to me in our initial unraveling we do and perhaps we must, engage our intellect. God does seem to many of us a far off figure, shrouded in misconception borne of our upbringing and background. We cannot neglect the important work of unhooking from our re-framing and rethinking, and the breaking down of the addictions that have run our lives. This next step though is the substance of the teachings. All of the thrashing around beforehand is just us lost in the bush, trying to orientate ourselves. This realization is suddenly stepping into the clearing and seeing the luminous Path stretch out in front of us. We must each have our awakening of what is truly within us.. just be true.. and be willing to share this self with God.
‘…foruntil such an awakening comes to (the soul) there is no possibility of it receiving the Love of God into to it..’
“When we pray to the Father for an increase in faith, it is a prayer for the increase in Love”
If I block the Love, how can my faith grow?
It ALL depends on the Father’s Love.
I AM NOTHING WITHOUT HIS LOVE.
As I read my notes to Yeshua, he hastens to correct my last statement. It is not true that I am nothing without God’s Love. I can become God’s creation, perfected in natural love. I explain to him that when I wrote the statement I was feeling so acutely how limited I am without this relationship, how insignificant I now am compared to what I once was when His Love made me His child ‘in substance and not in image only’ In my moments of explaining its hard to contemplate how I could even grow in natural love without the Love of God.
And yet in the next breath, I feel the errors of the first human couple still alive within me – this searing, desperate attempt to prove that I am something and someone, on my own, of my own creation. The utter limitation of this state, of trying to have my ego prove its worth, overwhelms me. I’m locked in a futile struggle to prove my value, that blocks the most significant relationship of my life.
Even now, the idea that me, alone;
without doing good works,
without saying smart things,
without showing that I am worthy,
the idea that I am loved and am beautiful without any of these things is so alien. I feel I must make good before He (and he) can love me, before I show myself to Him.
And yet His Love will prove His Love for me.
But I must have humility and openness to receive it.
If I am needy or demanding I won’t receive it. My neediness is a plea that he make it easier so that I may avoid my darkest sorrow. My demand is anger and expectation that I should be able to avoid vulnerability and openness with Him. Instead I must ask ‘with sincere longings and earnest aspiration’, I must truly desire it and be willing to bare my whole self to Him, in recognition that:
“Man is a mere creature and cannot create anything higher than himself; so man cannot rise to the nature of the divine, unless the divine first comes into that man and makes him a part of its own divinity.”
It’s not about saying “God help me feel….”
It is saying “God I feel….”
“God please be with me while I feel.”
“Could you show me your love so that I may have faith enough to step into the darkness?”
It is stopping trying and simply desiring – desiring God, desiring Love, desiring Truth, desiring emotion.
So why am so I afraid to ignite my yearning for God and for Soulmate? So afraid that I hold myself back in the second sphere (and sometimes lets face it, right down in the lower first) – figuring out, analyzing, resisting surrender to the truth of what I feel….
The answer, the reason for my headstrong self-reliance, is that I don’t want to soften into the feelings that for nigh on 2000 years I have relied on a Father of Love. He has guided me. And the love of my mate has nourished me.
I can’t take the next steps until I acknowledge this – that my Mother God sustains me and that my mate, Yeshua, completes me.
I feel so nothing without them. And it feels that I must pass through this abyss of knowing that, feeling that nothing, in order to have them with me again.
I have missed them so much that it terrifies me to crack open the cache of my longing, and have all of my loneliness tumble out with it.
Oh God give me strength…
dare I ask…. show me Love?
This is the narrow way.
It must be through a relationship with God. Until we have this we are not truly on the Path. We are bumbling along, preparing, removing our blocks, until we reach the point where we are ready to openourselves to the greatest, most life-givng Love there is – until we are ready to enter a love relationship with our Creator.
I am humbled to admit to you this morning that I have been dallying all this time, on the Natural Love Path. Yes, I have felt and released some emotions and I have come to know the Father a little. But I am hit like a freight train by the understanding that my growth has been seriously stunted by my unwillingness to ‘ask in a way that shows I want His Love’.
My friends, we must learn what it means to ask Him.
To ask with our hearts,
our whole hearts,
our broken hearts,
our shameful hearts,
the parts of us that don’t feelwhole because in Truth they lack
We must unearth the parts of us left in the shadows and corners and forgotten caverns in our souls so that She may shine the light of Love and Truth upon them.
I saw a book advertised the other day. It is called ‘Made to Crave’ by Lysa Terkeurst. I haven’t read the book but the short blurb I read about it came back to me as I finished writing this post. I think I’ve gleaned her basic premise (apologies to Lysa If I’m wrong) It is this: We are all made to crave God and all of our other addictions with food, (and I would add with television, in relationships, in our work etc, etc), are just distractions and a poor substitute for the Love we crave the most.
If we want to know God, to receive Her Love, we must open up to our craving and know it for what it is. When we do this our addictions will become unsatisfying and meager in comparison to what awaits us. And this craving and desire will inspire us to face our fears, to face our true selves and expose them to the One who Loves the most. When we do, God in all Her Grace, will clean us and teach us Love.
 I want to make a clear distinction here between living in or allowing our emotions and living in addictive emotions. The first is healing, the second is damaging and even more damaging when we tell ourselves and others we are doing the first when we are in fact doing the second. I see many living in addictive emotions and crying non-causal feelings. While we live in addiction we cannot connect to our true emotional state.