Tag Archives: Divine Truth

Introducing Divine Truth Hub

Our friend Nicky just launched his own website and Divine Truth forum.


If you would like to check out these sites the links are now listed in the side bar of this blog and will soon appear on our website.

Nicky has taken a great deal of care in planning and creating this new project.

He has laid out the forum in a way that invites meaningful discussion and the topics are awesome. Both Jesus and I agree that if we were ever going to create a forum ourselves these are topics we would include and we would organize it in a very similar way.

We feel that in creating these sites Nicky is offering a beautiful gift to others.

I believe that many people are hungry for a place where they can go and actually know that the principles of Divine Truth will be upheld there.

We know Nicky personally and he is very sincere about his own progression towards God and is serious about running these online spaces in harmony with God’s Laws. Because of this I feel that there is a great deal of positive potential for people to engage and learn via his forum and website.

I also feel hopeful that his initiative might inspire others to create their own personal projects that champion Divine Truth principles and offer gifts to the world.

**Sidenote: I regularly update the sidebar on this blog to include blogs and sites from other people who I feel are genuinely attempting to engage Divine Truth principles in their lives and sharing their experiences from a humble place.

 

Reflections on Relationships: July Newsletter

Hey everybody,

I was going to start by saying July wasn’t one of our best months. But upon further consideration I think it’s more accurate to say it wasn’t a fun month. It was a month of facing challenges (me), embracing new truth (me), speaking up (both of us), making solid decisions (both of us), and taking positive action in line with the kind of relationships we both desire. So, in reality that is actually very good use of a month of time.

As I wrote this update a definite theme relating to relationships emerged. In fact there are so many lessons and principles illustrated throughout the latter sections on our relationship and family visit that to start with I’m just going to do a quick round-up of general news and offer our thanks to those of you who donated to us in July. Thank you very much; we really appreciate you and your generosity.

Studio

During July most of the finishing touches were added to our new studio. The desks and benches were installed and Lena, Igor and I gave the place a thorough cleaning top to bottom. There are just a few minor jobs sealing up the outside that will be completed this week and then we are ready to move our equipment in.

We will then start the process of testing the sound and may have to create a few sound absorbers to reduce any echo that may be there.

We hope to be operational by the end of August and Jesus and I are really looking forward to creating some regular content for you all. We have SO MANY topics we want to discuss. Even if we talked for 12 hours a day for the next year we still wouldn’t be through all of what we want to catch up on. Needless to say we won’t be talking for 12 hours a day for any period of time so we will just take it slowly and make sure what we do create is of a high quality in terms of content and technical production.

Other Various Updates

Jesus has still not had a chance to do an update to the website but that should occur in August.

We now have 269 clips on our clips channel. These clips are all searchable via the YouTube channel so I hope you find them useful. The tagging on these clips is quite thorough so if you are looking for truth on a certain topic you will find that the search function embedded in the page is very useful. For example, you can simply search words like ‘vegan’, ‘partner relationship’ or ‘return of fourteen’ and you will come up with a variety of clips from different talks where Jesus has discussed these specific topics.

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This nifty screen shot from Lena & Igor shows you where the search function can be found on individual youtube channels. The big purple arrow points to it.

Choosing Our Relationships

As I mentioned in our last newsletter we welcomed many Millers (Jesus’ family) to our home early on in July. They stayed with us for a little under a week and there were some interesting discussions had. It became really clear early on that the other Miller’s desires (apart from those of Tristan) were in line with a lot of small talk and façade and there were definite attempts to control what topics of conversation were allowed. While Jesus and I are happy to chat about what people have been up to, what environmental projects we have going on, and even topics like politics, travel, weather and current events, there are times when we, through the simple expression of being ourselves, bring up issues like emotions, and past family events.

Our guests weren’t happy with that and so in the end at our request they, with the exception of Tristan, left our company a few days early. While I had some personal emotions to feel about their desire to control us and attack Jesus, Jesus and I had some great discussions after this all happened.

We decided that we only want personal relationships with people who:

  • value and embrace humility
  • desire truth and
  • want to love

People who don’t value or want truth live in façade. These people, through their resistance to truth, also exert severe pressure on the people around them to not be truthful about who they are, what they want, and attempt to force people to accept everyone’s façade.

People who don’t want to be humble towards their feelings and who don’t want to love are going to punish the people around them for their unresolved issues, live in addiction and not be concerned about treating others with a lack of consideration, respect or love.

Our desire to only form close relationships with people who have the three qualities I listed above applies irrespective of whether a person is a blood relative, their partner or an old friend. Worldly expectations – familial or otherwise – no longer apply.

Conversely any person, whoever they are or how I meet them, if they are someone who is humble, who speaks truthfully and desires to love then I’m interested to get to know them. They don’t have to share my belief about God, the Universe or even who we are. If someone has those three qualities then, in the context of a relationship, they can be trusted to treat me well or at least work things out without the need for condescension, attack or bullying.

Jesus once talked to me about some of the states we can live in when it comes to expression of self.

One is that we ‘give ourselves away’. When we give ourselves away, we relinquish our personal desires and aspirations in favour of what other people want, we alter our personality to suit our environment and we are compliant to the whims and wishes of others.

Another state is that we ‘be ourselves’. In this state we are real and open about who we are, what we want and what we feel. We don’t force ourselves, or our beliefs upon others but we don’t hide these things either. Being ourselves means giving up our façade and simply expressing our nature through our actions and in our interactions. To be ourselves at all times, with everyone, is loving.

A third state is ‘sharing ourselves’. When we share ourselves we go beyond just ‘being ourself’. Sharing ourselves means desiring and allowing ourselves to be known, sharing what we deeply feel and desire. We can share ourselves in loving, though different ways, through soulmate relationships and friendships.

We are always going to end up in pain if we choose to share, or try to share, ourselves with people who don’t want to know us and who do not love or desire to love us. In other words attempting to share ourselves with someone who can’t be trusted to love us is not taking good care of ourselves. Equally attempting to share ourselves with someone who clearly doesn’t want to know us is only going to lead to disappointment and this kind of desire is usually led by addiction. However, choosing to share ourselves with people who do love us and care about our welfare is very rewarding and encourages growth.

While being ourselves all the time is loving, to be selective and discerning about who we choose to share ourselves with is also a sign of love and development.

So, I have been reflecting on and feeling about these three states of being myself for some time. Having Jesus’ family gathering was a great way to bring a lot of things into clear focus for me. In the wake of it all I’m excited to be even more clear and assertive in my desire to only share myself with those who love, or who aspire to love through being humble and embracing truth.

During the drama we both fell ill with a throat, chest, and head flu. Neither of us has been that sick for years but gladly as we worked through things we got better again.

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Our Soulmate Relationship

Jesus and I have also been working on some relationship issues that I feel really positive about.

I should probably say that we are always working on the betterment of our relationship but at the moment I feel that I am making some key shifts that will drastically improve our individual happiness and unity as a couple. This is where some of my long term resistance has been and it feels great to make some changes and feel the positive difference.

I am beginning to experience the difference between ‘working on emotions’ in order to ‘get through them’ or to ‘solve a problem’ and the true state of surrender.

As I start to understand and even experience the state of surrender it feels a lot like changing from a ‘thinking being’, governed by intellect and analysis, who sometimes has feelings, into being my feelings with thoughts, decisions and aspirations that stem from those feelings. It is the allowance and embrace of all of my emotions, all of the time. Not because it is the ‘right’ thing to do or because I want to ‘deal with something’ but because this is who I truly am – a feeling being, a soul with a body and mind. This is the Way that Jesus has been speaking about for so many years.

It still feels awkward to try and explain it but as nearly as I can put it right now; surrender is accepting the truth that God created me as an emotional being and my wanting to experience myself as such again.

I’ve fought this state for years and years and honestly I observe that almost everybody who hears Divine Truth does this. I’ve come to realise that I’ve been terrified of just how emotional I actually am and I perceived that others would judge and attack this in me. I’ve judged my surrendered state as being a ‘histrionic woman’ who won’t be taken seriously. Ironically I’ve been far closer to histrionics and melodrama in my resistive state than I ever will be in a surrendered state. In fact, surrender is the opposite of being dramatic, emotionally manipulative and over-the-top.

When I allow myself to surrender my passions and aspirations are impossible to ignore. Allowing more of my emotions, without being selective, I find that what I want to do and how I want to create is impossible to ignore. That feels great. I sometimes feel scared – how will others treat me when I embrace my love for God to its full degree? – but in this surrendered state even feeling that fear feels good. I find it ironic since I have been telling myself for years that connecting to myself will be traumatic, only leading me to be sad all the time and to realise that I am a terrible person. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

So, how does my working on all this relate to our soulmate relationship? Well, obviously my resistance to allowing all of myself all of the time has a huge impact on how Jesus and I can connect. It is impossible for us to be emotionally and physically intimate while I am resisting the experience and sharing of my true emotional self. But even more than that, my judgement of the surrendered state which has stunted my own soul growth has also had an impact on Jesus’ personal progression.

My judgement of surrender has caused me to judge Jesus in his surrendered state. I have attempted to control him, a lot of our life, our interactions with each other and with other people in an attempt to prevent my own emotions. I’ve also been quite needy and oppressive, wanting him to share my feelings, validate them, help me avoid ‘making mistakes’ in love and basically tried to consume our life with a focus on me and my resistance. Jesus in an open, emotional state triggers my own emotions which I have wanted to prevent. And I’ve also lived in fear of how both of us would be judged and viewed if we were in a sensitive, surrendered state with other people. I’ve been angry about surrender and withdrawn into my ‘numb’ state again and again in an attempt to avoid the situation. This would lead Jesus to feel that the situation was hopeless and he would have to ask me to either leave or to deal with my emotions.

I would then become all ‘goal orientated’ about ‘getting to’ my feelings which is a completely different thing to choosing to live my life as a feeling being. Because of my resistance, as much as we talked about surrender and the Way, I really didn’t get how wrong I was getting it. I would ‘try harder’ to feel rather than surrendering to feeling all the time.

I am pointing this out because I believe that there is a valuable lesson here. The truth is that a person who is only interested in preventing their own feelings (like I have been) also has no interest in the feelings of others and actively tries to prevent others from feeling their feelings. That’s the truth and that is what I and anyone who resists surrender will do automatically.

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Because Jesus was already in the feeling state – he was a feeling being – when I met him it has been pretty exhausting for both of us living together. In effect I have been fighting my emotional self and fighting him on being himself every day. Whether voiced or not, there has been complete emotional disharmony between each half of our soul. There has been a difference in our states – one of us in a state of desire to live in the soul, the other in a state of desire to control the soul. Jesus has been trying to address this difference with me for the longest time and I’ve been trying to ignore it. I haven’t really wanted to understand it because it challenged my sense of control.

This is a more pronounced effect than that of two people living together who are both resisting surrender. These two people are actually helping each other to avoid surrender and so there is no conflict between their states of being.

Jesus’ sensitivity to my judgement, along with my overt and covert attempts at outright control of him, has made it difficult for him to remain in his previously surrendered state. Because of the extreme amount of pressure I placed on Jesus to conform to my non-feeling state Jesus has found it extremely difficult to feel any emotion while in my company. This has meant us sleeping apart for very long periods throughout our entire relationship, the latest period being 18 months. For Jesus sleeping together has seemed impossible since it feels like there is a soul based argument going on 24×7.

As we continue to work through this issue Jesus has been reflecting on his invitation and allowance of me living with him, in a state so opposed to his own, for so long. He presumed that me saying that I wanted to progress meant that I was desiring to live The Way. When in fact, despite what I may have been telling myself, I have been in direct opposition to surrender.

I have wanted power and control over my emotions and the only way I was going to get that was to have power and control over my partner and to have him feed my addictions. My over riding projection has been ‘don’t do anything that will trigger my emotions’ because I believed that being an emotional being 100%of the time would remove my power and expose me to some sort of harm. In this state I turned every confrontation of my emotions into a competition or a power play. Any person in an unemotional state who wants to stay unemotional will always feel and behave this way. Judgement of and desiring to control our emotions makes us view open emotion and honesty in another as a threat to our value, worth and power.

The truth is that surrender feels like the opposite of powerlessness. It is the end to competition. In this state emotions don’t feel like a sign of weakness but a beautiful experience of self. There is no judgement of what is felt only aspiration to experience it. And through that experience we can heal.

This much is clear; for a loving relationship to survive both parties have to be feeling beings.

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Jesus and I really want to talk about all of this in more detail in future presentations because this change in state is the key to living the Way and knowing God. Although Jesus has spoken about it many times before I notice that just about everyone who has heard Divine Truth is still struggling to even want to make this transition. So I feel that anything we can share that might encourage, inspire and assist people in this area is worthwhile.

Thank you again to everyone who has donated to us over the past month. I feel incredibly fortunate to be able to live my passion to share Divine Truth with the world and each of you help to make that possible.

I hope that you are all experiencing your own growth and changes and that life is rewarding for you.

Until next time, with deep love and gratitude,

Mary

A Super Duper, No Details Spared, Our-Lives-Laid-Bare Update

In sitting down to write an update for you all both Jesus and I realised that perhaps, for reasons you will read about below, our monthly ‘newsletter’ to our regular donators needed to be a little more in depth than usual. And since only a fraction of those who listen to our teachings also donate to us and I was going to be sharing in depth explanations about a lot of things people seem to speculate and wonder about but never ask us directly (which is a separate issue in itself) I decided to make this update a little more public than usual so that more people receive more information straight from the horses mouth as it were.

So here we go! What follows is an inventory of our person projects, spending and progress over the past few months. As is our custom I’ve made this direct and detailed so as to avoid confusion and convey as much accurate information as possible.

Progression of Divine Truth

Since early January we have received of a lot of attack both from people on earth and in the spirit world. These people and spirits have been attempting to stop us from presenting Divine Truth, and are attempting to influence people who have supported us financially and voluntarily in the past to no longer support us in the future. They are also attempting to stop us from being able to receive donations of any kind which included closing down the aj@divinetruth.com Paypal account. Of course, if we do not receive donations this would make our passion to deliver Divine Truth much more difficult for us to carry out. Many people are being influenced to create gossip about us in order to attempt to stop us from presenting Divine Truth. This has included stories and accusations that:

  1. Jesus and I no longer live together, and;
  2. Jesus has met another “Mary Magdalene” and begun a relationship with her, and;
  3. Jesus and I are no longer teaching Divine Truth, and;
  4. Jesus and I have a lot of funds at our disposal and are using those funds unwisely, and;
  5. Jesus and I lie about how we use our funds, and;
  6. Jesus and I do not deserve the donations we receive.

In short, we hear a lot of second hand gossip, rumours, and often, slanderous accusations about us which very few people attempt to verify and incredibly most people seem to believe. We even hear of people who live quite near to us, who could easily check the truth in what they are saying, repeating and spreading lies about how we live, what we do and our relationship. This makes it very clear that the people involved aren’t interested in discussing or discovering truth about us or themselves but rather are driven by unloving emotions and are quite willing to harm, or attempt to harm us, through their words and actions.

In fact, given how transparent and approachable Jesus and I are, no matter where a person is in the world they have avenues to contact us and simply ask us things directly. So, those people who want to engage in idle and often vicious gossip are demonstrating that they don’t really want to know the truth about us at all and instead want to avoid finding out truth and are even willing to resort to creating lies. Frankly, they demonstrate their own true motivations by their actions.

However since we love truth, and since we haven’t done much publicly lately (as you will read further on we have been super busy) I thought that this note might be a good time to dispel some of those rumours and let you know a bit of background as to what we have been doing and why.

Our Personal Life

Although our personal life is really nobody’s business but our own, we are open and transparent about it. This is why we place all of our financial records on the internet. We are also always very open about our own personal emotional and spiritual condition, and our relationship.

Since that is the case, I’d like to say that Jesus and I are still together, and in fact are becoming closer and closer each day as we work through different emotional issues. For the past 12 years Jesus has either been celibate (for 5 years), or has known that I am his Mary Magdalene. He has no intention of having any kind of sexual relationship with another woman. Anybody who truly knows him would know that. He spent a lot of time waiting for me, and, even if I did leave him for any reason, he would not have a relationship with anyone else. I am one lucky, lucky woman with a devoted, compassionate, passionate man. Any claims about him to the contrary are just malicious slander and lies.

We never have photos of the two of us! Here we are at the tube station in England in 2013!! As you can see Jesus doesn't love selfies.

We never have photos of the two of us! One of us is always behind the camera. So here we are at the tube station in England back in 2013. As you can probably tell by his expression Jesus doesn’t really go for selfies.

Jesus and I are still teaching Divine Truth. In fact, even though we haven’t run a group or held a presentation over the last 6 months it has been one of the most busy time periods in our entire time together. Jesus is working around 6 days a week for 10 hours each day on different projects to help the long term delivery of Divine Truth for the next 10 years plus. He hasn’t had much time for his own emotional work, which is something he is attempting to remedy lately.

His day usually begins at 4:30am when he wakes up. He then works on programming projects for the next 3 hours. As anyone who has emailed him knows, he has had very little time to respond to any emails. I have done that for him when I get the chance. From 7-7:30am he usually works either on the studio we are building, or on landscaping around the studio making it ready for visitors. He has personally moved over 20 tonne of rock and sand, along with over 100 cubic metres of mulch – by hand! He’s completed all of the planning and design for the interior and exterior of the studio, the electronic and computing requirements of the studio, along with doing all the investigations and ordering of materials, and answering all of the questions everyone has, as well as almost all of the wiring.

Jesus shoveling

Jesus shoveling

He does our accounts, and handles all legal requirements. He maintains the Divine Truth server, websites, video sync services, and all technology, along with programming applications to speed up the transcription of documents. He keeps all of our computer and related systems up to date, along with doing backups of all Divine Truth material produced. He usually stops work around 4pm, at which time we have our evening meal. We are both usually in bed sleeping by 8pm.

As for myself, I am working on streamlining and standardizing the office and FAQ email accounts and becoming involved with planning and preparation for interviews and FAQ sessions and questions. I handle all business phone calls and appointments, and look after the bookings of all trades persons working on the studio project. I handle planning for all future events. I liaison with volunteers, and arrange and participate in meetings with them so that I can keep a list of what Jesus needs to do to complete his tasks for the volunteers.

In addition, due to the amount of time Jesus is spending on other projects, I am doing all cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, shopping and other general necessary daily activities. I am fortunate to still have some personal time for myself, which has meant that I am working through emotions. Jesus still assists me with that and I am incredibly grateful that he finds the time for it amongst all of his other tasks.

We both miss spending time teaching Divine Truth more actively but are very aware that the projects – physical, emotional and spiritual – that we are working on at the moment are crucial to our ability to do that effectively and efficiently in the future.

Studio Work and Landscaping

As you can see from my comments above, we have heard a lot of gossip and rumours about how we can afford to build our studio and do the needed landscaping work in order for it to be functional.

I will give you a bit of background about how the project began, and how we obtained the funds to complete it. We do not receive enough funds by normal donations to do any structure based infrastructure work (buildings). Any spare funds we receive by donations we would normally spend on technology replacements, overseas travel and accommodation, special Divine Truth projects such as the delivery of materials to third world countries, giving gifts to Divine Truth volunteers, and doing environmental recovery experiments that we can use for gathering information to help others with their environmental work.

In 2014 we were approached by a beautiful friend we know who wanted to give us enough funds to build a larger home for ourselves.

We currently live in a single bedroom home which also doubles as our office, which includes 5 computers, 8 servers and ancillary equipment, and out meeting rooms when we have volunteers and visitors. It is 80 square metres or 860 square feet in size, with a lot packed inside. So space is quite tight. At the moment one shipping container stores many things we really need in the house, kitchen utensils, beds, half of Jesus’ clothes and other things which we are constantly swapping in and out of the container.

Our friend made it clear that she had gifted the money to us personally. She did not want us to spend any of the money on a Divine Truth project. She knows us well enough to know that we usually spend everything we have on Divine Truth projects. (smile)

So we began a lot of preliminary planning to work out what we would need in a home, and drew up some plans.

Concurrent to all this we had been considering another long-standing problem we had had. This was that we were using Lena and Igor’s lounge room in a rented home for the location of our studio, and another two bedrooms of their home for the editing studios. This meant that Lena and Igor, or “Legor” as we call them, did not have the use of their own home, since almost all of it was taken up with our equipment. So when drawing up our “new home” plans we attempted to build in space for a studio in order to solve these problems.

The 'studio' in Legor's living room

The ‘studio’ in Legor’s living room

However, it soon became apparent that, besides our friend offering the funds only for our personal use, that;

  1. We had an increasing problem with the location of the studio and editing rooms at Legor’s home. Varying weather and temperatures precluded recording and editing at certain times of year, there were very often sound and noise problems, all along with the fact that it was always only meant to be a temporary arrangement, and
  1. Having a dedicated studio was becoming increasingly important for many reasons. For example we could see that with a studio our time and energy would be saved from setting up and dismantling the equipment. This would mean we could focus more time on preparation and delivery of Divine Truth material to benefit the world. We could remove the studio and editing facilities from a rented home. But we needed to create a recording and editing environment that could be used all year round and that was stable in terms of noise and sound, and
  1. We would need to build a shed which would store and protect a lot of the sensitive building materials and equipment before either the house or the studio projects could begin, and
  1. We did not have enough funds to complete a home and adequate studio together, and
  1. The studio alone would probably be a similar effort and cost to building a complete home, and
  1. The house would have to be built after the studio due to the location of the studio and house on our land if we separated the two structures.

Due to these problems, we went back to the friend who offered us the funds and discussed these issues with her. We stated that we could not build our house at this time, due to the issues with requiring a studio. We offered to return her funds to her if she could not agree to our using this money that she had gifted to us personally to build the studio and get it operational for recording.

She agreed to allow us to loan the funds to the Divine Truth business in order to build the studio.

Editing equipment and filming set-up in Lena & Igor's home

Editing equipment and filming set-up in Lena & Igor’s home

In order to complete the preliminary requirements of a storage shed, we also borrowed $77,500 additional funds from another friend. We budgeted that we could afford repayments on this loan from our usual donations and the shed would provide a place where we could store all of the materials we needed for the other structures out of the weather.

The shed was our first building project, and all people who worked on the shed were paid wages. No volunteer effort was involved. We still owe $60,000 on the loan, which we are now attempting to pay off (but this of course depends upon the size of our normal donations).

So, all of the work on our property that we have completed over the past twelve months has been enabled by the personal gift of one single person, the loan we acquired from another, and our desire to share Divine Truth with the world rather than use funds for our personal welfare.

Any spare funds from Divine Truth donations we had received from July to December have been going towards assisting paying some wages for workers and contractors working on building the studio. Of course, wages alone far exceed the donations we received during the period, and so the main source of funds to pay for wages and materials have come from the gift we personally received from our generous friend.

We have now run out of money to pay wages and so for the past three months, we have had 4 other people volunteering their time on the studio. We were paying them until December, but we did not have enough money after that to purchase the final materials for the project and continue to pay wages. Cornelius (David Walsh) has been the project leader and builder, and he has been volunteering his time since November (nearly 6 months). Vlad Klobucar, although no longer working here, volunteered one month of his time this year after we could no longer pay him. Igor (Shakhanov) continues to volunteer his time, both on video editing and studio work plastering and construction, and he has been solidly working on the studio for the past 3 months as a volunteer. Robert Griffiths has volunteered to complete all of our painting, which will take approximately 4 weeks of his time.

The workers at morning tea break

The workers at morning tea break

Donations

Normal donations generally just cover Divine Truth operations and our own personal expenses. We currently do not receive enough general donations to regularly give money to our volunteers, or to do major infrastructure work related to the delivery of Divine Truth such as the provisioning of servers and other technical services, or to build.

At the moment, expansion of our services is dependent upon one-off donations or gifts. In the past these have come from a maximum of 5 different sources (families or individuals) and have been large enough to cover these more costly services and infrastructure. If it wasn’t for the significant donations mentioned we would not be able to complete the studio and Jesus or I would need to obtain work elsewhere in order to do so, and to do other technical infrastructure for the delivery of Divine Truth worldwide.

At the moment Lena and Igor aren’t receiving enough donations to live on, and they have been looking for work locally. Once the studio is complete, if they are still not receiving many donations they will have to continue working elsewhere. Obviously, this will significantly affect our ability to continue the process of video editing to the degree we have in the past.

Jesus has spent a lot of time over the past months streamlining Divine Truth operations. We have cancelled one of our Divine Truth servers in order to save some funds. Another friend, Eugene from the USA, has setup a backup server for us, and this has taken over the operations of the second server that we cancelled.

We had many problems with a previous server provider. They totally deleted our entire server for no reason whatsoever, which completely stopped the website, our emails, and other operations. They then refused to communicate with Jesus about the problem for two weeks, and then made it very difficult for Jesus after that to reinstate the services. As a result, Jesus had to find another company with better support (iWeb in Canada), and then migrate all of the servers contents which he had backed up to the new location.

This was happening at the same time that he was making a major modification to the website, which is the first stage of our plans to build a database into the website, which will allow for a search engine. It was very busy and he was juggling a lot of things at once. At times like those I see how beneficial it is that he is always so thorough with procedures and back-ups. Without that it would have been a problem that took up far more time than the already enormous amount that it did.

As a result of these problems, Jesus developed a system so that we no longer need to rely upon our content server for email and website operations. Email and website are now with larger scaled enterprises, which means that we have less maintenance and these services are much faster than before, but the recurring costs for these services are higher. It also means that the content server now only serves content for our synchronization services, which allow you to download all of our material and websites onto your own computers for free.

During this period, Paypal also shut down our main receiving account for donations, and since we have had no other mechanism setup to receive overseas donations, from January we were without a large percentage of our donations. This meant that Jesus had to develop new methods of receiving donations. Sorting out these donation problems has taken a significant amount of Jesus’ time, since many donation methods either were not legal in Australia, did not operate in Australia, or the approval processes were under so much spirit influence that we struggled to receive replies from certain service providers – let alone approvals!

However we have now found 6 methods of donation that are the only ones possible for us to use. Four of these have already been placed on our website in the donate section. Jesus is currently working on the other two.

We have seen loads of wildlife around lately. This beautiful carpet python made its way along the front of the house and onto the break table outside our kitchen while all of us were chatting and working one day.

We have seen loads of wildlife around lately. This beautiful carpet python made its way along the front of the house and onto the break table outside our kitchen while all of us were chatting and working one day.

New Methods for Donation

So we wanted to let you know that we now have a number of new options available for people wishing to make donations to us. Jesus redesigned the donations page on the website and it now has very informative drop down menus that let you select from various donation methods and indicate what you would like your donation to be used for.

The page also provides information about each of the donation methods including minimum and maximum transfer amounts, fees charged etc.

We know that many people liked the convenience of using PayPal and we have left my PayPal account listed (mary@divinetruth.com) as an option for people who would like to continue to use this method.

We now transfer any donations made to this account very regularly so as to avoid any future risk of money being held there by PayPal should they choose to freeze that account as well.

For those concerned about the donations that they made to the Divine Truth PayPal account aj@divinetruth.com after the account was frozen by Payal during the period between 2nd January 2015 and 27th February 2015: PayPal has informed us that those funds are frozen for a 6 month period after which we will be able to withdraw them. So we will be able to get those funds, which are all related to donations for assistance groups in North America or Europe, sometime after July 27th 2015.

It was always Jesus’ usual practice to transfer funds from that account very regularly in the past however since we had started to receive donations towards covering the cost of International Assistance Groups this meant that some extra accounting (international money conversions) and specific transfers to separate accounts were required each time we made a transfer. Because of that it became much more time efficient to transfer out and do all of the extra accounting for the groups once a month. That is why donations from a four week period were frozen rather than a single day or couple of days.

Seminars & Groups

At the moment we don’t have any current plans for Divine Truth seminars however we are always eager to talk about Divine Truth with people who are interested and open hearted about God, love and spiritual growth.

We haven’t heard from many people recently who are expressing a sincere desire to attend a group or seminar which is why (apart from the fact that we are very busy with building the studio) we haven’t made any plans for one.

For a long time we have had expressions of interest open via Eventbrite pages to hold seminars in various places in Australia and overseas. I recently cleared out all of the old registrations so that we can get a better idea of the current interest levels in hearing us speak in regional locations. I’ll be monitoring these pages more closely over the coming couple of months. So if you feel you would sincerely like to hear us speak in your area you can visit the Divine Truth page on Eventbrite and register.

Of course, as usual, our ability to be able to visit any location depends upon our available funds so we can’t guarantee to visit your area but we would definitely like to know where people are who would like to hear us speak, especially if you are very enthusiastic. That way we can keep a possible event in mind when we receive enough donations to consider it.

If you are interested in helping to host or organise an event in your area you can get in touch with me via office@divinetruth.com.

We are still receiving donations towards the possibility of holding Assistance Groups in North America and Europe. You can find further details about these groups along with regularly updated running totals of donations received so far and the total amount needed to fund our expenses to hold these groups on this blog on the International Assistance Group page.

So that is a big update from us that hopefully helps those interested to understand how we manage things, what we have been up to and how we have been able to undertake our new big project building the studio. I’ve heard from a lot of people that you are enjoying seeing the progress photos of the building and so we’ll continue to add them as we go.

Thank you again to all of you who donate to us. I feel immensely blessed to be able to do what we do and I know that each of you make that possible.

Hope to see you at a talk or group later in the year!

The guys put in the hanging ceiling in the studio

The guys put in the hanging ceiling in the studio

Living In Fear & the Freedom to Choose Differently

The sad truth is that the entire world’s population lives in fear in some or all aspects of their lives.

Some of us acknowledge some of our fears some of the time. But seeing our fear doesn’t mean that we deal with it healthily. In fact, most of us feel justified in our fears and demand, be it covertly or overtly, that our environment and the people in our lives make allowances for our fear driven limitations.

Then there are those of us who live in complete denial of large amounts of fear about any number of things at any given time. Denial is a perceived sanctuary and many people reinforce the barricades of the castle and pull up the drawbridge over which truth may have passed. Routines and addictions mask any sensation of fear, numbness becomes the norm, and even though the supposed ‘sanctuary’ can feel cold and damp at times, the real issue of fear is never mentioned and life is branded as normal.

We deny or diminish what scares us because in our souls we are actively resisting and suppressing the sensation of fear. This is how we choose to use our will.

And to aid us in the quest for avoidance we choose and create addictions, and attract relationships to help us navigate our days and unless we are sensitive or aware we rarely notice that the way we are, the way we do, the way we be is less about our real self and more about the escape from fear.

This willingness to live in fear is an affliction that inhibits growth on a global scale. It removes us from our true selves, it creates illness and suffering, it limits joy and discovery. And yet, I notice that most of us, when faced with this simple truth, wish to deny responsibility for our choice in this matter. We might acknowledge the affliction but want no part of the cure.

We resist the truth that living in fear and its multitude of negative consequences has come about through the exercise of our own free will.

What Does It Mean “Living in Fear”?

Living in fear or living by fear is very different to feeling our fears.

living in fear

Living in fear means that we allow the fear within us to guide and dictate our actions, our interests, our relationships, our work, our pleasure, the clothes we wear, the food we eat, the programme we watch on TV.

Every action, inaction, decision and indecision is made with the direct purpose of preventing the experience of fear. In other words, we are constantly responding to fear rather than simply allowing ourselves to experience it as a feeling. Fear becomes our evil task master – literally.

It is very difficult to know and discover our true selves when we live in fear since in this state our desires are limited to things that do not trigger fear. What we commonly associate with the sensation of ‘happiness’ is actually a lot more to do with a sense of relief at avoiding fear and having addictions met than any pure experience.

The truth is that as we suppress fear we simultaneously strangle desire and most of us, most of the time, prize the avoidance of fear above the exploration of our wildest dreams and deepest passions. We rarely pause to consider what we would be interested in or inspired by if fear was not a daily part of life.

And while living in fear can come to feel routine and normal it actually requires a great deal of vigilance, effort and control. Whether we realise it or not, when we live in fear all our systems are alert and geared towards its prevention. We walk through life sapped of our vitality and never experience our full potentials for energy and creativity.

Living in fear ages us and limits us. But even more than that, because we honour its prevention above anything else, fear becomes our God, our ruler, the dictator who drives our decisions and assessments. In this state, we are apt to abandon morality and ethics and even rational thought if it means that we can allay fear. In other words, unless we are willing to be humble to the feeling of fear we will become horrible, unloving people when fear is triggered.

Living in fear damages not only ourselves but the world and the people around us. It is the reason we stand idly by when bad things happen. It means we bow to the threats of people who are clearly unloving, thus lowering our own condition and the potentials for love in the immediate environment.

The nursing and retaining of fear is one of the major causes of all evil and unloving behaviour in the world.

Living in fear keeps us silent and inactive when love would compel us to speak and to act.

Living in fear means we begin to prefer error to truth.

While we justify not feeling fear we are automatically going to be unloving and contribute to the evil in the world in our daily activities and through our interactions with others.

There is always a choice between humility to fear and the resistance to and suppression of it. And each time we choose suppression and resistance we employ means, methods and emotions that are out of harmony with love to do it. We purposefully choose to use our will to NOT love, to NOT be ethical, to NOT be truthful, to NOT be moral, and each time we do this we are seeding evil on this planet.

Unfortunately we do this everyday.

And when we commiserate with fear and make allowances for the fear in others we only continue to foster conditions that lead to more evil and suffering.

contributetoevil

Signs We Are Living In Fear

  • We structure our lives to avoid situations that challenge us physically, emotionally or spiritually
  • We avoid situations and people that challenge our belief systems
  • We feel disconnected from our personality
  • We feel tired often
  • We get angry when challenged or things change unexpectedly
  • We are controlling of people or our environment
  • We lament our ‘inability’ to do things, to create, or to feel our feelings
  • We sense fear and get angry or we sense fear and go rigid or freeze
  • We suppress our desires. We might say things like “I don’t know what my passions are”, “I’m not sure what I truly desire or want from life”.
  • We discuss our fears frequently
  • We expect others to make allowances for our fears
  • We justify unloving behaviour due to our ‘special circumstances’ when we become afraid
  • We have difficulty making decisions. We procrastinate. We deny the need for action in our lives, we resist change.
  • We make jokes about our fears or the fears of others. We make fun of people who display fear.
  • We obsess about how others view us or how people feel about us.
  • We judge people or situations often
  • We stay busy – we resist spending time with ourselves doing nothing
  • We can’t be ourselves in front of groups of people – instead we resort to façade or we freeze up
  • We use as many addictive behaviours as possible
  • We live in denial and resort to wishful thinking about our progress and personal development.
  • We seen reassurance often
  • We distract ourselves from our true fears by inventing ‘fears’ we feel we can manage (emotions of self-deception)

Note: There are many more signs that could be added to this list. These are just some examples.

Denial

Most of us are in denial of just how many things frighten and terrify us.

I used to exist largely oblivious of what frightened me. I just didn’t think about it, instead I acted to avoid it and I had addictions that helped me do that.

Coming out of denial can happen as we attract events that make it impossible to deny fear any longer, like say meeting your soulmate who is Jesus (smile).

Or we can take a more pro-active approach by examining our lives truthfully.

We can for example look for three key flags that point to our living in fear:

1. Avoidance

This includes physical avoidance of situations, people and events. It also refers to (perhaps) less obvious avoidances which include every attempt we make to minimise, justify and shift the blame in relation to our fear.

2. Attempts to control & manipulate

This includes control and manipulation of our environment, other people, our children, animals, and spirits. Any time at all that you have the desire to control or influence the will of another away from what they truly desire you are acting in fear rather than feeling it.

3. Anger

This includes any sense of frustration, annoyance or irritability all the way up to outright rage, verbal and physical violence.

Examine the situations, habits, events and relationships which you either avoid, attempt to control or that trigger your anger. In every case you will find that you are living in a fear.

 

signsoflivinginfear

Awareness – It’s Not Enough

We can live in fear and avoid all awareness of our feelings by meeting addictions and controlling our experience and environment. But even after gaining an awareness of our fears, we can continue to live in them if we carry on doing as they command.

We can be aware that we are afraid of certain things but if our physical and emotional choices are still motivated by the desire to prevent the actual confrontation of fear no soul change has occurred. We will continue to live in fear unless we begin to make choices to challenge the messages fear gives us.

I notice many people who say that they have decided to ‘feel their emotions’ are still basing their life choices on fear – which demonstrates that they are not yet challenging their fears. The scope of their lives, limited by fear’s dictate, does not expand and this is proof of living in fear.

Another way I notice many of us not shifting into releasing fear is that we begin to have a sensation of fear or anxiety, but then not let it overwhelm us completely.

Many people live in a constant state they call feeling afraid but are actually just living in fear.

In reality they have slight sense of the feeling, allow it for a little while, feel it’s ‘all too much’ or ‘that’s enough now’ and then do one of two things:

1. Act to suppress it by controlling external circumstances or people
e.g. changing the subject, distracting oneself with a chore or the internet, leaving a situation

2. Shut Down the emotional sensations of fear internally in an attempt to manage or control its expression and prevent overwhelm
e.g. becoming harsh and judgemental of the experience of fear, panicking, intellectually attempting to analyse what the fear is about

While we try to keep the feeling at bay like this we aren’t truly experiencing it and therefore fear won’t dissipate.

While it’s important to recognise the problem of fear and even write a fear list, don’t kid yourself that self-awareness means soul changes. Becoming more aware of our fears and deciding to ‘feel our emotions’ doesn’t mean that we have stopped living in fear.

Really Releasing Fear

First things first, these things are essential:
1. Stop kidding yourself that you are dealing with fears if your life and relationships remain the same
2. Notice how often and in what ways your actions, decisions and opinions are guided by fear

Then in order to change, start to do the opposite of what fear commands, seek ways to challenge fear and, surrender to the experience of the fear that comes as a result.

In order for fear to dissipate it must be experienced emotionally. There are no shortcuts.

Here are some words from my soul mate on this matter:

“I have had to process through a lot of fear myself. My fears were intense, and many times I thought that the effect of it would kill me. But I always felt relief after my experiences. I learnt that we need to do a number of things if we want to get through fear:

1. Always allow the experience of it.

2. Do not go ‘out of body’, do not go away from the experience, do not try to run away. Going ‘out of body’ only allows spirits to take over the body, and running away only increases the fear.

3. Deep breathe all of the time during the experience. Never stop breathing diaphragmatically. This assists you to stay in your body.

4. Have faith in God, and pray for God’s assistance to not only stay in your body, but also to help you go through the experience. Always pray from your heart.

I found that when I did these things, I always got through the fear, even though the pain was very intense, and lasted up to 4 hours at a time, and sometimes longer. Also, once I was through the experience, I allowed myself to sleep, and I looked after myself. Because I allowed the experience, the next experience was always shorter. If your next experience is not shorter, then you are doing one of the above things incorrectly.”runningaway

Understanding the Power of Choice

Fear when left unchallenged pervades our life.

By living in fear we are agreeing to the lie that we really do have things to be afraid of and that love is not the most powerful force in the Universe.

Sadly, the more we tell ourselves these falsehoods and live our lives according to them, the more fear grows.

By avoiding dealing with fear we are avoiding the potentials that love and truth can bring to our lives and to our planet.

Conversely, as soon as we stop living in fear, it will begin to loosen its hold on our lives. We begin to feel more freedom and joy. We make room for Truth.

As we begin to experience fear this liberates our true self and opens up our heart to desire and possibilities previously subdued.

godisreadytohelp

To overcome fear I believe it is necessary for each of us to recognise the individual power for change that God has granted us through the gift of free will. We can harness that gift, and use our will to love.

In fact, it is only through the engagement of our will in opposition to the fear that we currently allow to govern our planet and our lives, that deep, true and lasting fulfilment becomes possible. And through this same use of will we cease supporting the fear in others, which actually assists them towards the possibility of personal fulfilment as well.

Fear fights for itself, it justifies inaction, and it makes us experts at excusing our lack of love. Unless we challenge fear and the hold we’ve given it over our lives, we have no hope of change.

Even the smallest choices made in fear send ripple effects that impact not only ourselves but our environment, our children and those people around us and carry on for longer and in more ways than we can currently conceive of. And each time we make these fear-based choices we reinforce fears commands, we live in the lie and we create more inertia to challenge and confront when we do finally decide to choose love.

We are exercising our will to make choices in relation to fear minute by minute, day by day. The cessation of life lived in fear does not depend on any external circumstance, event or person. It is in our hands alone and depends upon only one thing – the personal choice to cease listening to fear and instead to use our will in the direction of love, truth and ethics. Without making courageous choices that grow integrity to principles such as these, feeling emotions is not only useless but the emotions felt are not those which will heal us.

Yet when we are willing to be steadfast and humble as we challenge fear, emotions will begin to flow from us. Change will happen.

I encourage you to examine your choices- these precious expressions of will. They can be your catalyst for change and growth or simply a manifestation of excuses made to live in fear.

The Existence of Hell

“You have been reading a book which is not true for there are no hells as described in it, where mortals after passing into the spirit life have to undergo such sufferings and torments. There are no such places as described in the first part of the book. You need not believe that there are any such places of punishment for the evil spirits. God loves all His children too much to have them pass through such experiences as are in that book described.

 My observations of the condition of the wicked shows me that they must all suffer before they can be relieved from the burden of their sins, and have a place where happiness, even to a smallest degree, is obtained; but when they have become truly penitent and seek the saving Power and Love of God, they will always find it.”

Ann Rollins, 08 Jan 1915

Over the past six months, Jesus and I and others have been filming clips for the Frequently Asked Questions Channel.

I’m loving it.

Back in April we focused on questions from Christians. I am so grateful for these questions and the chance to participate in generating useful answers to them.

One FAQ I particularly enjoyed was about the existence of hell.

In fact I was enjoying the discussion so much, I actually forgot that I was supposed to be the interviewer and just generally joined in with chatting. So, I talk a lot more in this clip than I usually would!

If you’d like to check out more clips on the topic of the hells – here’s a link.

If you would like to read more Padgett Messages about the truth of conditions in the hells, and the possibility of all souls to move through them, see the links below:

19150108A Ann Rollins – Nature of the hells, closing of the Celestial Heavens

19161119A Paul – Hell what it is and what it is not Part 1

19161120A Paul – Hell what it is and what it is not Part 2

19161121A Paul – Hell what it is and what it is not Part 3

19161126A John – No-one will suffer in hell for all eternity

19161213B Elias – Discusses the concept of eternity in Hell

Solomon {The Great Experiment Series}

** this post has been updated

The Greatest Experiment

If the physical universe is striving towards order, could not it also be the case that the other parts of the universe, not seen by man, the spiritual and soul parts, the other dimensions proven by mathematics to exist, are also striving towards complete order and harmony, not just in a physical context, but also in a moral and spiritual context?

Would it not make sense that if we desire to know the truths about these things as yet unseen by the eyes of most people in the material world, our highest priority should be to find out how to go about contacting the Source of such things, the Creator of this universe?

To contact Him, all we need do is have a soul longing for His Love, and, if that longing is sincere and we have a desire to experience emotions, then our Father’s Love will flow into us, and we shall feel it. Finding God is simplicity itself, so simple in fact that the majority of mankind, mortals and spirits, overlook the only method we have of ever finding Divine Truth, which is made possible by two things; the sincere desire of a man to seek for and feel God and His Love (which we call Prayer), and the overwhelming Passion of God to give all His Children His Love, and have all of His Children come to know Him and experience the joy and happiness of Living in His Love.

This is the Greatest Experiment, and when any person tries it, the experiment often begins tentatively, but ends in complete certainty. God is Reality, and the Love and Truth that comes from Him is Real. When we try the Greatest Experiment, we at that time also begin to live in Reality.

So my brothers and sisters, live in Reality, in our Father’s Love, seek for it, and desire it above all else. Seek first His Love, and all the other things will be added to you.

Although the contents of this message may be well known to you, I hope that you have enjoyed a reconsideration of this information.

With love from your brother,

Jesus

The text above is an excerpt from ‘The Greatest Experiment’, a document written by my gorgeous soulmate some years ago. If you would like to read it in full, click here.

*******

Now without further ado, as promised in my previous post, here is the latest message in the Great Experiment Series:

A message from Solomon, received by James Padgett, 20th April, 1916

What is the greatest thing in all the world?

Prayer and faith on the part of mortals; and Love – the Divine Love – on the part of God. The latter is waiting, and the former causes it to enter into the souls of men.

No other truths are so great and momentous to men.

Let what I say sink deep into your memory, and try the experiment. I know you do try, but try and then try and never cease trying. Love will come to you and with It faith, and then knowledge and then ownership.

I could write for a long time, yet, but I must not as you are tired.

So with my love and blessings, I will say good-night, and may the Father’s Love take possession of you.

Your brother in Christ,

SOLOMON

We discuss this message and the prayer for Divine Love in the clips below:

For further discussion of the Prayer for Divine Love see this document, or this playlist on our youtube channel.

If you would like to read all of the posts in the “Great Experiment” series – click on the “Walking the Way” tab above, then on “Relating to God”, and finally “The Great Experiment”.

Scroll to the bottom of the page and read bottom to top for posts in chronological order.

On Sharing the Wonderful {The Great Experiment Series}

solomon sky

I’ve often jokingly said to others that I’m the poster girl for ‘What not to do’ on the quest for Divine Love.

I certainly lived in rebellion for a long time after I met AJ again, and I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes along the way. Most of these I’ve spoken about publicly, at seminars and on video recordings. I’ve never been proud of my troubles and unlovingness, but I’ve always felt passionately that, if my sharing could help someone else avoid the mistakes I’d made, then I wanted to speak up about it.

I’ve told most of you my deepest shames and biggest errors. It hasn’t always been easy but my feeling that it was important pulled me through.

That is why lately, I’ve felt strange and somewhat mystified as I’ve sat to write about my personal experiences with the Great Experiment. I find myself shaky, and emotional, and at a loss for words.

Its strange because this time – the news is all good.

God is showing me so many things through prayer.

……  I …..

There I go again, all teary and lost for adjectives to tell you how amazing this journey is turning out to be.

At first I thought my troubles with writing were because I don’t think its quite possible to put the power and beauty of God into words. Which is of course true.

But that didn’t really explain the difficulty, since the things I want to share are not so much about God but the personal changes I’ve experienced though engaging the Great Experiment in its simplicity and with sincerity.

So I’ve been praying about the problem and have come to the following, humbling recognitions:

I’m embarrassed by my hope, my faith and my passion for God.

I’ve found a deep well of judgement bearing down on the childlike feelings in my heart for God and His Love. So much so that it seems to have the power to stop some words dead in my mouth, or on a keyboard.

Basically, I’m so passionate about the beauty and possibility that a relationship with God offers every single one of us that I’m afraid of being judged as childish and naive. So I skip ahead and judge myself.

The thought of sounding all sweetness, light and no substance, also bothers me.

This realisation led me to immediately pray the fervent prayer:

‘Please never let me explain things in terms that people can’t understand, in airy fairy language or using vague sentiments. Let me always be real, and clear and practical.’

No sooner had I prayed my desperate prayer, than I remembered about a zillion times when, through a lack of confidence or in a state of nervousness (read: sheer terror) or simply because I just didn’t get the lesson at hand myself, I’ve done exactly that. That is, I’ve been vague, spoken in half sentences and danced around the truth with the wistful hope that people will read between the lines and miraculously extrapolate what I mean.

Not to mention the times when I’ve been all caught up in what I like to call my ‘poetry of pain’ injury. The poetry out of pain injury is somewhat embarrassing to me, and has its roots far, far back in my family line. It looks a lot like ‘valiantly suffering for a cause’ and/ or ‘living in the drama of the hardship’ rather than just having a good old-fashioned cry about it and moving on. It’s about romanticizing sadness and metaphorically making very bad Shakespearean ‘poetry’ out of the pain. At those times I’ve actually displayed the path and the truth about emotions just completely wrong.

So bummer for me (and you who tried to understand what on earth I was on about at those times). I’m trying to mend my ways.

But most of all I’ve found that I’m afraid of people trying to punish me for my joy.

Holy Toledo, did that one come out of left field. Definitely an emotion that deserves some more attention from me. As yet, its still very raw and mysterious.

I tell you – this Great Experiment is the gift that keeps on giving. Engaging it and then attempting to tell you about it, has opened me up to so many emotions.

I’m learning awesome things, and I’m receiving Divine Love.

For the first time in five years I feel at peace with my life.

(There you go – I got some of that out).

Anyway, the real reason I’m writing today is to introduce to you the next in our series of discussions of Padgett Messages that fits into our Great Experiment series.

The message we discuss is from Solomon, and its my favourite. In fact, I was so moved by this message and our discussion that we had to stop tape twice so that I could go and have a sob in Lena & Igor’s loo. Seriously.

However, since I seem to have prattled on so much about my own injured stuff in this post, and I don’t want to mar the beautiful tone of the actual message and video discussion, I’ve decided to post the video links in a separate post.

I know that might seem crazy but Solomon needs his own space.

Check out his simple yet awesome message, in full, in the next post.

God is a DJ {The Great Experiment Series}

A while ago I was excited to read this comment from Markus on one of my blog posts.

Dear Mary, .. Recently I started meditating each morning and evening, focussing on my emotions and praying to god about sharing some truth with me. While I still don’t feel the connection to god very much, I was able to process quite some emotions and in my experience, my heart opens up through this process, opening myself towards the large and small gifts, even if they are just events triggering other emotions 🙂 XO Markus

I love to hear that people are trying the Great Experiment regularly.

For myself, opening my heart up to ask for God’s Love never fails to have a big impact – regardless of whether I receive the Love or not. Through the very act of asking my will and heart have reached for something higher and beautiful and this does effect my soul.

Here are some of the questions I’ve been asking and finding answers for as I engage the ‘Great Experiment’ lately:

“What beliefs do I have about God that stop me asking for the Love?”

“What beliefs do I have about myself that stop me asking for the Love?”

“What stops me longing for the Love all the time?”

*********

In the Padgett messages we hear from spirits who show perseverance in their prayer life. For example, Riddle shares:

And, when I learned that prayer was the only way to this Love, and saw you praying for me with all your heart and in great earnestness, I commenced to pray also; but I must confess that my prayers were not accompanied with much faith. But I continued to pray, and every night when you prayed for me and for the many others who were with you praying, I tried to exercise all the faith possible and prayed for more faith.

This continued for some time, and one day your grandmother……. She assured me that if I would only try to believe, and pray to God to help me believe, He would answer my prayers; and I would soon find that with my earnest efforts, faith would come to me, and with faith would come this Love into my heart, and with this Love would come happiness and joy.

So I listened to her, and tried to believe that what she told me must be true, and that she was interested in me and desired only my happiness. I continued to pray, …..

At last, light came to me, and with it, such an inflowing of Love as I never dreamed could exist, either in the earth or in the spirit world. But it came to me and I felt as if I were a new spirit, and such happiness came as I never experienced before.

The Great Experiment clearly requires patience and perseverance as we develop real faith.

**************

I asked David, who blogs here, to share something about his experience with The Great Experiment.

He wrote back telling me.. I thought I’d try the experiment for now rather than a previous experience. Like I need an excuse 🙂

I love that he went for a new experience of the Great Experiment. Here’s what he had to share. (I used one of David’s last reflections as inspiration for the title of this post).

davewall

My experiment – by David Wall

For me, I’m a bit convoluted I suppose but I often don’t feel myself and writing helps me. I write about how I feel and I feel those feelings subsequently, so its a roundabout process but for me it helps. I write to myself, I write for others in mind and often I write to God.

Here I wanted to undertake the great experiment as a writing and feeling process. I read the quote from the Padgett messages and wrote to God, as honestly as I could:

———————

“If there be a God, and if that God has a love for me, and is ready to fill my soul with that love and make me happy and full of light, and whether I receive that love or not depends upon my will, then if this is all true, I will that God give me this love with all my strength and desire”

I can feel you there God, I’ve always felt you there to some extent. I know I’m still afraid. Afraid of how people will see me, afraid to really open up to you – what that would mean? Would I lose control? Will people say I’m mad?

I do want to feel your love, your light, your warm embrace but you know I struggle. I struggle every day, I struggle to look after myself, to love myself, to open up my heart fully and love others.

I don’t know how to change, I don’t know how it is you have so much faith in me, sometimes I just feel broken and so needy and so afraid.

I want to open still to you even though I can feel all my sadness, I have faith in you because of the undying faith you have in me. I have faith in your way, the process you’ve laid forth for me right now.

[here I was sobbing for a while]

So now I feel more open, I can’t stop laughing, I feel my heart is full, fuller and at peace. I feel that truth can be known here, any truth felt as a feeling between us, and with that you show me the way.

———————

So then I got out of the car and I went for a walk in the park, it was dark being about 5am in the morning. I felt a subtle but powerful feeling, like a lightness but I also felt really grounded, at peace and happy.

I asked a few things and could feel the answer. Like I asked about the OPPT and I felt the answer that God’s plan is in absolutely everyone and everything softly leading the way towards love, but what’s important is our own personal process as God’s plan is in our hearts, so that is where change is born. I asked about my life and relationship and felt it was important to be stedfast, be honest with myself and just allow things to unfold rather than looking for something to “fix things”. Then I shared a joke. It was about how funny it is that I get all arrogant when by comparison, God who created myself, everyone and the whole universe, is by far the most unassuming, and humble of anyone. So I kind of laughed at the concept that sometimes I think I’m better than others for whatever reason, knowing that its a ludicrous concept.

For a while I sung out some soppy hits, which I’m getting into lately like “love will bring you back to my arms – Taylor Dane” but I sought of made my own lyrics because I don’t know the right ones. I sung then John Lennon’s “Yesterday” and felt a much clearer, funner and more powerful voice than the attempts before.

I got back to the car, still feeling at peace but also energised. I put on the radio and started crying – it was Missy Higgins “the special two” then Robbie Williams, “Betterman” was on and the lyrics where so spot on for me.

The crying however was not a painful feeling but more like an acknowledgement, that “I understand God, and thank you”. Because it felt like God had a playlist waiting for me, as it was really really spot on for me.

That’s how my little experiment went.

Operation ‘Get Present’

It was sometime last year that I finally had to concede that I really did have a hard time staying present and connected with emotions and my bodily sensations on a day to day, moment to moment basis.

I can’t remember exactly when I realised how pervasive the problem was for me. But it probably happened because we spent so much time in airports last year.

Airports are like my ultimate tune out of myself and my experience zones. Up until recently when I hit an airport, not only did I immediately become vague, illogical and distant, I also had a zillion additional strategies up my sleeve to disassociate from the fear, stress and projections I experienced being there. (I’m not telling you my strategies by the way – because it’s kind of the opposite of what I’m writing about today and trust me, you just feel like a zombie woman after using them, which isn’t fun).

Naturally my soulmate had been pointing out the problem of my ‘going away from myself’ fairly often since we met. While I could recognise what he was saying was true (read: nod, agree, and then largely avoid), it took me a long time to actually want to see what a major and life-long issue it was, or what the repercussions of my constant tune-out were in my day to day life.

Last year, exacerbated by the airport merry-go-round, I finally felt how debilitating this problem was in regards to my personal growth and long-term happiness.

I began to recognise, how my problem with staying present, was affecting my ability to experience emotions – both painful and pleasurable. This lack of experience was not only limiting my spiritual progress, the key to which is my desire to feel my real emotions constantly, it also meant I had no joy in my life.

I couldn’t effectively feel anything, or deal with anything, while I wanted to absent myself from things a large percentage of the time. This meant neither significant release of pain nor the resultant relief that comes with it. But additionally, many times, I just wasn’t there enough to feel happiness of the wind on my face as we gazed at a startling view, or the enjoyment of a new acquaintance in a foreign city. Even the taste of great food was dulled by the myriad of other experiences I was suppressing as I ate it.

Beyond this, I was also very lonely. My unwillingness to be present with myself for long periods meant that I couldn’t experience deep connection in any relationship. This problem extended to my most significant and valuable relationships. Without experience of myself, I couldn’t achieve any true intimacy or connection with God or with my soulmate.

Put very simply, I came to understand two very important truths:

1. Not being present meant not really living my life.

2. Becoming present was actually the crucial first step in engaging humility on a daily basis.

Thus ‘Operation Get Present’ was born.

goofy Mary

Today I’m introducing a new series in which I share many of the things I learned and experienced as I decided to focus on this one thing – becoming present – as my first goal every single day.

In some posts to follow, I hope to give you practical tips that helped me in this endeavour, plus convey some of the emotional and spiritual things I realised and encountered along the way.

As fair warning, I should say that blog writing, at the moment, falls a little lower on my list of priorities than many other things in life. That’s why things get a little sporadic around here. So, while I’m promising you a series, please keep in mind that entries will come as time and personal processing allows.  I’m pretty sure that most of you get that! Thank-you for your understanding.

By the way, if you are stuck for inspiring reading, you should totally check out what Denis, and Paige & Kerry have been up to in Kenya. Is it completely dorky of me to tell you that, in my head, I call what these guys are doing The Awesome Adventures of PKD?

Yup, probably 🙂

Understanding the Law of Compensation {Practical Exercise}

Below you’ll find a video discussion that’s a part of our new series discussing the Padgett Messages.

I really enjoyed this chat between Jesus and I.  We talk about the message received from Joseph Salyards on 3rd May, 1915.

If you would like to read along with the Padgett Message as you watch the video, click here. The message will open in the next tab of your web browser.

In this talk we touched on many of God’s Laws and I fess up about my rebellion at one of the most important Laws to understand while on earth.

As a self-confessed rebel, coming to love God’s Laws has been a drawn out process for me. Lately however no-one is more surprised than me that exploring, discussing and experimenting with individual Laws is developing into a sort of personal love-affair.

OK – its more truthful to say that I’m falling in love with most Laws… my inner rebel is still complaining about some of them. I can say however that I’m beginning to experience the power of honouring Law in my life (look out for a ‘Jesus Quotes” post coming up on this topic). It turns out that obeying God’s Law is actually liberating, not restricting. Who knew? 🙂

After this discussion I had the idea to offer you a self-reflection exercise. I completed it myself and thought you might be interested!

Personal Reflection Activity:

Here is a list of movies that demonstrate characters who encounter the Law of Compensation.

Seven Pounds (2008)
Director: Gabriele Muccino
Stars: Will Smith, Rosario Dawson, Woody Harrelson

The Machinist (2004)
Director: Brad Anderson
Stars: Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh

Bella (2006)
Director: Alejandro Monteverde
Stars: Eduardo Verástegui, Tammy Blanchard, Manny Perez

Prayers for Bobby (TV Movie – 2009)
Directer:  Russell Mulcahy
Stars: Sigourney Weaver

Everybody’s Fine (2009)
Director: Kirk Jones
Stars: Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale

Developing Self- Awareness Questions:

As you watch or re-watch these movies notice your reactions:

  • Did you ‘recognize yourself’ in any of the characters? For example have you had common feelings, attitudes, or experienced similar events to anyone in the movie?
  • Without analyzing too much with your intellect – Do you feel that the main characters in this movie did the ‘right thing’? If you do, what actions did they take that you agree with? Would you, or have you taken similar actions? If you don’t agree with the actions of the main character/s, why not?
  • If you have seen any of the movies before, have you previously considered that they each demonstrate a person encountering the Law of Compensation? Did you feel that the behaviour of the characters displayed repentance? Did you feel the actions of the main character were noble and just?

    I found it most powerful to simply let myself feel my response to this first set of questions. My emotional reactions tell me most about where my soul is at in terms of fully understanding the principles of Divine Love and Truth involved.

    Later on I came back to use my intellect to analyze where my injuries are still showing through. For example, as I watch the movie I might emotionally identify the sacrifice and hiding of truth of certain characters with them being loving and honourable. Its great to let myself feel that.

    When I come back and analyze that reaction intellectually I can see that its a false belief in my soul that will effect my relationship with God, and ability to truly love others. I wouldn’t have learnt that if I’d only analyzed the movie intellectually and with a view to getting the answer ‘right’. These first questions were designed to help me self-reflect and learn about myself – so by definition the only ‘right’ answers were honest answers.

    The second lot of questions (below) helped me to see what I really understand and believe the Laws of Compensation and Repentance/ Forgiveness to be.

  • How did the main characters in the movie begin to encounter the Law of Compensation? What happened? How did they feel? How was the Law beginning to work upon their soul?
  • How do the characters respond when they start to feel the effects of the Law of Compensation?
  • Which characters fight the Law when it begins to act on them?
  • Did any character move from experiencing the Law of Compensation, into a process of repentance?
  • Reflecting upon your knowledge of God’s Laws and Love, and the true nature of the human soul, do you feel the main character developed or degraded their soul condition through the events portrayed in the movie?
  • If you feel that the main character developed in love, did they do this via engaging the principles of the Natural Love or the Divine Love Path?

I hope you enjoy the self-reflection exercise if you choose to do it.

If I’m super organized I’ll do a follow-up post, summarizing my observations and reflections about each movie in relation to the Laws of Compensation, Repentance & Forgiveness.

Have a great day everyone! We’re in Kyabra for the week and it’s great to see how all the projects from last year’s Summerfest are going.