Category Archives: Humility

Removing People from our Audiences:

Further Letters

The following letters are a continuation of my exchange with G. (previous letters in this conversation can be viewed here).

Photo by Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

G’s Second Response to Mary :

Hi Mary,

The underlying reason is to my comment in the first place was very simple. I feel have read way too much into it. You have described it as an “attack”. This is completely wrong.
I don’t have emotions that want to attack you or anyone. You have met me several times but I would not say that you know me very well at all. Your last email illustrates this to me.
I challenge people’s actions as being fruitful for what they are trying to achieve. I do this because of empathy towards the person being the subject of the action. Nothing more. Yes, I questioned your judgement. So what! It’s not a big deal. I will do it again if I don’t agree with what you are doing. As with my own judgement, I do not regard your judgement as infallible. We all make mistakes.

You seem very put out about me questioning it. If I think any of my friends have made an error in judgement I suggest it to them.
Why? Because they are my friends and friends can have robust arguments and disagreements without any ill feeling.

After your first email I was satisfied that although I could not see how these people could be as you described them they must have deserved this treatment. Now after reading your subsequent emails to me and your overreaction to a challenge of your authority I am not so sure.

You talk about my treatment towards you.
What treatment? I disagreed with you Mary. If you have misconceived my treatment and thoughts towards you then you have possibly done the same with others.

You do not know me well enough to judge my “desire to love” or my current soul condition. That is why I just ignored those comments of yours.  When you do this with people it is a judgement whether you see it as one or not. Saying whether something is hot or cold is a judgement. If your device for measuring is inaccurate then you have now made a very big mistake. You say that you are telling people the truth about themselves and if they don’t accept it because they are resistive. They can’t handle the truth.

What if it’s not the truth and your perception is wrong?
I say you are being judgemental and unhelpful when you do this.
I have seen more negative consequences than positive.
They feel judged and are hurt if they trust you more than themselves.
Of course they do.

We disagree strongly here and I am not “attacking you”. I am disagreeing with you, questioning the benefits of your actions even though I believe your motives and intentions are good.
Am I not allowed to do this?

Although I would never try to asses someone’s soul condition I do have a pretty good idea on who has a good heart.
Do you honestly think for one minute I think that you and AJ do not have good hearts and every bodies welfare in mind.
You spend your entire life giving to people. On what grounds would I have to be unloving towards you? You are wonderful people. You know that I know you spend every minute of your day giving to others.

On what grounds would I possibly have to attack you or not love you?
Question you sometimes on your judgement? Yes.
Have I committed a crime against you? No
Do I love or respect you any less? No
Am I open to be convinced otherwise? Yes.

Love,
G____

Photo by Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

Mary’s Third Response to G:

Hi G____,

There are just so many errors in logic in your email and also a wealth of innuendo and implications. I can’t respond to all of it because it would just take too much time.

You also demonstrate that you don’t understand what Jesus and I are trying to achieve in sharing Divine Truth. e.g. you say “I have seen more negative consequences than positive” demonstrating that you see some things as negative that we don’t see as negative.

You imply that your initial email was a question (not true) and that you emailed in response to your empathy for the people removed. This isn’t logical. Empathy for a person’s emotions alone doesn’t cause you to speak in defense of them or to attack of those who challenge their actions (which is what you have done). It is possible to have empathy and compassion but still stand firm for truth (which is what Jesus and I have done).

I started to respond to everything you have just raised with me and it is becoming an essay and to be honest given how you responded here I don’t think that my explanations will necessarily be read by you anyway. Contrary to what you think I’m not concerned about your disagreement with me. I’m OK to let you remain in disagreement with me and to misunderstand and misrepresent my motivations.

I do love robust discussion of any issues of love and truth which is why I engaged the email exchange with you in the first place. But since you are showing that you can’t actually respond to the points of logic in my email, continuing discussion with you seems pointless.

Robust disagreements and deep discussions about matters of Truth and about God’s Love and Laws are things that make me come alive. This are the kind of conversations I am on earth to have. A sign of healthy and secure people are those who can disagree and have discussions that seek for truth and don’t take personal offense. This is how I engaged with you.

However you didn’t start our discussion with this attitude. You displayed that you had taken personal offense and that you had made a judgement of us before any discussion of truth.

You send me an email that clearly imputed that Jesus and I were not “Supportive, encouraging, kind, sensitive, helpful, friendly, warm and open” and that my behavior made you sick. You didn’t seek clarification of the issue before you made these statements. I then responded in a clearly reasoned explanation of what we did, why we did it and included logical explanation of why your immediate response to defend the unloving person in the situation is problematic for your spiritual growth and the world at large. You now tell me that by doing this I am reading too much into things, “over reacting” and that I’ve responded out of some kind of defense of my “authority”. This is a way of trying to shut me down and ignore what I have said. You even said blatantly that you ignored some of my comments to you. On one hand you say that I should be able to have robust discussion and handle strong disagreement but then when I engage in that maturely with you, you dismiss what I say in the ways that I just listed.

I just want to remind you that it was you that contacted me about this matter and accused me of conduct that made you sick. And also to state that I am allowed to respond to your email to me in my own voice and with my own thoughts and that in doing that, without taking personal offense, I am being a grown up. As someone who listens to Divine Truth a lot I thought that you may be open to a logical discussion about matters of truth but I haven’t found that in this exchange. I know that you listen to Divine Truth material almost daily and I didn’t think that my focus on the bigger picture of your soul condition would be so challenging to you. Often our smallest, routine actions (that we don’t think are problematic) demonstrate a lot about our sin and are the ones that cause us the most problems in our progression on earth and after we pass.

Photos courtesy of Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

Finally, I have to genuinely laugh about even the idea that Jesus or I are in some attached to authority. Not because I am laughing at you but because the idea that I (or Jesus) have any attachment to authority or power over anyone is just so far from what is real. If anything, we both have issues with accepting the “role responsibility” that God desires for us (which is not about authority over others but leadership and responsibility).

We never “lord it over” people or demand their agreement, nor do we become offended or enraged when people disagree with us or ignore us. If we did these things or had the demand that people accept our so-called “authority” we would be vastly unhappy in our current lifestyle since 99.9999% of people in the world either think we are nuts, a joke, deluded, or evil. Even the people who attend our groups routinely resort to treating us with condescension, dismissal or simply voice disagreement with us (just as you have done). So we are pretty used to people not listening to us and voicing their attack and judgement of us. It doesn’t make their attack or judgement right but we have grown enough that it doesn’t cause us problems. And we certainly don’t feel that people must agree with us.

We really love and respect God’s Authority in all things.

The only authority I had in this situation is authority over the Assistance Group. And that is because, given the group was our creation, the atmosphere that facilitates learning, love and truth is our responsibility during the time that we run the groups. With that responsibility comes the “authority” to ask people to leave.

When you disagree with me, I am not leaping to defend myself or taking offense. I responded to you at length primarily because you first initiated contact with me and because the principles involved are important to what we teach. You are allowed to disagree with me and I am allowed to respond to you with my own explanation. I do use a lot of words to explain and I am direct in my language. These things are not a sign of my defensiveness but rather that I desire what I mean to be plain and understandable. I want to reduce the possibility for misunderstanding on your part. I am also passionate about the principles involved here.

I don’t seek out people who attack or disagree with me in private to try and correct them or explain myself. But when a person contacts me, in the guise of giving me “feedback” which is actually attack (as you did) I find it natural that I may choose to respond.

Absolutely everyone who I was close to before I met Jesus disagrees with me in one way or another and I have never felt that they must agree with me. I don’t seek them out to make them “see my point” or respect my “authority” (again – what authority?).

But this interaction is entirely different. You contacted me and I responded, not offended, but in clear language with reasoned explanation of the principles involved including why both Jesus and I took the actions we did and why we believe that those actions are an important part of upholding love and truth.

Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, you have personally attacked me (and Jesus) e.g. calling me an ‘over reactor’ and someone with ‘authority issues’, someone who ‘made you sick’ and you did so without having any clear evidence for those statements or logic in your arguments. Something in our asking people to leave the last groups brought up emotions for you which you didn’t take responsibility to feel for yourself and instead you chose to dump them on us.  You may wish to call what you feel for the people involved “empathy” or say that you are logically questioning our actions but you haven’t done that in the way that you are communicating with me. Empathy for one group of people doesn’t cause a loving person to attack another group of people.

I notice a lot of people do this, they want to avoid logical discussion of principles and facts that may cause them to change or to see things about themselves and instead respond in knee-jerk comments, poorly reasoned arguments and unloving behaviour. This is what happens when we don’t feel emotions for ourselves, we loose sight of logic and blame others. For example, in your emails to me you question my judgement in assessing who is behaving unlovingly in our groups, imply that we are “destroying” people by asking them to not be there and tell me we are hurting and judging people but then you state that we have good hearts. These sentiments contradict each other.

I understand that you feel that you are being a reasonable, nice guy but your statements and behaviour don’t support that belief or demonstrate that to me. There is clearly a dissonance between your various statements and what you say you feel.

Anyway G____, I feel that the way that you have responded to me in this last email (with further attack, dismissal and ignoring of the principles involved) demonstrates to me that any more correspondence with you on the matter wouldn’t be good use of my time. The only way discussion is fruitful is if we can engage with it logically and without dismissal or condescension towards the other. I have not dismissed any of your comments to me, and I have demonstrated that I have a clear and reasoned understanding of the issues involved. If you were to treat me as I treat you and to actually discuss the principles and ideas involved without imputing things about my motivations or character then I would enjoy the discussion but I don’t see any evidence of you wanting to do that so I’ll finish here.

Bye for now,

Mary

Photo by Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins

All photo in this post by Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins – Thank you

A Poem from My Hurt Self

Sometime ago I wrote a poem.

It came after I had cried deeply, I’m not sure for how long. Afterwards, I sat down with my journal and, without any fore-thought or planning, out came this poem, exactly as it is written below.

I haven’t shared it before now for a few reasons. The main one being that these words came straight from a part of myself that felt judged and vulnerable, and definitely not yet comfortable with sharing very personal parts of me and my experience.

Indeed, this poem felt to be so me when I wrote it that I felt very exposed even sharing it with a few close friends.

Also, some of these hurt feelings were angry when they were first uncovered and my purpose in sharing is never to model that living and acting in anger is something that I think is worthwhile, good or loving.

In publishing this poem publicly today, I am certain that I don’t have a point to prove with my parents by doing so. In fact, strange as it may seem, I don’t even feel that it is a poem about my parents.

This is a poem about me and my journey. It came from a part of myself that felt very raw and real when uncovered and I’m sharing it now because I think that the words have a certain power because they are written with the childlike lack of sophisticated and facade that I experienced at the time.

Today, Jesus will welcome our first round of participants for the “Developing my Loving Self” assistance group. This group will address the importance of connecting to and releasing all of the injured parts of ourselves. So, it seemed apt to make this post today.

I hope that the poem might inspire you to be real and to become more sensitive to the hurt, often childlike, parts of you that are long suppressed and desperate for your attention, care and love so that they can be integrated and their pain released.

******

A Poem from My Hurt Self

I never got to feel pretty

I never got to feel free

You always were the bosses

And I never got to explore me

 

I’ve never liked my body

I’ve never felt at ease

I’ve always felt as your puppy

That has to beg and fetch and please

 

Now I feel so angry

I feel I’ve lost so much

I want to take back my body

And I wish you would know the cost

 

You’ve taken such a toll on me

I feel so much regret

My life, it feels half over

And I’m not even a grown up yet

 

I want to make you sorry

Make you pay for what you’ve done

But none of that will help me

I’m in this for a longer, better run

 

So instead I’m reclaiming my body

I’m learning to say no

I’m claiming my own territory

My heart, my body, my soul

 

You are betrayers and abusers

You made me feel so wrong

to want my life, my joy, my partner

You’ve engulfed me for so long

 

It’s been hard to find myself

Amidst your needy cloud

You felt so damned entitled

I could never speak the truth aloud

 

But I am hiding not a minute longer

I’m breaking up these chains

A new girl is emerging

And taking up the reins

 

She is stronger and braver

Than you have ever been

And you won’t even recognise her

But eventually, I know – you’ll want her on your team

 

In the end you’ll turn to her

You can’t outrun your terror

And there is only so much pain

you’ll take before you’ll want to know how she could change

 

I am proud of who I’m becoming

And I don’t want your shit no more

I’d rather please my Maker

Than abide by family law

 

There is a bird within my heart

Still caged but breaking free

She is crying but also singing

She is finding a new way to be

 

I want to soar through treetops

And dip and glide with grace

I want to heal my wounds and worries

Until I find my home, my space

 

Your reign on my life is over

It’s me now, but I’m not alone

I found a friend, a lover – a fine, good man –

With the same heart as my own

 

While I want to wish you all the best

In truth, I hope one day you’ll see

The pain that you’ve been running from

And how that’s damaged me

 

I say that for your own sake

Because by that time I’ll be long gone

Soaring free into my new life

With my prince upon my arm

 

vegemite kid

Responding to Spirit Attack: A Letter

Hi Jesus and Mary, I am wondering if you would be willing to have a conversation with me by phone or skype. Everything is really ramping up for me, I don’t know if I am on track, if I am being relentlessly attacked by spirits. I have focused on my relationship with God and feeling my endless addictions (I think anyway). I feel it would help me a lot.
Love E____ .

Hi E____,

I’m sorry to hear that you have been struggling with spirit attack lately.

Honestly, at the moment I am struggling with spirit attack myself. I know that it can be really hard, confusing and scary. Here are some things that I’ve noticed:

As I have gotten more connected with myself I have found that many of the things I thought I believed or felt in the past about myself or the world have actually been me agreeing with negative spirit messages to me. I have repeated their messages to me and to others in an attempt to avoid spirit attack.

As I work through things I have found that I actually have different feelings and beliefs and desires to what I was telling myself. I was just trying to be a different person with a different life in order to try and make spirits who I fear happy.

When I get or stay more connected to my true desires and feelings the spirit attack ramps up as they try to maintain or regain control of me.

So, I am not surprised that as you have started to follow your desires in harmony with love and truth (including going back to uni and doing more things that you love) that you have felt more under attack.

The key is to recognise that the problem is not what you are doing – you are actually doing better in your progress – but that these spirits are pulling out all the stops to try and get control back because they sense that soon they won’t have any at all.

Once you recognise this dynamic the real emotional work of freeing yourself from the influence and attack forever can begin.

This is where I still run into problems but Jesus so often helps me with encouragement and truth about these issues and I’ll do my best to share some of the key things he reminds me of below:

1. Allow yourself to feel the attack and how that makes you feel.

Rather than believing the messages the spirits are telling you let your self soften to feeling how terrible it feels that spirits would say and want to do such things to you. Let yourself feel how afraid you are of these spirits and what your beliefs are about what they can and will do to you.

Very often I find that I go rigid under attack, I try to ‘survive’ it rather than grieve it. This often means I shut down my emotions completely and start telling myself what they want me to believe. This includes things like “I’m a terrible person” or “Everything is hopeless” or “Feeling emotions doesn’t work anyway – look at how unhappy you are”. Once they have me in that place I will often then be more likely to do their bidding. I get attacking or really negative with others. I put myself down internally to myself or with others. This is me accepting their messages and often I’ve done this so much that I have ended up thinking that these messages came from me not outside me. This is dangerous because it allows the spirits to be ‘anonymous’ and invisible to us. I don’t sense the attack and instead I become their instruments to attack myself or others.

The key thing here is to know that the only reason I do all of that is in order to avoid how terrified I am of the spirits. Because I don’t want to feel fear I believe I have no other choice but to do and believe what dark spirits want me to. And if I have done that long enough and am avoiding fear enough I will end up wanting to not have any sense of the spirits at all.

So I very important step is to begin to recognise that attack and threats are coming from outside of yourself towards you. It sounds like you have begun to do this which is great.

All the negativity and self attack or attack towards others that I end up engaging are all ways that I avoid feeling my terror of spirits. I submit my will to what they want rather than maintaining my love of truth and acting in accordance with it. I believe that you have done this a lot in the past but now that you have grown in love you are less willing to do as much attack of others so of course you feel the attack from spirits more strongly. You need to be aware however of how much you are still willing to attack yourself. This is a way that they sap your energy and you still give up your desires out of fear of them.

From things you have told me in the past, you came from quite an emotionally violent family and so some of the fears that these spirits are triggering are to do with how violently you were treated when you desired to engage your will for yourself as a child. That is, there is terror in you of your parents and how they responded to you as a small child when you had desires and emotions that they didn’t approve of. These spirits are manipulating this unfelt emotion within you. When you release it they will have zero power over you. So let this process expose those fears.

2. Let yourself feel your specific fears.

Under attack from spirits let yourself feel what you really fear will happen. You need to let yourself be specific.

No fear is just general. For example the feeling is not just “I am really afraid of spirits” or “I am really afraid of the dark”

Our fears are specific and individual to us. While we might have many fears of many different things, each one is definite and often intricate in detail.

For example:
‘these spirits will be able to kill me unless I do what they want’, or
‘these spirits will be able to influence people to hate me’ or
‘people will laugh at me when I’m like this and unless everyone loves me I am worthless’ or
‘these spirits can kill my loved ones’ or ‘in the dark people will come and rape me and no-one will see and rescue me’

So let yourself feel and discover what you are really afraid will happen when these spirits are attacking and threatening you.

Below is an excerpt from an online chat I had with someone else which illustrates the process of getting more specific about fear:

Mary: So here is the thing about spirit influence. I know it is hard and I still struggle with it myself but this is what I have found to be true: spirits can only influence through our own negative feelings towards ourselves and through our fear/terror.

Friend: Oh, that makes sense.

Mary: For me, my resistance to feeling intense shame about certain events (abuse in first century) leads me to agree when spirits tell me I am worthless and also my resistance to experiencing my terror of being physically abused and tortured opens me up to believing or doing what they tell me. For example, I might take actions towards myself or others that are unloving in order to try to mitigate their projections or avoid the fear their threats to cause physical harm to me if I don’t comply.

The problem is (as you are experiencing) that by doing what these negative spirit people want or repeating their terrible messages towards us, we end up feeling worse and worse.

Friend: Do you have things you do that help?

Mary: I have found the key for me is to find their particular hooks into me (those emotions I talked about). It isn’t always easy but it really, really helps to get specific about what I am ashamed about or what I am afraid about.

Once I can connect to those emotions even a bit I find I am ‘on my own’ again … that is… they can’t influence me into those terrible negative compounding cycles that lead me to feelings of wanting to die etc

Friend: OK .I will start trying that…I have been working to go back too to the past where the terror started too.

Mary: Great, so for example to start with – when you say that seeing mum in the paper terrifies you… can you get more specific about what you are afraid of?

Friend: I am afraid they can commit me and destroy any chance of a good life for me because they have all the money, power and influence to do that and would if they could.

I feel like I have given up any chance of love and happiness already…and it’s not enough for them. And like they are winning…and I can’t do anything about it.

Mary: So – lets get even more specific. When you mention the fear of them committing you, does this relate to a fear of being physically overpowered and your freedom being taken away?

Or is it that they can convince others that you are wrong and therefore alienate you from acceptance in the world?

Friend: definitely the second one…

I’ll never understand how they can all be so happy when they know the truth…

Mary: OK – awesome.. so you know that one of your big fears is about them influencing other people’s opinion of you and being able to convince others that you are bad and worthless.

And if you think about it this is the exact fear that came up for you in your recent attraction with me and Jesus when you thought L____ would ‘poison’ us against you. This wasn’t the case but the fear was triggered in you and because you didn’t feel it, it clouded your perception and allowed a bunch of very negative spirits to manipulate that unfelt terror and convince you that you were really in danger of something terrible happening.

So you know that this is a big fear to work on that must have roots in your childhood.

Friend: yes…that is so true…and thank you for that…I will start to really examine this…

3. Don’t neglect truth

This is a beautiful thing that Jesus reminds me of and I watch him practice under spirit attack himself.

This means things like:

–  Read or watch things about God, love and truth

– Don’t avoid people who you know are loving and will be truthful with you and who you have found in the past to be trustworthy, seek them out instead

–  Remind yourself of the truth about your true nature, about progression and about God

– Keep speaking what you know to be truth and follow what you know are loving desires

– Remind yourself that you are getting more attacked because you are growing towards God and love and your real self – not because you deserve it or the spirits are right about you. In fact, anyone who attacks you cannot be delivering truth to you.

– Remember your loving motivations for doing what you are doing e.g. why you decided to follow your desires to go back to university, why you wanted to grow and heal etc.

Truth and love are such powerful forces – more powerful than the evil ones – but when we resist fear it is easy to loose sight of that fact.

So, don’t neglect sources of truth and love in your life. Seek out things that you know inspire you and remind you of truth and goodness. Dark spirits are hopeless themselves and they find it easy to manipulate a person who lives in negativity and hopelessness.

While we do need to surrender to and grieve any feelings of faithlessness or hopelessness that exist within us be careful not to live in those feelings. The path to God is to feel those feelings and continue to seek God’s Truth about everything that frightens us and that we feel hopeless about.

Anyway E____, I hope that some of that helps.

I read some motivational quote the other day that said that most people quit right before they begin to see results. While I think that the person was referring to health and fitness I find it fitting in relation to spirit influence, control and attack.

We feel the world’s resistance to our change the most when we are making definite moves towards personal change and growth. Before then we don’t notice it as much because we are in more agreement with it. As we begin to shift the level of opposition to love and truth that was always there around us just begins to be exposed. We just didn’t notice it that much before because we were stagnant on those issues ourselves. So, I hope I can encourage you to keep going and remind you that Jesus and I love you and we know that you can get through this.

Your sister,

Mary

*******

I wrote this letter some time ago and revised and slightly updated it for publication here today.

As I was rereading over what I had written I was reflecting ‘gee I really left out a glaringly obvious thing to do when under spirit attack’ – which is to pray.

I could claim that it was too obvious to mention – but the truth is that often, when under spirit attack myself, I find myself feeling that the most difficult thing to do is to simply pray.

But it is actually the most powerful thing you can do.

I see that many of us when under attack – myself included – have a tendency to give up, assume a figurative (or literal) fetal position, hang a ‘position vacant’ sign on ourselves and try to wait for it all to be over so that we can feel better again.

This never works.

The truth is that only way spirit attack lessens is when:

  1. We comply in some way with the unloving demands and projections of the attacking spirits.

    We might stop the loving action we were planning to take, we might treat ourselves or others with a lack of love or even begin to attack ourselves. In short, the attack lessens because we, in a small or large way, give up our will to what these spirits want and thus become their instruments. This is what they want and so they ‘back off’.

  2. The attacking spirit changes and decides through their own free will and desire to grow in love to stop attacking you.

  3. We respond proactively by becoming more humble and faithful.

    This means that we begin working through the emotions that the spirits are acting upon thus lessening the power of their dark messages to manipulate us.

A few important things I want to point out here:

Firstly, that option number 2 rarely happens unless you engage with option number 3 first yourself. There are various reasons for this that probably deserve a longer explanation but put simply; it is unlikely that an abuser will cease abusing another person and decide to become more loving before the person who is being abused decides that they don’t want to accept that abuse anymore.

Second thing I notice is, that people sometimes get confused, believing they are doing number 3 when really they are in reality engaged in option number 1.

That is because darker spirits are often comfortable with people they influence on earth living in certain addictions (and calling it ‘experiencing emotion’) if those addictive emotions reinforce the unloving viewpoints the spirits themselves have and make the person on earth more willing to do what they (the spirits) want.

The person on earth can gain the impression that experiencing a certain emotion is lessening the spirit attack and that must mean that they are working through their injuries. However unless the person on earth is willing and desirous to receive God’s Truth on issues then they can really just be experiencing a lessening of spirit attack because they are becoming more compliant with negative spirits and more in harmony with their darker soul condition.

Perhaps a good example of this is a woman who is working on herself and begins to feel that she would like to open her heart to her man. She begins to feel spirit attacked. Through her unhealed emotions spirits can then start to suggest to her that really her issue is that she has been abused by men and she just needs to ‘feel’ her rage and ‘forgive’ the man she is with for harming her in the past.

If the woman isn’t humble she can start to act out emotionally in blame of her partner, withdraw further from him than she was previously and try to ‘work on’ her rage. She may even cry angry tears and spend time bashing inanimate objects in the guise of working through her rage. Suddenly the spirit attack may lessen.In fact, she might feel lighter and have more energy in all of the other areas of her life – except with her male partner.

If this woman is blocked to receiving God’s Truths about matters she only has her own ideas and the spirit’s attack or lessening of attack to gauge her progress. Even if this woman has been harmed by men in the past, while blocked to true humility and to God’s Truth she will stagnate or even regress in her progress. She will not be able to accurately discern what she needs to forgive others for and what  she needs to repent for.

Which brings me back to the issue of prayer. Involving God in this process of dealing with attack (and life in general!) is way powerful. Immediately that we do this we aren’t reliant on our own injured self or the negative spirits around us to determine what is truth and what constitutes progress. If you really think about it, it is so illogical to exclude the most reliable source of Truth and Love from our quest for growth.

A lessons I have learned this year is that I often shut God out of my life because I want to hold onto false beliefs about myself and others. I do this because either:

  1. I believe that remaining in a state of error and untruth in my soul keeps me safer from violent attack (which is an issue of avoiding terror), or because,
  2. I don’t want to feel the overwhelming emotions that facing God’s Truth would trigger (which is an issue of avoiding immense grief).

When I don’t want to pray I remind myself that it is likely due to one of these two false beliefs and attitudes. I can work on those and I will need to deal with these global issues if I am to remain free of negative spirit influences for good.

I encourage you to find the reasons you stop wanting to pray when under spirit attack and to remind yourself that without seeking God’s Truth in our lives we are flying blind, with our injuries and errors clouding our judgement and assessments of things. Alternately, having a reliable external source of absolute truth is such a gift.

God’s Truth provides us with a compass and His Love gives a light to move towards.

***********

Jesus and I have spoken about spirit influence a lot in the past and I really recommend viewing the following videos if you would like more information:

Positively Responding To Spirit Influence S1P1 S1P2  S2P1 S2P2

Coping With Spirit Influence P1 P2

Spirit Influence S1 S2P1 S2P2

If anyone found any other Divine Truth video or written material helpful in responding to Spirit Attack then I’d love to hear from you via email and I can add your suggestion to this list.

Jesus Quotes: Humility & God’s Love

“Our Father provides the substance, or mechanism for us to know him, which is Divine Love, but for us to receive that Love we must truly and sincerely have a burning desire to know Him and love Him.

If we truly have this desire, then as a result, we will truly have a desire to take responsibility for and feel and experience all of our personal emotions, desires, aspirations, passions even if we feel bad about them.”

Jesus

Walking the Way: The 1-2-3 of Passion & Desires

On a recent visit to Kyabra, Eloisa reminding of a channeling I had received and shared with her back in 2011.

I had forgotten the channeling and lost my copy so she kindly sent it back to me.

What I love about this message is the way that Rachael and Tim touch on all of the basic principles of The Way – opening our hearts to God’s feelings for us, connecting to our emotional selves, engaging God in an active relationship. They also highlight how living in fear shuts down the natural process of exploring desire and finding our true selves.

Kyabra in Autumn

Personal Mediumship by Mary Luck

Kyabra Station – 27th September, 2011

Dearest sister, please make more time to sit and spend with us. You avoid yourself so constantly and don’t allow yourself to experience the joy of connecting with and discovering yourself. There is much passion, desire and creativity within you that is, as yet, untapped and undiscovered by yourself.

Focus on your passions and desires more consistently – challenge the fears you have about the judgement of others. In other words let yourself:

1. Identify and focus on things you love to do – i.e. to teach, create, explore, share.
2. Do them, and
3. let your fears and emotions be triggered in the process.

At present you begin at 3. i.e.– identifying your fears and grief and anger at the worlds’ possible response to you and your dreams, or your own potential failings

This limits 2. – i.e. it often stops you even beginning to do what you desire,

and then consequently;

1. Is never fully explored because you ‘begin at the end’ of the process.

You pre-empt any possible joy and creativity because you are so focussed on your fear of the third step of the process. Because you view yourself still as this flawed, first century girl, you believe all will end in failure and pain.

This is truly a state of self-reliance. You allow no space for God to help you grow in this process, and you ignore the provisions that God makes through His Loving Laws, in order to assist and protect those who embrace themselves and their desires most fully.

Trust God more in your day-to-day life.

Keep in mind and heart the process you are engaged in – which is to embrace yourself and to heal any injury which prevents the pure expression of self. This is not a passive process, nor is it one that you can be perfect in (or present yourself as perfect in) immediately.

You still believe that your imperfections are proof of your unworthiness and this is a self-defeating injury.

God’s beliefs are different to yours – you must be willing to open your heart to His Feelings for you. This is the fastest way to embrace this process and to trust its efficacy.

Do not believe dear sister that from your state of error you can accurately conceive the wonderful possibilities that are available to you and all of humanity. Be willing to shed your reliance on what you think you know, in favour of a spirit of trust and exploration. You can stay grounded, but let that be a grounding in the goodness that God does demonstrate – not in the hatefulness of mankind who have strayed so far from Him.

We wish you a day full of exploration and discovery.

We would be happy to return to you and discuss the principles of teaching and learning at a later time. With so much love and affection,

Your guides,

Rachael and Timothy.

I Escaped a Cult

The other day my kindly youtube account recommended a number of videos for me. I suspect they do this by scanning the word themes of my subscribed channels and suggesting to me videos with similar tags or themes to those I’ve already watched. (I’m sure there is a specific technical term for this process – if you know maybe you can write it in the comments and I can amend this post!)

Since I subscribe to our Divine Truth Channel as well as our FAQ channel, which now has an entire playlist on cults, one of the videos recommended for me was “I Escaped a Cult” (clip below).

I watched the clip. I wept for these people. I felt about the reasons why people are drawn to cults. I prayed for the healing of those I saw on film and all others who are damaged by such horrible acts and erroneous belief systems about God and Love.

It wasn’t until I was finished with all that watching, feeling and praying that I suddenly realized that loads of people assume that my life is similar to those of the people described in the documentary. It also dawned on me that people might even think that we treat people like the ‘leaders’ in these groups treated the people who told their stories.

Its true that the false, slanderous, misleading and sensationalized media coverage of us in recent years has encouraged people to think in such ways. But I am also aware that many would assume these kinds of things simply based on our identity claims.

Now you might think I’m a little slow on the uptake when it comes to considering how others perceive us. Truth be told, I have (of course) considered it all before.

But given how different my life actually is to what the media has said about it, and given that I actively spend everyday attempting to grow in and extend love, truth and humility to others, and given that I am adored, encouraged and inspired by the man I live with, its easy to forget that people think that I live a tortured, power-hungry life with a narcissistic megalomaniac. So extreme is the contrast in viewpoints that the latter assumption can be swiftly dismissed by my heart and mind as utter absurdity (and is thus difficult to retain).

Put simply, such slander is so daft and uninformed that I don’t think about it much anymore. And I sometimes forget that many people are actually holding onto the daft, uninformed and absurd ideas about who we are and what we stand for.

So at times I still feel suddenly very shocked and naive when I watch these types of documentaries and realize that this kind of abusive behaviour would be associated in the minds of others with my life or belief systems.

You see, we are all about assisting people to end their acceptance of abusive and unloving behaviour. We teach the embracing of free will and that to receive Love from the One Absolutely Reliable Source is the surest way to happiness and growth – no intermediary necessary!

We preach that God is not One who punishes or requires penance in order to receive His Love, nor is any person more important or powerful in God’s Eyes than any other (so if we live in harmony with God’s Laws we would never be able to view each other in terms of hierarchy or to set up abusive power systems on Earth).

In short, we are the most anti-cult people I know.

I’ve written about this subject before, and I was considering writing about it again yesterday. But then Jesus had an email requesting an interview/ opinion on cults and he wrote awesome things. So I’m just going to share his words after the clip of the documentary below.

I know that if you read my blog regularly you might be scoffing at the necessity for me to write about such topics. You’re know you’re not a member of anything and you are completely relaxed in the knowledge that you aren’t in a cult, right?

Well, in my opinion and experience its always good to explore emotions around such topics. They are sensationalized in our media and our lives because many people – no, most people – harbor huge fears about being controlled, manipulated and hurt. (Jesus discusses this in more detail in the text below).

While we deny and suppress these fears, they have power in our lives. Fears of being abused, controlled and manipulated, when left unhealed and unchecked, can cause us to be needlessly suspicious of good people, and/or foolishly trusting of people with bad intentions. They are the very fears that people who want control use to manipulate us e.g. they accuse us of being controlled and manipulated in order to have us change to what suits them or to fall back under their control.

It can sound like a complex issue, and honestly unless we explore our doubts and fears things can become complex and confusing. Thankfully if we are willing to delve deep into our feelings, ask the tough questions, and feel our pain of past hurts and manipulation, we do emerge with the clarity to discern who and what is trustworthy.

If we involve God in the process, we also learn what Love truly looks like. With such knowledge we can never be fooled by dubious characters, peddling false teachings and tainted ‘love’.

Excerpt from a Response to a Media Request for an Interview Regarding Cults.

Written by Jesus

April, 2013

No matter what you have heard from other members of the media, we do not have a religion or a cult. All Mary and I do is speak at seminars we provide for free, provide information for free over the internet about Divine Truth, and share Divine Truth with anyone who questions us where possible. Just because we claim that we are Jesus and Mary Magdalene, it does not mean that we fit your assumptions of what persons making those claims would normally be like. We do not have any person staying with us where we live. We live on a 40 acre private property that I purchased quite some time ago when I was still computer programming. No-one else lives with us. We have no experience of living in a cult, and we are not “cult leaders” as the media has falsely claimed, we have no “following”, we do not interact with the same people on a day to day basis, we do not manipulate and control people, since that is against our teachings of love and the honouring of the free will of the individual, and so I could not provide you with any perspective on the matter aside from my own opinion.

I have also placed my comments about Cults on our Divine Truth FAQ YouTube channel for anyone who wishes  to see the truth about what we do, along with my general comments about cults and cult leaders as well. I do feel that many cults on earth are quite destructive, but I also feel that there are many institutions on the planet that are just as destructive in their teachings, because they are not based around love. I include some orthodox religions, economic institutions, political movements, and other professions amongst these destructive institutions. As I said, anything that does not honour the free will of the individual, promote the exercise of love in our day to day life, and allow for the discovery of further Truth, scientific and otherwise, is destructive.

I have a lot of compassion for people who have been a part of cults, and I do completely understand why people are attracted to them. I feel these attractions begin often because of the unloving treatment of parents towards their children, and this makes their children susceptible to the influence of self-installed “authority” figures when they become adults. In addition, many claims are made in the name of God, and people are even encouraged to go to war, and perpetrate violence, for the sake of their “Gods”. This is all cult-ish behaviour on the part of the people encouraging such actions. I have spoken of these things in my Divine Truth FAQ channel.

 *******

I feel that the general population has a huge amount of fear regarding “cults”, and they bring this fear, which I believe comes from their childhood, and their experiences of being controlled and manipulated by society as children, into their adult life. As adults, we usually operate either in agreement to, or rebellion of, unhealed emotional issues from our childhood. This means that we are either attracted to persons who are “cult-like” authority figures, or we could say more like the impression we had of our own parents, or repelled by and afraid of such persons (and sometimes have both reactions at different times, just like when we were children).

If I, within myself, felt secure in my own search for truth, and honoured my own free will to make choices and decisions for myself no matter what other people in society or my family or friends generally thought, and understood what love really acted like, and could determine when someone was truly unloving in their actions towards me, then I would not feel the need to either follow a “cult-leader” or fight against one. I would feel secure in my own choices and decisions, and I would be able to change my mind at any time. I would not listen to anyone who manipulates me or attempted to manipulate or control me through force or threats, since I would see such an action as harming my own free will choice, and being out of harmony with love.

A person with conviction in their own belief system will be firm for what they believe, but they, if they were loving, would never force (either verbally, emotionally or physically) their belief system upon me, and require that I change my own belief system without applying logic and love to the analysis of the belief system they are sharing. They would honour my ability to choose for myself what I wish to believe, even if it disagrees with their own concept of what is right and true. Most religions do NOT do this. They instead attempt to force their beliefs, along with the threat that God will destroy or punish me at some time in the future for having the wrong belief. I feel that God does not punish us for wrong beliefs. I feel that the only penalties in the universe are for acting out of harmony with Love, and so, people who attempt to force me into a belief system are acting out of harmony with love and will eventually feel the weight of their own unloving actions. The pain and suffering in this world are the direct results of society acting out of harmony with Love.

I also feel that society has many false beliefs surrounding what is acceptable when we are a child, compared to what is acceptable when we are an adult. For example, the average Christian believes, as the Bible states in Proverbs 13:24 “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” For the average reader of this verse, it justifies spanking the child, or acting violently towards the child, in the name of “love”. So, many people feel justified in hitting their own children as a result, as a form of “discipline”. But if we hit an adult with a stick or even with our hand (even with the intention of correcting them), government law in most Western nations views that as violent assault, for which we can be incarcerated. So, a violent and terrifying act towards a child is tolerated by society (for many reasons including the parents concept of “ownership” over their child, and the acceptance of religious books that promote violence), and, at the same time, the same action perpetrated towards an adult is called a violent crime. This is a measure of the hypocrisy of society, allowing a violent action towards a child who cannot protect itself from such an act, while at the same time attempting to protect an adult who experiences or is threatened by the same violent act.

The result of this is that very few people have a correctly aligned “compass” when it comes to determining what real Love would do. Unfortunately there are many times when we are tolerant of what society calls “heinous crimes” towards children, for many reasons religious and otherwise, and I have only provided one example. These crimes are not tolerated towards adults. Of course, when those children grow up, it makes sense that their own concept of what love is will be severely crippled, and therefore, it becomes difficult for them to determine who actually loves them, and who is just making statements of “love” without any real love being present. It causes them to be open to people who use many words of “love”, but who do not have loving feelings or actions. It opens them to concepts that are flawed when examined by love, and they readily accept such flawed concepts, since those same concepts were forced upon them as children. It will also be very difficult for them to correctly reason about whether the group of people they are becoming involved with actually promote really loving teachings and actions.

As you say, society must learn “where to draw the line”, and I feel the line must be drawn by the thought I mentioned in my previous email to you, and that is; “anything that does not honour the free will of the individual, promote the exercise of love in our day to day life, and allow for the discovery of further Truth, scientific and otherwise, is destructive,” and needs to be corrected. This line would apply whether the problem is exposed within a family, within a community, within an organisation, within a religion, within a government, or within a country. If this line was consistent in all circumstances, then each individual, including children, could feel safe to explore the world and continue their own quest for truth without fearing potential violence, control, manipulation or any other act which would harm its own expression of free will. Then all of us would feel comfortable in the world, whether we had different belief systems or not.

What I am suggesting is that eventually we all need to agree about what is loving behaviour, and what is unloving, and make a personal choice to live in harmony with what is defined as loving. But this will need to be done with logical and reasonable discussion, not with emotive belief systems that have no bearing on logic, not relying on books (religious or otherwise) written hundreds or even thousands of years ago that are obviously flawed when we examine them from the perspective of love, or by reverting to character attacks of others just because they have a different opinion to ourselves.

Just my thoughts towards the discussion for what they are worth.

You can check out more from Jesus about cults here.

He’s so wise my guy.

I love how relaxed and jovial he is answering questions about cults! Every media outlet I’ve encountered accompanies such discussions with ominous, foreboding music. Jesus just cracks a smile and answers without hesitation or fear.

{Notes On} Missing the Gifts

I know of a woman, who, after eagerly anticipating the birth of her first child, took one look at him after delivery and said “But he’s a blond.” She refused to wash, hold or nurse him for days after his birth. She had anticipated a cherub with brown hair and eyes, and couldn’t accept the blue eyed beauty who arrived.

This woman had no appreciation for the utter wonder of this small new being, a child of God, grown in her womb and birthed by her.  She was not awed by the miracle of birth, or the gift that God offered her in the privilege of becoming a parent – which is the opportunity to learn about love, and God’s very nature through our own lived, visceral, heart-tugging experience with another being, a child.

She wanted a brown haired baby, and this one was blond. So he was rejected.

I know of another woman who felt certain that her long-standing boyfriend was soon to propose to her. She collected jewellery catalogues pondering which ring she would love to wear. When she found one she liked she strategically left her chosen ring circled in the pages, lying around her apartment. She was hoping her man would take the hint.

Sure enough, the day arrived when after a long and beautiful date that the boyfriend had planned, (culminating on the deck of a yacht no less), he got down on one knee and produced a ring box. This was it – her long anticipated moment. He asked to spend the rest of his life with her.

And yet as he opened the ring box her face suddenly fell in disappointment. He had purchased another ring! Her ‘perfect moment’ was suddenly marred as she gazed into the ‘wrong’ glittering diamond arrangement.

It turned out that she had previously marked another ring in the catalogue and the diligent boyfriend has seen this and bought it, thinking it was what she wanted.

After accepting his proposal, she promptly insisted that he go back and exchange the ring for the correct selection.

This woman could overlook the huge gratification of having the man that she professed to love, actually loving her back. (No small gift in itself people).

She could forget that this same man loved her so much that he wanted to spend, not just the afternoon, but the rest of his life with her, and only her.

She wasn’t interested that he was attentive enough to even notice a jewellery catalogue in her home, and to look to at it in order to attempt to make her dreams come true.

Nope, she felt that he ‘ruined’ the moment by not getting it exactly right.

True story.

So why am I telling you all this?

I’m telling you because these are examples of people who, because of their own agendas, overlooked gifts that were offered to them. Their examples might sound extreme to you? But I didn’t use them so that you could shake your head and judge these women.

No, I’m telling you because as I look at my own life and I see that I have been showered with gifts, and I have rejected so many of them because they didn’t come in the package or way that I wanted or anticipated. A lot of times, it is only with hindsight that I even recognise that a gift was even being offered.

I’m telling you because often we see the absurdity and hurtfulness in other people’s actions, but at the same time overlook how we ourselves are acting in very similar ways.

gift

About five years ago, I had just returned from living overseas for an extended period. It had been a time of great personal change, new experiences and exposure to new ideas. I was at a point where I knew that I wanted to reassess what my life was all about.

I’d experimented with my career. I’d taken up more post-grad study. I’d recently broken up with a partner. While I thought I knew some things about what I wanted, there was a whole lot of stuff that just didn’t sit right about my future direction and life values. I sort of knew what I didn’t want, but internally I didn’t think I could get what I really dreamed of – because that stuff just doesn’t work in the ‘real world’, right?

Around this time my friend Jessica invited me to go out for dinner in Brisbane with her and some of her work colleagues and friends. After dinner we piled into a near-by night club called ‘Fridays’. Having lived in Brisbane for four years while I studied for my degree, being back in ‘Fridays’ brought back many memories of my uni days, not all of them were fun or flattering (smile). This night, I distinctly remember standing very soberly on the edge of a dance floor, surrounded by people of various ages and in varying degrees of inebriation and thinking “Here I am back in a familiar place, yet I feel so different. What is my life really all about anyway?”

I chose that moment to pray. Strange I know, but there it is.

Now, back then I wasn’t what you would call a formal ‘pray-er’. In fact I hadn’t explored my own feelings enough to decide what I really believed about God. But from what I now know about true prayer, I can tell you that I most definitely prayed at that moment.

Here’s what I prayed:

“God, please let me find the one man who is for me. I want the partner who will share my passions, and dreams, who will want to make a life together, a life that is about something meaningful and true. I want the ‘forever’ man who will be my friend and partner and who will want what I want for the world.”

It was a strong feeling, that I felt explode out of me like a shock wave. Then I just went back to making small talk with the journos I’d had dinner with.

You know what comes next in this story don’t you?

The next week AJ gave a talk at my parent’s home and he and Cornelius stayed overnight. It wasn’t a huge, harps playing, thunder clap kind of moment. I wish I could tell you that doves appeared in the sky and we gazed knowingly into each other’s eyes.

The event passed for me without much conscious acknowledgement (although many emotions were stirred). AJ was famously tongue tied, and I spent most of the time telling Corni about my travels, interspersed with me directing some pointed questions towards AJ about the Course in Miracles or something or other.

I couldn’t see the gift.

In fact, as is by now well recorded, as I got to know AJ I vacillated between extremes of attraction towards him and intense rejection, anger and denial of any feeling toward him.

Quite simply, meeting AJ triggered every fear and deeply suppressed sense of loss inside of me. So extreme was my fear and its denial, that I didn’t see our relationship as a gift. In fact I hardly saw his true personality at all. I rejected my feelings, resented the truth, and did a great many things to harm him and the possibility of us being together.

With every gift that God gives us He desires that we come to know ourselves more fully. And that we may be drawn by our own desire to grow closer to Him. This often means confronting the errors and blocks we have to knowing God’s Nature, Love and to recognising the Wisdom inherent in His Design.

I feel now that my meeting AJ again was perhaps the best gift I have ever, ever received – even better than our very first meeting in the 1st century. Yet at the time not only did I reject this gift, I resented the sense of a loss of control and terror of attack, that our meeting triggered in me.

The creation of our soul mate is an immense gift. It is the gift that delivers the exact answer to my prayer made in the night-club five years ago. Even in our injured state, being in a relationship with our soul mate has immense power to help us grow and know ourselves. Even if both halves of the soul are injured or hurting, if they desire to know and heal themselves, they naturally and automatically become a support, inspiration and example for the other simply through their own self-expression and journey.

But I literally couldn’t see or receive these gifts until I developed humility to my own fear and pain. The resistance to my own self caused me to be blind to what gifts I had received and was being offered.

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Our friend Josh always says that God’s Law of Attraction brings you Truth in a graded way – first as a feather, then as a brick, and then as a truck. Meaning that God is gently trying to bring us towards Truth all the time, and when we engage our soul’s desire to grow and yet keep overlooking the feather-weight Truths that nudge us, a stronger attraction is required to wake us up to our error, enter the brick. And if we still deny or resist he brings us a truck sized event, all in the effort to help us see how we err from Love and Truth.

Imagine if we could all wake-up to the feathers brushing up against us, designed to show us our errors. If we saw these nudges and worked in our hearts on releasing their causes, our awareness and appreciation of gifts would overwhelm us.

openheart

I know that it has become fashionable in recent years to keep a ‘Gratitude Diary’ as a way of counting blessings, and seeing gifts. The problem with this approach is that we aren’t already automatically seeing and feeling the gifts. Instead we are employing a technique to grow our awareness. In principle I’m not opposed to any non-violent practice that assists a person to grow their awareness. Awareness is the first step we take when healing a problem, or opening to a gift.

However the problem with simply keeping a journal and not pausing to reflect more deeply to ask ourselves why we weren’t already noticing these gifts and rejoicing in them in our daily life, is that the practice will require constant repetition in order to provide any sense of joy. The joy cannot be deep and lasting because we are already suppressing or avoiding the feelings that prevent the natural recognition of gifts.

In my own example, it didn’t matter how intellectually aware I was of the gifts of my soul mate’s love, support and acceptance of me. While I justified my fear and pain, I simply didn’t honour or feel them as gifts. Until I was willing to be humble to my true feelings I couldn’t see that God had answered my prayer; instead I believed that He had dealt me a poor hand in life.

In the experience of the first women above, the emotions triggered by the birth of a son whose appearance reminded her of something painful, marred her joy at motherhood. So intense was the experience, that she couldn’t manufacture gratitude. Her only solution would have been to explore her reaction emotionally in order to resolve it and open her heart to her child.

In the second example, the woman had closed her heart to love, and instead lived in the injuries of façade. She believed that love equated to providing her with material things, and fulfilling her every wish. She literally could not see the gift of her boyfriend’s love and fidelity because she was obsessed with appearance, fanfare, and tradition. She demanded the fulfillment of her obsessions, rather than seeing what of value was being offered.

Intellectually counting gifts in order to grow gratitude is only effective if we understand that in a truly humble place we would not need to count our gifts – they would already be blindingly apparent and abundant on a moment to moment basis. So if we are using an intellectual technique to notice our gifts, in order to grow we must be willing to take the next step which is to heal our injuries that prevent us seeing receiving these gifts without the need for technique.

Also, if we try for gratitude, we can quickly end up in a stuck and self-punishing state. We can use our mind to see or count gifts around us, and yet finding that our heart is dead to them, we can end up berating ourselves. For example, I spent many nights punishing myself, because I had vast evidence of my soul mate’s kindness, patience and generosity with me and others, and I could see that I was not feeling grateful for these things. In fact I was actively rejecting and criticizing them.

By trying to be grateful, trying to manufacture gratitude because we ’know it’s the right thing to be’, we can end up creating a hell of self-flagellation for ourselves.

The only way to truly notice and receive gifts is to open our hearts and heal the injury that blocks us to receiving in the first place. Our lives lived in suppression of emotion cause us to seek out addictive and damaging prizes, rather than notice and honour the true and nourishing gifts that God and others offer us. It’s like trying to suppress a deep hunger with sugary sweets, that don’t stay in our stomach long and rot our teeth. Our real hunger and thirst is to feel and know ourselves and God, but most of us feel that’s frightening and dangerous so we bail out and deny.

Yet when we close down the experience of one emotion, we close down the potential experience of others. If we shut down our pain and fear, we can’t feel love or gratitude. It’s as simple and difficult as that.

I can tell you from lived experience that once you begin to open your heart to whatever is in there, without self-punishment, and with a desire to love and heal, gratitude is a natural result.

Can I inspire you today friend? The benefits of opening to our pain are not just a stronger sense of self, greater potentials of a relationship with God and a more loving lifestyle and relationships. Undertaking the journey of healing ourselves literally makes life come alive with a knowledge and experience of the gifts that God has offered.

I feel some pain as I begin to feel how many gifts I have overlooked, rejected or simply let pass me by in life. But there is also the excitement of knowing that as I continue, and grieve and grow, the gifts begin to appear in technicolour all around me.

Do you remember the wonderful world of Walt Disney – full of colour and magic? I liken those images to how life comes alive as we grow. The gifts spring out at us, to be relished and received readily.

But in order to live this we must be willing to examine our expectations, our agendas, and our preconceptions in the light of what is loving and what honours Truth. Only when we are willing to allow the pain of past hurts and the discomfort of letting go of unloving expectations can we even begin to notice the gifts being offered. And this is the first step in coming to discover and embrace the beauty and fulfillment that God has planned for us.

I have been blind to the many blessings and opportunities offered to me until I at last found the courage to begin to open my heart to all that was within it.

I even received the exact thing that I prayed for within one week of my prayer. But I missed the gift because I didn’t expect or want his name to be Jesus.

Disney Alice in Wonderland

George’s Testimony {The Great Experiment Series}

Last year, we travelled to Barbados and I had the chance to meet and stay with some of AJ’s old friends, George and Calena.

I loved getting to know them and especially hearing from George about his experiences with Divine Love and Truth. On the last day of our stay I also had the extreme honour of channelling George’s guides to him. There is something so special about feeling a guide’s love for their friend on earth. I never tire of this process.

I also get to feel some of the pristine qualities that draw specific guides to their individual charges on earth i.e. what soul qualities they have in common. So its like catching a slight hint of the person on earth’s true personality and potential, for just a moment. As I said – huge honour.

George is a great story teller. During our stay he told me of his first experience with ‘The Great Experiment’ and it was gripping! He is very expressive, descriptive and full of passion for God.

So when I decided to put together this series it seemed natural to ask him to write the story of his receiving Divine Love for the first time. Of course, some of that expression is lost in the written (rather than spoken) word but I still love his story.

Thank-you George – over to you.

Image

George & Calena

This is my testimony and findings concerning GODS DIVINE LOVE which is still available to all mankind.

Some years ago, I believe it was in 1999, my wife’s sister, aged 46, passed away suddenly one night. This of course was shocking to all the family to say the least. In the interim a friend through our network, Brenda, gave my wife a brochure entitled: “What happens when you die” She wasn’t up to reading it for some reason so she gave it to me to peruse. I found this brochure extremely intriguing as no one really talks about death. Makes one wonder is this what everyone is so afraid of it?

Anyway I asked my wife to ask Brenda if there was a book I could read about this, she told me there were 4 plus, I told her get me book 1 please. I don’t think I had finished 20 pages of the book (that has over 300) before I quickly asked my wife to get me the rest of the books.

My life came to a complete halt. I locked myself in my room (peace and quiet) and read these 4 books written in the early 1900’s by James E Padgett, a lawyer form Washington D.C., and New testament Revelations 3 times consecutively. Non stop. I couldn’t get enough. I ate and came back up to read, more than 12 hours a day.

As I read in the beginning these folks writing to Padgett and one thing kept repeating itself over and over and over again…

“PRAY IN ALL EARNESTNESS FOR THE FATHERS LOVE TO OPEN AND COME IN YOUR SOUL”

I hung onto those words and still do like my life depends on it. There is no greater truth that mankind can know, while this privilege is still available.

So the first day I prayed and prayed… nothing seemed to happen.. I broke down and prayed some more and…. zip.

nothing happened.

I kept reading and this same message kept repeating itself from so many different spirits..

So the second day…. I prayed some more, but when I awoke the 3rd day I had the realization that I hadn’t prayed as strong as I had the first day.

Well this 3rd day praying, I let it all go the words IN ALL EARNESTNESS, and read the Prayer for the Divine Love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U5WqJifVok

I left it all on the table that day.. I broke right down and prayed.

When I look back on that day I realize why I didn’t feel anything right away. I was crying so intensely, wanting to experience the Love so much, that I was in fact expiating quite a bit of negative emotions. (But that is another story).

So I woke up the 4th day. Oh what a glorious morning it was as I sat in bed and felt this beautiful deep glow around the heart region.

It was so beautiful.

It lasted the entire day. I didn’t know that when I woke on the 5th day, the same strong feeling would not be there. Instead I experienced the SOUL LONGINGS, which simply means your soul longing for more.

This is not just a mere thought or words or expressions, but Real True and hard felt emotions. My life has totally changed since.

This is my testimony.

Wishing your soul desires to all come true.

Your brother and friend in the Fathers Divine Love,

George

Forgiveness, Me & The Midnight Hours

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”

Mahatma Gandhi

You should know this – I love the principles of forgiveness. I believe in them.

In fact I believe, that the use of our will in the experience of true repentance and true forgiveness, forms the very basis of our relationship with God.

Soul-based forgiveness and repentance create the conditions under which the holy spirit may connect to us in a spirit of truth – and in those moments God may Love Us.

In addition to that, the forgiveness I have received and given in this life, are among most precious gifts and moments I can recall.

Yet here I am at 2am, filling a page with notes on forgiveness. I’m writing to you, but mainly for me, because my heart needs to hear me state the truth of such good and Godly things.

To be quite honest, forgiving the pain in my past, well, I’m not finding it altogether easy.

Forgiveness requires humility. And not just your off-hand ‘oh, yes, I can acknowledge that that event hurt’, brush away a few sly tears,  kind of recognition of pain. Its got to be sincere. Its got to involve a wide open heart, and a willingness to scan the deep recesses of one’s soul.

All in a day’s work for people like you and me, right? Well, maybe not quite.

Truthfully, I’m a bit knotted up in the tummy over the next phase in this journey, yet I’m determined to do it right this time.

My quest to get real on this topic is revealing to me that, despite my tendency get all misty eyed and passionate over the concepts of forgiveness, there are many (many, many) ways that, instead of embracing a process of forgiveness, I have in fact avoided myself and the truth. And I’ve incurred quite a bit of damage to others in the process.

I’m not falling into a deep pot-hole of self-hate about it, but here, tonight, I’m calling myself to account.

What code do I truly want to live by: One that honours fear, and cursorily acknowledges truth? Or a practice that honours truth, and simply allows my fears to be released in this process?

When I honour fear, I live by fear’s dictate. I might pay lip service to God’s Wonderful Truths, but when push comes to shove, fear gets the final say.

When I honour Truth, I let fear be present and felt, but I live by God’s Laws.

If I truly want to forgive, I’m going to honour through word, feeling and deed, that this process of forgiveness is powerful, healing and truly works. I’m going to face my fear, and hurt, without complaint, restraint and with definite intention to heal.

So What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness can only be born once we have a deep desire to know and feel our own selves, including our pain. In this, we relinquish any desires for commiseration, retribution or short-cuts.

Forgiveness means facing the past. It means connecting to whatever pain is there – be that pain as a result of someone’s direct actions, their inaction, or our perception of their actions[*]

Forgiveness involves allowing and feeling the pain of unloving actions done to you, and releasing it forever.

Magically, letting go of pain enables truth to flow to us – the whole truth of what really happened and the Truth that we are lovable and worthy.

It can’t happen in reverse, truth always follows humility, which is why our desire to embrace our pain is so essential.

The entire process is actually so simple that, as children, we naturally knew how to do it, without thought or teaching. God created us to forgive, She built our capacity for it into the very fabric of our soul. It is through forgiveness that can stay connected to our true selves. It grants us freedom to let go of the past, and to dream anew for our future.

But somewhere along the way, we were taught to fear emotion or to fear the punishment we received when expressing it. Or we were continually placed in harmful situations, so we learnt that there was no point to releasing the pain. We shut down as a coping mechanism.

Then we went out into a world saturated with demands for ‘rights’, for justice. We see movies that glorify those who seek violent revenge to protect the weak and innocent. Often we are taught that forgiveness is weak and that if we do it we will allow ourselves to be hurt again and again.

Does Forgiveness Make us Weak?

The truth is that when we truly, authentically forgive, we are far less likely to allow ourselves to be harmed in the same way again. Why? Because in the process of forgiveness we must come face-to-face with the wrong that has been done to us. We grieve this hurt and release it from us.

These two actions – grieving the hurt and facing the truth – protect us from future harm in the following ways:

We no longer live in denial

When we face the hurt and the truth of what has been done, we are no longer in denial. Often we enter states of denial in an attempt to create a kind of ‘buffer’ between ourselves and our own pain. This can work for a while, but  it also means we are less sensitive to what is actually happening right now. In this state, of using our will to be less sensitive to what is going on around us, we often allow ourselves to be hurt again and again, by numerous people.

In engaging the beginnings of forgiveness, we face our pain, meaning that we no longer have the buffer. We are again sensitive to what hurts and more likely to withdraw or stand up to harm directed towards us – not less.

Forgiveness is not compliance

True forgiveness never means denying the truth or responsibility of anyone’s actions. So even though we forgive, we may still choose to remove a violent or harmful person from our lives, until a time when we feel that they have repented.

In fact, having gone through this process, we are more in touch with our own self-care and respect, since in order to forgive, we have had to face that the harm done to us was not deserved.

Forgiveness generates discernment

Before we forgive, we carry our wounds from the past with us. Like a huge set of mismatched luggage, we cart all our baggage with us into every encounter. This baggage is a conglomeration of trapped emotions relating to (sometimes hundreds) of painful events in the past. Emotions are trapped when, as children, we were denied the opportunity to experience the full extend of our fear, pain, shame or powerlessness.

But here’s the thing, because its trapped, because we are afraid to feel it, because we live in a state of always trying to look forward to the next destination, trying desperately to ignore the heavy burden of carting all those cumbersome suitcases, we aren’t very sure about what bit of the hurt fits where, and with whom.

We might know that we are afraid of being hurt, but we haven’t released the pain of exactly who betrayed us – so we cast that fear out like a huge blanket over everyone in our emotional vicinity. We may feel the deep, and persistent, tug of fear and unworthiness around the edges of our day but we are afraid to discover its exact roots. So we end up seeking relationships and situations based solely on avoiding these feelings – rather ones driven by our true desires and personality.

In all of this – we get lost. We loose the ability to discern who truly loves and cares for us from those who might be there to meet an addiction, or even from those who are still hurting us but we just don’t want to see it.

Engaging the process of forgiveness means that we place the hurt where it belongs. For the first time we can clearly see who has hurt us. And we can now discern and seek out those who have our best interests at heart.

Engaging forgiveness softens us to our pain, but it also makes us strong to our own desires and empowers us in reliable self-care practices.

Here are some inspiring stories about people seeking to live forgiveness in the real world:

Truth & Reconciliation Trials

 “…the cycle of reprisal and counter reprisal that had characterized their national history had to be broken and that the only way to do this was to go beyond retributive justice to restorative justice, to move on to forgiveness, because without it there was no future.”

Desmond Tutu

Forgiveness & Criminal Justice?

Amish Grace

[*] which may or may not be correct – the point is that we must feel what we carry as hurtful feelings towards us, clarity will come as we go.

Live From The Heart: Dane

*** UPDATE: Sorry folks, the issue still exists with this video (the sound drops out half way through) – we are working on rectifying it! I’ll let you know when the video is reloaded properly. Thanks for your patience. M

AJ & I had never met Dane when he completed the following interview with the God’s Way of Love Communications Team.

I found his story both interesting and inspiring. Thanks Dane for sharing your journey.