Category Archives: Growing Great Soul Qualities

In the process of growing towards God we naturally develop strength of character i.e. we remove those parts of ourselves that our unloving, selfish and harmful.

On the journey can stay aware of those qualities that are close to His, and also be conscious if we are neglecting to foster the ethical, moral, or humble character that will lead us closer to Him.

These posts relate to the soul qualities and personal character we will all develop if we are to truly know God.

Previously on.. An Education in Love

Recapping the ‘Developing My Will to Love’ Group

“I like Homeland, but I don’t think it’s as good as that other show, Previously on Homeland. That thing is action-packed.”—Amy Poehler at the 2013 Golden Globe Awards

Watching Group One

I had so much fun binge watching the recordings of our first Assistance Group – Developing My Will to Love.

Just like when I’ve seriously watched TV programmes in the past (BSG – I mean you) I went through the full gamut of emotions while watching these groups – anticipation, sorrow, laughter, cringes and so on.

I called Jesus on numerous occasions to tell how amazing he was. I wrote down certain things he said verbatim because I want to print them on t-shirts (or maybe tattoo them on my forearm for life-long handy reference).

At various times I talked out loud to the TV screen.

And even though there were no cliff hangers as such, I found there was a definite ‘tension’ between each presentation and its corresponding Q& A session. I had to see what would happen next. (smile)

Not actually being at the groups was so strange for me and it was completely novel to watch each recording just like so many of you overseas must do all the time. I really savoured the experience to sit and see things from a different perspective.

Even though I had been involved in preparing all of the material for these groups, while watching I really focused on receiving the gifts of Jesus’ presentation and everyone’s participation.

Because I approached things this way, I feel I personally gained so much for my own progression while watching.

It’s been a few weeks since I finished all of the videos and the other day I found myself doing a bit of a personal ‘recap’ of the most significant things that have stuck with me. Without referring to any previous notes or watching any video I sat down with my journal and wrote down the lessons from “Developing My Will to Love” that really impacted upon me.

Today I thought I’d write up a list of the questions I found myself naturally answering in case it assists any of you to do your own personal ‘recap’. I believe that it is so worthwhile to reflect on and experiment with some of the truths from our first group before we launch into the next.

If you would like to do some personal reflection on “Developing My Will to Love” here are some questions that may assist you:

What are some of the key points from the group that have stuck with me?

What were the injuries within me that I discovered that are impacting on my personal relationship with God, myself and others?

What lessons, truths and/or moments had the most impact on me emotionally?
(These emotionally charged moments are a clue to truths, lessons or emotions that have can have immediate positive impact on my progression if I continue to focus on them).

What did I learn?

What didn’t I understand? What frustrated me? When did I feel most resistive?
(These are also important clues to areas that are holding me back from more rapid progress).

What experiments am I engaging in relation to the material presented?

Has anything changed (have I taken any different action, do I respond differently to anything in my life) since I watched/ attended the group? If not, why not?

Some additional questions that can be useful to help in working through resistance to specific issues are:

What is my investment in not accepting this statement/opinion as truthful?

What fear would it challenge if I did?

What grief would it expose if I did?

In what way would accepting this truth cause me to act differently?
What emotion don’t I want to feel in relation to that action?
E.g. Fear of disapproval, fear of exposure

How would living as if this is the truth make me feel separate from key people in my life?
Why? What is my investment in feeling the same or accepted?

Is my judgement of this information as untruthful based on any evidence?
If so, from where did I get that ‘evidence’? Is it from personal experience?
Is it based on other people’s opinions?
If it’s from personal ‘experience’, how connected & present was I at the time?
Is my recall of what happened based on actual events?
Or is it blurred by suppressed fear and grief or anger?

Is there a way I can safely experiment to test for myself if it is true or not?

If you attended the group, or watched it on YouTube, I highly recommend doing your own personal ‘recap’, answering some of the questions I placed above. Not only is this exercise helpful in getting the most out of the last group, but if you plan to attend the next group (or watch it), it will help you to engage constructively the new material as well.

I haven’t shared my recap notes because obviously everyone’s reflections are personal and specific to their own progression and soul work. However, I couldn’t resist compiling just some of my favourite truths or perspectives I gained from viewing and I’ve pasted them at the bottom of this post. And my previous ‘Jesus Quote’ post on the blog comes directly from one of the presentations as well.

I’m pretty excited about our next group. Jesus has some excellent material to share with those who are attending. I hope you all love it as much as I loved helping him prepare it.

If you haven’t booked a place in Group 2 but would still like to attend there are some places available in Group 2.1 starting May 20th.

If, like me, you are planning to watch the “Developing My Loving Self” groups on video once they are available here is a funny video on the dangers of binge watching:

 

An Education in Love – Developing My Will to Love – Mary’s Highlights

These are just some personal notes and aren’t intended as a proper ‘recap’ of the content of the group.

Contrary to Amy Pohler’s preference for the recap of Homeland over the actual programme, I highly recommend watching both groups in full (smile). My, or anyone else’s recap, can’t hope to do it justice.

The World’s Definition of Love

The world’s definition of love is basically a bunch of fear based beliefs that foster addiction and co-dependence.

God’s definition of Love will be free of any fear or fear based reasoning.

God’s definition is mostly in opposition to the world’s definition.

Unless I give up my addiction to gaining approval from the world, I will not act or experience enough to gain God’s definition of Love.

Any fears of confrontation, rejection and ostracism I retain will negatively impact upon my progress in gaining an education in love. Any fears I hold onto will ultimately prevent my connection with God.

Most of the worldly education I have received has reinforced false beliefs within me, so part of using my will to love will be challenging those fears and releasing my worldly (family) education.

In order to gain God’s definition of love, I must be willing to disagree with most of the world, most of the time.

The Four Tools for Progression

Before, during and since the groups I have engaged some personal experiments with the four tools for progression that Jesus talked about. (Faith, Truth, Action and Emotion).

I’ve found that experimenting with any single one gives me insight into my resistance towards all the others. Perhaps at a future group I’ll be able to talk about that some more. But I highly recommend purposeful experiments with any one (or all) of the four tools for progression.

I’ve enjoyed finding out how closely related all four of these tools are and how we do end up working on all four in tandem.

Faith

Development of my faith is completely under my control.

If I don’t have any faith it’s because I am actively resisting developing it.

Part of developing my will to love is taking responsibility for my lack of faith. I actively maintain a lack of faith by:

  • resisting taking loving actions
  • resisting releasing painful past experiences

Faith in badness, sin and error damages me and others.

I have an investment in maintaining a lack of faith because it provides me with justification to not act, to not feel, and to not experiment with God’s Way.

In other words – even though I want to tell myself that my lack of faith is painful – I actually prefer to have a lack of faith because I can use it as an excuse to avoid many of my fears.

My faith in God, God’s Goodness and Love is something I can develop. Developing faith is NOT a passive process. It involves being humble to my pain and fear and taking positive action. This is a loving use of my will.

Action

Unless I act, I cannot grow faith.

Unless I act differently I cannot challenge false beliefs (fears).

Feeling all the emotion in my soul is meaningless if I am unwilling to act in harmony with love.

Unless I act in accordance with the truth I have already learned and discovered I will degrade in my condition.

Taking action is powerful. Action is vital to all progress.

The areas in my life where I have the most fear are significant. Acting and changing in these areas will bring about rapid and substantial improvements in my day-to-day happiness.

I loved the discussion in one Q&A about the long-term effect (distress) that comes from not resolving issues and remaining inactive in regards to awareness of problems. Jesus talked about how when we become aware of a personal issue and resolve it rapidly we can attain a state of happiness until the next problem or personal issue becomes apparent.

On the other hand, if we gain awareness of problem after problem and take no action to resolve it, life becomes more and more miserable and we enter higher and higher states of distress. There was also a graph involved in this explanation (I love graphs and diagrams!). I recommend checking that discussion out if you haven’t already.

Humility & Emotion

I found it very moving when in one Q&A discussion Jesus spoke about his choice to actively ‘be humble’ even when situations are very challenging and he is being attacked.

This brief discussion caused me to feel that even though developing humility often feels like something that becomes more and more natural and easy over time, in the end it is a choice. Being humble is an act of will.

It is not something that magically occurs suddenly nor is it a quality that is impossibly unattainable. We can and will choose humility time and again if we want a relationship with God.

Part of one of our outlines for the next group speaks about what that choice actually means:

What I Will Do When I am Humble

  • desire to feel suppressed pain caused by myself or others
  • desire to feel current pain caused by my choices or others
  • desire to feel future possible pain caused by my choice or others
  • release emotions that negatively control beliefs, thoughts, and actions
  • awaken to sin, and repent for past sin
  • ask for God’s Love & Forgiveness
  • listen to, absorb, & accept loving thoughts, beliefs & ideas
  • develop, respond to, and act upon, loving longings & desires
  • develop, respond to, and act upon,loving aspirations & intentions
  • develop, respond to, and act upon, loving emotions & feelings
  • plan, decide, and engage loving actions
  • allow externally generated sources to encourage me to do all the above

As a side note, I really noticed how much resistance (fear) both audiences had in any presentation about emotion. There was a lot of personal questioning, resistance to taking on general principles about emotion, an all round wish to deny the reality of the need to feel emotions independently for oneself and attempts to steer Jesus away from addressing crucial points. This indicates how many are still struggling with fear of emotion and have the desire to remain dependent on others when it comes to emotions (rather than take personal responsibility for feeling them).

Aspiration vs Inspiration

It is so important to get real about the difference between when I’m relying on inspiration versus when I experiencing, growing and developing my personal aspiration to change and grow.

How much do I aspire to change? vs. How much do I love feeling reassured, supported and encouraged through receiving inspiration by listening to truth?

There are positive ways I can engage with inspiration and negative ones.

If I use inspiration addictively then my condition degrades. Examples of how I use inspiration addictively:

  • to avoid faith (I ‘rest’ on another person’s faith and rely on them to provide truth, rather than engaging my own experiments)
  • to avoid taking personal action (relying on the person ahead of me to take the action instead, trying to ‘tag on’ to their creations rather than experiencing my feeling of risk and fear by taking initiative with creation)
  • to avoid emotion (I can use inspiration to reassure me that everything will be ‘alright’ in the end – avoidance of fear, I can use it to avoid feeling ‘all alone’ in my life.
  • to avoid confrontation of personal truth (focus on external and universal truth and avoid seeing my life as it really is right now and the effects of how I am currently using my will)

This addictive process is the OPPOSITE of developing my will to love!

To positively engage with inspiration I will use it to assist me in:

  • confronting my resistance
  • engaging my own experiments
  • taking personal responsibility for my life as it is right now (which is the result of my own actions)

In other words, if I positively engage with inspiration it will assist me in growing my personal aspiration.

My personal aspiration is not dependent on external circumstances, relationships etc. My personal aspiration comes from within and is an aspect of me embracing the use of my will actively and it will continue to motivate me towards change (without me having to rely on others for things).

Engaging with sources of inspiration is only beneficial if it spurs me towards challenging addiction, facade and false beliefs. When I do challenge these things I begin to develop my will to love.

I absolutely loved the discussion in the group about aspiration and inspiration.

Let Yourself Fall from the Plane

Imagine yourself high in the air, a passenger in a small plane. Mid-flight you are calmly sitting in your seat, eating free peanuts and enjoying the scenery from your window seat.

viewfromtheplane

Suddenly, one of the other passengers leaps up, and throws open the door of the plane. Shock fills the cabin.

Everyone else begins to exchange looks, the question written on their faces “What’s going on?”

Someone calls out “Hey, what are you doing?” but the sound of roaring air is all that anyone can hear.

The mystery passenger starts moving through the plane. Sickeningly you realise he is coming towards you.

“Why?!” you think as cold panic begins to creep up your spine. Before you can resist he has undone your seat belt and he grabs you by the shoulders.

Pushing and pulling he drags you towards the open door, air buffets your body and you understand that he means to shove you out into the empty space below.

Without a parachute and thousands of feet up in the air this fall would surely mean death. Wide-eyed, sweat springs from every pore. Your heart is pounding and your voice seems to have cruelly escaped you.

In silent terror you begin to struggle. You desperately grab at anything solid to try to prevent this fate. The fibres of your being are geared to resist, your body is tense.

Clinging to the door frame, your stomach becomes a sudden block of frozen ice as you glimpse the green and brown paddocks far, far below.

And then suddenly, it’s over.

Your hands have loosened from the door frame, the force of the stranger has won and you are free falling, hurtling towards solid earth below.

There is nothing left to do. Your will is surrendered to the fall.

Now, there is only your fear.

**********

My soulmate shared this analogy with me in order to help me better understand the emotional difference between feeling afraid and actually releasing fear.

I believe he was attempting to help me know that:

In order to release fear we must surrender to it.

On the free fall from the plane you don’t talk about your fear, you don’t reason with it.

You don’t intellectually analyze its root cause.

You don’t phone a therapist or a friend.

You don’t have a group therapy session to help you cope.

You don’t seek commiseration, compare notes or consult a text.

You are IN the experience of fear. It dominates your reality and you have no thought or space for anything else.

freefall

While any part of us struggles against fear we cannot let go of it. While we still act to avoid, to mitigate our terror or bargain that we can handle ‘only this portion’ and ‘not that bit of it’ we are not experiencing the emotions that will heal us and change us into beings free from fear.

As you struggled to stay in the plane, no doubt you would have described yourself as terrified. However much of your will was also still involved in resisting[i].

On the free fall to the ground, there is surrender to fear because you know that there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent your circumstance.

Releasing fear also feels like this.

We do not argue with it or rationalise it or do anything at all to try to prevent it. The fear is there and we allow it to overwhelm our senses and experience without resistance or intellectual analysis.

The use of this metaphor is to help us recognise that even in times when we would describe ourselves as feeling afraid most of us are still resisting and attempting to control our terrors and fears. This state does not allow for the release of emotion or changes in our souls.

The story is there to illustrate the difference between fighting at the door and the free fall. In terms of the experience of emotion the two circumstances represent very different states.

But this is where the analogy must end. If I carried it to its completion I would be implying that surrender to fear leads you to physical death.

Actually quite the opposite is true.

Surrender to fear doesn’t lead to you ending up a splattered, dead blob on the ground.

Allowing surrender – without impediment – to the experience of our fears actually prolongs our life and often opens up creative and joyful parts of us that have long been dormant.

It is the denial and suppression of fear that results in certain death.

Surrender to fear actually averts danger.

Allowing our emotions, particularly our fear, means that we become more sensitive to the emotions and motivations of those around us as well. We have clearer, more truthful, perceptions of others and this means that we can make more informed choices and actually act sooner to ensure our safety.

When we release fear we avoid illness, we are more creative and for the first time make joy a real and lasting possibility in our lives.

The release of fear allows us to live in harmony with love and love is the way that we gain life.

If there is any death associated with the surrender to fear is it merely the death of our willingness to honour fear above all else. This is a death to celebrate not mourn.

The major block to the release of fear is that most of us believe that the uncontrolled experience of fear will lead to something worse than death. We believe that there is no point to feeling fear and instead protect and nurse it at all costs. And this is why change does not happen. When we live in these false beliefs, rather than challenging them, we shut down full surrender to fear.

We might experience fear in brief moments but there is no ‘falling from the plane’.

Most people who have heard Divine Truth are at this time in a stagnant place. This is because they are living in their fears or still living in addictions that mask their deepest fears. There is still much ‘fighting at the door’ instead of surrendering to the emotions that are already present within.

[i] It should be noted that I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t resist if someone is literally attempting to throw you from a plane, only to be aware that fear is not passing through us in this place.

On Fear, Quick-Fixes & Standing by What We Believe

Recently someone forwarded me the following clip:

My first thought was – why send me this?

What is shared in this clip is one very basic truth that is discussed and built upon in far more depth and detail in recordings of events that I was present at and can be viewed here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here… in fact there are over 1200 hours of video on our youtube channel that bring a far broader context and meaning to the importance of emotions and discuss how they relate to the human soul, God, absolute truth, eternal growth, physical healing, and much, much more.

So this video is not news to me. The people involved are discussing something that I discovered a long time ago.

So why send it?

I can actually think of about four reasons why a person who knows me might send me this clip.

Below are two.

These are also reasons why I think this video will likely be forwarded in unsolicited emails and shared on Facebook feeds by many people who I know and who come to our seminars.

1. The Dynamics of Living in Fear

I often hear excitement from people we know when an element of Universal Truth that we teach becomes more widely known and discussed.

I know that many would like to claim that this is an innocent joy that arises because of knowledge and feeling that more truth in the world might mean improvement in the lives of others. But mostly I don’t believe it.

Greater than their love for humanity, people who attend our talks often have a fear of being judged and considered outside of the mainstream.

When some element of what is already shared in depth via Divine Truth becomes more ‘acceptable’ to ‘normal’ society it can help those of us who fear this kind of judgment to feel less afraid. ‘Excitement’ can actually be because fear is momentarily avoided, and the addiction to popular acceptance seems like it might be able to be met while still loving Divine Truth after all.

In the six years since I met AJ again I haven’t met a single person who was drawn to him because of his (our) identity claims. Most people listen in spite of the fact that the guy making so much sense is also saying that he is Jesus.

No one worships him. In fact, the reality of how Jesus is treated is so starkly in contrast to this idea that the thought of people blindly adoring him makes me laugh out loud. Most people want to argue with him, to doubt him and delay engaging their hearts with what he teaches for as long as possible.

Nevertheless they still attend and if you ask them why – and I have asked a great many – resoundingly they all say that it’s because what is spoken is the most meaningful spiritual truth that they have ever encountered. They say it satisfies questions they have asked for a lifetime.

Yet I know for a fact that many, indeed most, of these same people don’t talk about their excitement for what they have heard from us with others. They don’t mention that they know us when others speak of us publicly, and most certainly don’t forward our youtube clips.

In fact, people I have known for years, who have asked us to their homes, shared their deepest fears and sought advice from us, still wish to hide from everyone in their lives that they know us at all.

Jesus and I currently exist outside what the mainstream accepts as normal. While many people like what we have to say they still live in fear of themselves being ostracised by others. This means that they often ostracise us. But even more sadly for me is to know that while in the company of others they often diminish or minimise their passion for God and don’t speak freely about what they believe. Instead they speak in terms that they think will be less contentious to others. They do this rather than sharing the broader context of God’s Love, God’s Laws and the human soul and how that has made so much more sense than examining only the fragments that the world currently presents and accepts.

And when someone more ‘publicly acceptable’ than Jesus or I states even a small element of the extensive truth that we have been teaching for 2000 years then the sudden rush to share their message is not always altruistic or noble. It is often led by the desire to have someone else to pave the way, to ‘take the heat’ and to make things easier to live and believe Divine Truth freely without fear of attack or criticism.

Coming from a state of fear, it’s tempting to search for ways to present Divine Truths in a form that isn’t so challenging to others.

But Divine Truth by its inherent qualities and existence challenges all error. So, in order for lasting change to happen challenges can and must occur both within us and around us. The fears in you, and in me, the false beliefs the whole world over, are all going to need to be exposed and dealt with. There is no quick-fix or magic bullet that will get us over that line.

2. The Quick-Fix Phenomenon

The second reason I believe that, at least in the short term, that the E-motion clip will get more hits than most of those on our youtube channel is that most of western society has a diminishing attention span. We are also becoming increasingly comfortable with, and even demanding for, things that require little effort on our part in order for us to feel better.

In this fast paced, globalised, fast food, iPad, facebook world that we live in – that is all geared towards instant gratification – we love sound bites. We love small morsels that we can digest without much mastication, or thought. We want things that are easy.

We live on a media staple of programmes in which someone has already made up their mind about a topic and simply tells us what to think. Journalism, once a profession filled with idealists engaged in the quest to discover and expose truth, has become increasingly dominated by big industry concerns about profit and driven by the need to please a consumer that no longer desires to be challenged. Journalists I meet seem jaded and cynical about the world around them.

The 10 minute grab used in the E-motion promo uses devices we are all by now comfortable with and welcoming of. I suspect that the longer movie will be in keeping with the format of the clip – present a simple idea, expound a little, move on to the next idea. Colour, movement, nicely packaged portions to digest.

While this format can be a handy way to expose people to new ideas, it lacks capacity to delve deep into topics. And sadly, this is what we all seem to want.

We are so geared towards instant gratification that we feel it’s an imposition to attend for longer than brief periods. We want to be able to know without learning. Our attention span is quickly diminishing through conditioning of a world that’s news cycle is so ever changing that we hardly have time to process one great crisis before another is upon us. We are loosing the will to think deeply, to reflect, to consider and to engage in processes that require reasoning and learning. Ironically we are loosing the desire to do exactly what this video is suggesting we need to do – to feel deeply and to change emotionally.

By and large the trend in the west is that more and more people want change to happen in neatly packaged parcels that they can control and direct. Before we even begin, most of us want to be told what to do, for how long, what to expect and what we get as a result of doing it. Frankly, we are becoming dummies limiting our lives and our experience simply because we want to avoid fear and discomfort. When I think of great explorers and discoverers that have changed the face of how we live and the comforts we enjoy today, I know that they did not approach life in this way.

In fact the greatest person I have ever known – across two centuries and much experience –is one who’s spirit of exploration, dedication, patience, humility and desire has led him to discover the Great Truths of God and how we may each encounter them. He did not achieve this quickly; he did not purchase the pre-packaged all expenses paid deal. He set out on a voyage of discovery, without all the answers, without Google and without a therapist.

By contrast to popular mainstream culture, Divine Truth tells us that we are responsible for who we are what we do; that healing is first and foremost in our hands and we can place it in hands of God but only if we will it. It calls us to search ourselves in honesty and humility and to summon our deepest desires and longings in order to know our Creator. It doesn’t give shortcuts.

It does give solid, practical answers that aren’t always easy to hear or to implement when we live steeped in addiction and the desire for immediate gratification. And I happen to know the guy who teaches it best.

He has dedicated his life to sharing these Truths with anyone who will listen, and often in very harsh conditions. I am proud of him and I want the world to know it.

Watching any two hour presentation on the Divine Truth channel is sure to challenge you on one or more levels. It won’t offer you a two minute technique, a tapping exercise or rote prayer with which to engage your Creator or commence your healing. And really, thank goodness for that. Surely our Loving Parent wants more of us than an intellectual recitation or a 5 minutes practice per day. Surely in Her Infinite Love she would want to know our hearts, what pains us, what we dream of and what makes us come alive? She would want us to engage our desire and longings in our relationship with Her. Anyone on Earth who wants to truly know us wants those things from us.

And surely a Parent who really wants the best for us wouldn’t want us to settle into addictions when we could have real joy. He wouldn’t want us to lack ethics and morality, a state that harms not only us but those around us, all for the sake of short-term comfort. He wouldn’t want us to ignore a challenge and limit our lives just because of something as illusory as fear.

Walking the Way means facing our fears, embracing challenges and giving up our addictions to minimum effort for maximum comfort. While I believe that a growing focus on emotional healing would do much to assist the world, I know that it will take more than that for the world and us as individuals to be authentically and lastingly happy.

What is required is humility to new ideas, a love of truth, and a loyalty to ethics and morality no matter the threat or fear we encounter.

notesalongtheway

Postscript:

In this post I speak to you not as someone who is free of fear or who is without the desire for a quick-fix solution to my problems.

But I am someone whom, from lived experience, understands the temptation to want to have others share the journey with Divine Truth so as to not feel so alone and weird. In fact I really would have preferred the entire world to join me in acceptance of who I am and what I believe before I fully committed my heart and life to it.

I long ago left the world of facebook but freely admit that while still a user myself, I was much more likely to share snippets of what I knew to be truth if they were presented by someone other than Jesus. While I knew that Divine Truth was the answer to ending war, poverty, starvation, illness, abuse and every type of suffering I had ever encountered or heard about, I lived in fear about how other people would judge me if they knew everything that I believed. I also thought that I should be a ‘special case’ as my fears were ‘bigger’ since they involved, not only what I believed, but who I am.

Over the years, many times, I have had to face the decision to stand by what I knew to be true or to run and hide in fear. I didn’t always make the moral choice. But sometimes I have and it’s been very, very good for me (smile).

Know this, the fear of being judged, the fear of negative public opinion won’t be gone from you just because Divine Truth becomes more acceptable. Our fears reside within our souls and their existence is not dependent on what happens around us.

Challenging fears and releasing them is a process under our sole and direct control, and even if external acceptances of Divine Truth change, the fear of being ridiculed will not be gone from us until we engage our will to make it so.

I also think that the dynamic I outlined in the post poses some interesting ethical questions to us all:

When new people in the mainstream begin to present other small elements of Divine Truth in a way that society finds less confronting than a man called Jesus stating it, will we be sharing and forwarding that on in all eagerness?

Or will we state that we’d heard it long before from an unassuming Australian guy who practises what he preaches – Truth, Humility & Love – even in the face of attack and condemnation?

Another thing I know for sure is that no truth is easily accepted by the majority if it’s very existence challenges large fears and addictions within that same group.

The world is pretty messed up right now and in order for it to change someone, or some people, will have to show up and disagree with what everyone accepts as normal.

That is my passion, to surrender to what I believe in so fully that no fear will impede my journey, and no threat will be enough to silence my voice or halt my steps towards living an example that demonstrates the power of God to heal all things.

Love,

Mary

Walking the Way: The 1-2-3 of Passion & Desires

On a recent visit to Kyabra, Eloisa reminding of a channeling I had received and shared with her back in 2011.

I had forgotten the channeling and lost my copy so she kindly sent it back to me.

What I love about this message is the way that Rachael and Tim touch on all of the basic principles of The Way – opening our hearts to God’s feelings for us, connecting to our emotional selves, engaging God in an active relationship. They also highlight how living in fear shuts down the natural process of exploring desire and finding our true selves.

Kyabra in Autumn

Personal Mediumship by Mary Luck

Kyabra Station – 27th September, 2011

Dearest sister, please make more time to sit and spend with us. You avoid yourself so constantly and don’t allow yourself to experience the joy of connecting with and discovering yourself. There is much passion, desire and creativity within you that is, as yet, untapped and undiscovered by yourself.

Focus on your passions and desires more consistently – challenge the fears you have about the judgement of others. In other words let yourself:

1. Identify and focus on things you love to do – i.e. to teach, create, explore, share.
2. Do them, and
3. let your fears and emotions be triggered in the process.

At present you begin at 3. i.e.– identifying your fears and grief and anger at the worlds’ possible response to you and your dreams, or your own potential failings

This limits 2. – i.e. it often stops you even beginning to do what you desire,

and then consequently;

1. Is never fully explored because you ‘begin at the end’ of the process.

You pre-empt any possible joy and creativity because you are so focussed on your fear of the third step of the process. Because you view yourself still as this flawed, first century girl, you believe all will end in failure and pain.

This is truly a state of self-reliance. You allow no space for God to help you grow in this process, and you ignore the provisions that God makes through His Loving Laws, in order to assist and protect those who embrace themselves and their desires most fully.

Trust God more in your day-to-day life.

Keep in mind and heart the process you are engaged in – which is to embrace yourself and to heal any injury which prevents the pure expression of self. This is not a passive process, nor is it one that you can be perfect in (or present yourself as perfect in) immediately.

You still believe that your imperfections are proof of your unworthiness and this is a self-defeating injury.

God’s beliefs are different to yours – you must be willing to open your heart to His Feelings for you. This is the fastest way to embrace this process and to trust its efficacy.

Do not believe dear sister that from your state of error you can accurately conceive the wonderful possibilities that are available to you and all of humanity. Be willing to shed your reliance on what you think you know, in favour of a spirit of trust and exploration. You can stay grounded, but let that be a grounding in the goodness that God does demonstrate – not in the hatefulness of mankind who have strayed so far from Him.

We wish you a day full of exploration and discovery.

We would be happy to return to you and discuss the principles of teaching and learning at a later time. With so much love and affection,

Your guides,

Rachael and Timothy.

Fear, Reality & the Gap Between

The law of attraction has been bringing me many opportunities lately to work  with and communicate with people in a lot of fear.

I am myself a person who still has many (many) fears.

But in recent time I have been dealing with people who have somewhat different fears to my own or in situations that I don’t find as scary as they do. This has been an immense gift as it has allowed me to see what it must be like for people around me when I resist experiencing my fears and instead live in them and let them direct my thinking and actions.

I have been given insights into just how damaging living in fear really is and how much fear impairs our perceptions of reality.

I wrote a note to a friend about some of this and I thought others might find it useful as a tool for their own self-reflection.

Dear Sister,

I think that the major lesson or emotion I would encourage you towards is to see how much you feel controlled and pushed when a situation is simply triggering one or more of your fears.

Often the communication or events that are triggering your fears are not controlling or bullying but you feel that they are. This happens because you are resisting your fear. Internally you still believe that feeling fear is ‘impossible’ so you interpret that the person or event is being unreasonable and ‘pushing’ you toward something that is crazy and unloving. In reality they are often just being logical or direct.

I’ve noticed this dynamic in my own life a lot. That is, how I often feel pressured or controlled when fear is triggered. If I allow myself to soften to fear or sometimes even just recognise the fear, I see things far more clearly. Feeling and releasing our fears is definitely the best and most loving thing we can do. It allows us to see reality, not just interpret events through our investment in avoiding fear.

Love,
Mary

blurry vision

Image Source

I Escaped a Cult

The other day my kindly youtube account recommended a number of videos for me. I suspect they do this by scanning the word themes of my subscribed channels and suggesting to me videos with similar tags or themes to those I’ve already watched. (I’m sure there is a specific technical term for this process – if you know maybe you can write it in the comments and I can amend this post!)

Since I subscribe to our Divine Truth Channel as well as our FAQ channel, which now has an entire playlist on cults, one of the videos recommended for me was “I Escaped a Cult” (clip below).

I watched the clip. I wept for these people. I felt about the reasons why people are drawn to cults. I prayed for the healing of those I saw on film and all others who are damaged by such horrible acts and erroneous belief systems about God and Love.

It wasn’t until I was finished with all that watching, feeling and praying that I suddenly realized that loads of people assume that my life is similar to those of the people described in the documentary. It also dawned on me that people might even think that we treat people like the ‘leaders’ in these groups treated the people who told their stories.

Its true that the false, slanderous, misleading and sensationalized media coverage of us in recent years has encouraged people to think in such ways. But I am also aware that many would assume these kinds of things simply based on our identity claims.

Now you might think I’m a little slow on the uptake when it comes to considering how others perceive us. Truth be told, I have (of course) considered it all before.

But given how different my life actually is to what the media has said about it, and given that I actively spend everyday attempting to grow in and extend love, truth and humility to others, and given that I am adored, encouraged and inspired by the man I live with, its easy to forget that people think that I live a tortured, power-hungry life with a narcissistic megalomaniac. So extreme is the contrast in viewpoints that the latter assumption can be swiftly dismissed by my heart and mind as utter absurdity (and is thus difficult to retain).

Put simply, such slander is so daft and uninformed that I don’t think about it much anymore. And I sometimes forget that many people are actually holding onto the daft, uninformed and absurd ideas about who we are and what we stand for.

So at times I still feel suddenly very shocked and naive when I watch these types of documentaries and realize that this kind of abusive behaviour would be associated in the minds of others with my life or belief systems.

You see, we are all about assisting people to end their acceptance of abusive and unloving behaviour. We teach the embracing of free will and that to receive Love from the One Absolutely Reliable Source is the surest way to happiness and growth – no intermediary necessary!

We preach that God is not One who punishes or requires penance in order to receive His Love, nor is any person more important or powerful in God’s Eyes than any other (so if we live in harmony with God’s Laws we would never be able to view each other in terms of hierarchy or to set up abusive power systems on Earth).

In short, we are the most anti-cult people I know.

I’ve written about this subject before, and I was considering writing about it again yesterday. But then Jesus had an email requesting an interview/ opinion on cults and he wrote awesome things. So I’m just going to share his words after the clip of the documentary below.

I know that if you read my blog regularly you might be scoffing at the necessity for me to write about such topics. You’re know you’re not a member of anything and you are completely relaxed in the knowledge that you aren’t in a cult, right?

Well, in my opinion and experience its always good to explore emotions around such topics. They are sensationalized in our media and our lives because many people – no, most people – harbor huge fears about being controlled, manipulated and hurt. (Jesus discusses this in more detail in the text below).

While we deny and suppress these fears, they have power in our lives. Fears of being abused, controlled and manipulated, when left unhealed and unchecked, can cause us to be needlessly suspicious of good people, and/or foolishly trusting of people with bad intentions. They are the very fears that people who want control use to manipulate us e.g. they accuse us of being controlled and manipulated in order to have us change to what suits them or to fall back under their control.

It can sound like a complex issue, and honestly unless we explore our doubts and fears things can become complex and confusing. Thankfully if we are willing to delve deep into our feelings, ask the tough questions, and feel our pain of past hurts and manipulation, we do emerge with the clarity to discern who and what is trustworthy.

If we involve God in the process, we also learn what Love truly looks like. With such knowledge we can never be fooled by dubious characters, peddling false teachings and tainted ‘love’.

Excerpt from a Response to a Media Request for an Interview Regarding Cults.

Written by Jesus

April, 2013

No matter what you have heard from other members of the media, we do not have a religion or a cult. All Mary and I do is speak at seminars we provide for free, provide information for free over the internet about Divine Truth, and share Divine Truth with anyone who questions us where possible. Just because we claim that we are Jesus and Mary Magdalene, it does not mean that we fit your assumptions of what persons making those claims would normally be like. We do not have any person staying with us where we live. We live on a 40 acre private property that I purchased quite some time ago when I was still computer programming. No-one else lives with us. We have no experience of living in a cult, and we are not “cult leaders” as the media has falsely claimed, we have no “following”, we do not interact with the same people on a day to day basis, we do not manipulate and control people, since that is against our teachings of love and the honouring of the free will of the individual, and so I could not provide you with any perspective on the matter aside from my own opinion.

I have also placed my comments about Cults on our Divine Truth FAQ YouTube channel for anyone who wishes  to see the truth about what we do, along with my general comments about cults and cult leaders as well. I do feel that many cults on earth are quite destructive, but I also feel that there are many institutions on the planet that are just as destructive in their teachings, because they are not based around love. I include some orthodox religions, economic institutions, political movements, and other professions amongst these destructive institutions. As I said, anything that does not honour the free will of the individual, promote the exercise of love in our day to day life, and allow for the discovery of further Truth, scientific and otherwise, is destructive.

I have a lot of compassion for people who have been a part of cults, and I do completely understand why people are attracted to them. I feel these attractions begin often because of the unloving treatment of parents towards their children, and this makes their children susceptible to the influence of self-installed “authority” figures when they become adults. In addition, many claims are made in the name of God, and people are even encouraged to go to war, and perpetrate violence, for the sake of their “Gods”. This is all cult-ish behaviour on the part of the people encouraging such actions. I have spoken of these things in my Divine Truth FAQ channel.

 *******

I feel that the general population has a huge amount of fear regarding “cults”, and they bring this fear, which I believe comes from their childhood, and their experiences of being controlled and manipulated by society as children, into their adult life. As adults, we usually operate either in agreement to, or rebellion of, unhealed emotional issues from our childhood. This means that we are either attracted to persons who are “cult-like” authority figures, or we could say more like the impression we had of our own parents, or repelled by and afraid of such persons (and sometimes have both reactions at different times, just like when we were children).

If I, within myself, felt secure in my own search for truth, and honoured my own free will to make choices and decisions for myself no matter what other people in society or my family or friends generally thought, and understood what love really acted like, and could determine when someone was truly unloving in their actions towards me, then I would not feel the need to either follow a “cult-leader” or fight against one. I would feel secure in my own choices and decisions, and I would be able to change my mind at any time. I would not listen to anyone who manipulates me or attempted to manipulate or control me through force or threats, since I would see such an action as harming my own free will choice, and being out of harmony with love.

A person with conviction in their own belief system will be firm for what they believe, but they, if they were loving, would never force (either verbally, emotionally or physically) their belief system upon me, and require that I change my own belief system without applying logic and love to the analysis of the belief system they are sharing. They would honour my ability to choose for myself what I wish to believe, even if it disagrees with their own concept of what is right and true. Most religions do NOT do this. They instead attempt to force their beliefs, along with the threat that God will destroy or punish me at some time in the future for having the wrong belief. I feel that God does not punish us for wrong beliefs. I feel that the only penalties in the universe are for acting out of harmony with Love, and so, people who attempt to force me into a belief system are acting out of harmony with love and will eventually feel the weight of their own unloving actions. The pain and suffering in this world are the direct results of society acting out of harmony with Love.

I also feel that society has many false beliefs surrounding what is acceptable when we are a child, compared to what is acceptable when we are an adult. For example, the average Christian believes, as the Bible states in Proverbs 13:24 “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” For the average reader of this verse, it justifies spanking the child, or acting violently towards the child, in the name of “love”. So, many people feel justified in hitting their own children as a result, as a form of “discipline”. But if we hit an adult with a stick or even with our hand (even with the intention of correcting them), government law in most Western nations views that as violent assault, for which we can be incarcerated. So, a violent and terrifying act towards a child is tolerated by society (for many reasons including the parents concept of “ownership” over their child, and the acceptance of religious books that promote violence), and, at the same time, the same action perpetrated towards an adult is called a violent crime. This is a measure of the hypocrisy of society, allowing a violent action towards a child who cannot protect itself from such an act, while at the same time attempting to protect an adult who experiences or is threatened by the same violent act.

The result of this is that very few people have a correctly aligned “compass” when it comes to determining what real Love would do. Unfortunately there are many times when we are tolerant of what society calls “heinous crimes” towards children, for many reasons religious and otherwise, and I have only provided one example. These crimes are not tolerated towards adults. Of course, when those children grow up, it makes sense that their own concept of what love is will be severely crippled, and therefore, it becomes difficult for them to determine who actually loves them, and who is just making statements of “love” without any real love being present. It causes them to be open to people who use many words of “love”, but who do not have loving feelings or actions. It opens them to concepts that are flawed when examined by love, and they readily accept such flawed concepts, since those same concepts were forced upon them as children. It will also be very difficult for them to correctly reason about whether the group of people they are becoming involved with actually promote really loving teachings and actions.

As you say, society must learn “where to draw the line”, and I feel the line must be drawn by the thought I mentioned in my previous email to you, and that is; “anything that does not honour the free will of the individual, promote the exercise of love in our day to day life, and allow for the discovery of further Truth, scientific and otherwise, is destructive,” and needs to be corrected. This line would apply whether the problem is exposed within a family, within a community, within an organisation, within a religion, within a government, or within a country. If this line was consistent in all circumstances, then each individual, including children, could feel safe to explore the world and continue their own quest for truth without fearing potential violence, control, manipulation or any other act which would harm its own expression of free will. Then all of us would feel comfortable in the world, whether we had different belief systems or not.

What I am suggesting is that eventually we all need to agree about what is loving behaviour, and what is unloving, and make a personal choice to live in harmony with what is defined as loving. But this will need to be done with logical and reasonable discussion, not with emotive belief systems that have no bearing on logic, not relying on books (religious or otherwise) written hundreds or even thousands of years ago that are obviously flawed when we examine them from the perspective of love, or by reverting to character attacks of others just because they have a different opinion to ourselves.

Just my thoughts towards the discussion for what they are worth.

You can check out more from Jesus about cults here.

He’s so wise my guy.

I love how relaxed and jovial he is answering questions about cults! Every media outlet I’ve encountered accompanies such discussions with ominous, foreboding music. Jesus just cracks a smile and answers without hesitation or fear.

{Notes On} Missing the Gifts

I know of a woman, who, after eagerly anticipating the birth of her first child, took one look at him after delivery and said “But he’s a blond.” She refused to wash, hold or nurse him for days after his birth. She had anticipated a cherub with brown hair and eyes, and couldn’t accept the blue eyed beauty who arrived.

This woman had no appreciation for the utter wonder of this small new being, a child of God, grown in her womb and birthed by her.  She was not awed by the miracle of birth, or the gift that God offered her in the privilege of becoming a parent – which is the opportunity to learn about love, and God’s very nature through our own lived, visceral, heart-tugging experience with another being, a child.

She wanted a brown haired baby, and this one was blond. So he was rejected.

I know of another woman who felt certain that her long-standing boyfriend was soon to propose to her. She collected jewellery catalogues pondering which ring she would love to wear. When she found one she liked she strategically left her chosen ring circled in the pages, lying around her apartment. She was hoping her man would take the hint.

Sure enough, the day arrived when after a long and beautiful date that the boyfriend had planned, (culminating on the deck of a yacht no less), he got down on one knee and produced a ring box. This was it – her long anticipated moment. He asked to spend the rest of his life with her.

And yet as he opened the ring box her face suddenly fell in disappointment. He had purchased another ring! Her ‘perfect moment’ was suddenly marred as she gazed into the ‘wrong’ glittering diamond arrangement.

It turned out that she had previously marked another ring in the catalogue and the diligent boyfriend has seen this and bought it, thinking it was what she wanted.

After accepting his proposal, she promptly insisted that he go back and exchange the ring for the correct selection.

This woman could overlook the huge gratification of having the man that she professed to love, actually loving her back. (No small gift in itself people).

She could forget that this same man loved her so much that he wanted to spend, not just the afternoon, but the rest of his life with her, and only her.

She wasn’t interested that he was attentive enough to even notice a jewellery catalogue in her home, and to look to at it in order to attempt to make her dreams come true.

Nope, she felt that he ‘ruined’ the moment by not getting it exactly right.

True story.

So why am I telling you all this?

I’m telling you because these are examples of people who, because of their own agendas, overlooked gifts that were offered to them. Their examples might sound extreme to you? But I didn’t use them so that you could shake your head and judge these women.

No, I’m telling you because as I look at my own life and I see that I have been showered with gifts, and I have rejected so many of them because they didn’t come in the package or way that I wanted or anticipated. A lot of times, it is only with hindsight that I even recognise that a gift was even being offered.

I’m telling you because often we see the absurdity and hurtfulness in other people’s actions, but at the same time overlook how we ourselves are acting in very similar ways.

gift

About five years ago, I had just returned from living overseas for an extended period. It had been a time of great personal change, new experiences and exposure to new ideas. I was at a point where I knew that I wanted to reassess what my life was all about.

I’d experimented with my career. I’d taken up more post-grad study. I’d recently broken up with a partner. While I thought I knew some things about what I wanted, there was a whole lot of stuff that just didn’t sit right about my future direction and life values. I sort of knew what I didn’t want, but internally I didn’t think I could get what I really dreamed of – because that stuff just doesn’t work in the ‘real world’, right?

Around this time my friend Jessica invited me to go out for dinner in Brisbane with her and some of her work colleagues and friends. After dinner we piled into a near-by night club called ‘Fridays’. Having lived in Brisbane for four years while I studied for my degree, being back in ‘Fridays’ brought back many memories of my uni days, not all of them were fun or flattering (smile). This night, I distinctly remember standing very soberly on the edge of a dance floor, surrounded by people of various ages and in varying degrees of inebriation and thinking “Here I am back in a familiar place, yet I feel so different. What is my life really all about anyway?”

I chose that moment to pray. Strange I know, but there it is.

Now, back then I wasn’t what you would call a formal ‘pray-er’. In fact I hadn’t explored my own feelings enough to decide what I really believed about God. But from what I now know about true prayer, I can tell you that I most definitely prayed at that moment.

Here’s what I prayed:

“God, please let me find the one man who is for me. I want the partner who will share my passions, and dreams, who will want to make a life together, a life that is about something meaningful and true. I want the ‘forever’ man who will be my friend and partner and who will want what I want for the world.”

It was a strong feeling, that I felt explode out of me like a shock wave. Then I just went back to making small talk with the journos I’d had dinner with.

You know what comes next in this story don’t you?

The next week AJ gave a talk at my parent’s home and he and Cornelius stayed overnight. It wasn’t a huge, harps playing, thunder clap kind of moment. I wish I could tell you that doves appeared in the sky and we gazed knowingly into each other’s eyes.

The event passed for me without much conscious acknowledgement (although many emotions were stirred). AJ was famously tongue tied, and I spent most of the time telling Corni about my travels, interspersed with me directing some pointed questions towards AJ about the Course in Miracles or something or other.

I couldn’t see the gift.

In fact, as is by now well recorded, as I got to know AJ I vacillated between extremes of attraction towards him and intense rejection, anger and denial of any feeling toward him.

Quite simply, meeting AJ triggered every fear and deeply suppressed sense of loss inside of me. So extreme was my fear and its denial, that I didn’t see our relationship as a gift. In fact I hardly saw his true personality at all. I rejected my feelings, resented the truth, and did a great many things to harm him and the possibility of us being together.

With every gift that God gives us He desires that we come to know ourselves more fully. And that we may be drawn by our own desire to grow closer to Him. This often means confronting the errors and blocks we have to knowing God’s Nature, Love and to recognising the Wisdom inherent in His Design.

I feel now that my meeting AJ again was perhaps the best gift I have ever, ever received – even better than our very first meeting in the 1st century. Yet at the time not only did I reject this gift, I resented the sense of a loss of control and terror of attack, that our meeting triggered in me.

The creation of our soul mate is an immense gift. It is the gift that delivers the exact answer to my prayer made in the night-club five years ago. Even in our injured state, being in a relationship with our soul mate has immense power to help us grow and know ourselves. Even if both halves of the soul are injured or hurting, if they desire to know and heal themselves, they naturally and automatically become a support, inspiration and example for the other simply through their own self-expression and journey.

But I literally couldn’t see or receive these gifts until I developed humility to my own fear and pain. The resistance to my own self caused me to be blind to what gifts I had received and was being offered.

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Our friend Josh always says that God’s Law of Attraction brings you Truth in a graded way – first as a feather, then as a brick, and then as a truck. Meaning that God is gently trying to bring us towards Truth all the time, and when we engage our soul’s desire to grow and yet keep overlooking the feather-weight Truths that nudge us, a stronger attraction is required to wake us up to our error, enter the brick. And if we still deny or resist he brings us a truck sized event, all in the effort to help us see how we err from Love and Truth.

Imagine if we could all wake-up to the feathers brushing up against us, designed to show us our errors. If we saw these nudges and worked in our hearts on releasing their causes, our awareness and appreciation of gifts would overwhelm us.

openheart

I know that it has become fashionable in recent years to keep a ‘Gratitude Diary’ as a way of counting blessings, and seeing gifts. The problem with this approach is that we aren’t already automatically seeing and feeling the gifts. Instead we are employing a technique to grow our awareness. In principle I’m not opposed to any non-violent practice that assists a person to grow their awareness. Awareness is the first step we take when healing a problem, or opening to a gift.

However the problem with simply keeping a journal and not pausing to reflect more deeply to ask ourselves why we weren’t already noticing these gifts and rejoicing in them in our daily life, is that the practice will require constant repetition in order to provide any sense of joy. The joy cannot be deep and lasting because we are already suppressing or avoiding the feelings that prevent the natural recognition of gifts.

In my own example, it didn’t matter how intellectually aware I was of the gifts of my soul mate’s love, support and acceptance of me. While I justified my fear and pain, I simply didn’t honour or feel them as gifts. Until I was willing to be humble to my true feelings I couldn’t see that God had answered my prayer; instead I believed that He had dealt me a poor hand in life.

In the experience of the first women above, the emotions triggered by the birth of a son whose appearance reminded her of something painful, marred her joy at motherhood. So intense was the experience, that she couldn’t manufacture gratitude. Her only solution would have been to explore her reaction emotionally in order to resolve it and open her heart to her child.

In the second example, the woman had closed her heart to love, and instead lived in the injuries of façade. She believed that love equated to providing her with material things, and fulfilling her every wish. She literally could not see the gift of her boyfriend’s love and fidelity because she was obsessed with appearance, fanfare, and tradition. She demanded the fulfillment of her obsessions, rather than seeing what of value was being offered.

Intellectually counting gifts in order to grow gratitude is only effective if we understand that in a truly humble place we would not need to count our gifts – they would already be blindingly apparent and abundant on a moment to moment basis. So if we are using an intellectual technique to notice our gifts, in order to grow we must be willing to take the next step which is to heal our injuries that prevent us seeing receiving these gifts without the need for technique.

Also, if we try for gratitude, we can quickly end up in a stuck and self-punishing state. We can use our mind to see or count gifts around us, and yet finding that our heart is dead to them, we can end up berating ourselves. For example, I spent many nights punishing myself, because I had vast evidence of my soul mate’s kindness, patience and generosity with me and others, and I could see that I was not feeling grateful for these things. In fact I was actively rejecting and criticizing them.

By trying to be grateful, trying to manufacture gratitude because we ’know it’s the right thing to be’, we can end up creating a hell of self-flagellation for ourselves.

The only way to truly notice and receive gifts is to open our hearts and heal the injury that blocks us to receiving in the first place. Our lives lived in suppression of emotion cause us to seek out addictive and damaging prizes, rather than notice and honour the true and nourishing gifts that God and others offer us. It’s like trying to suppress a deep hunger with sugary sweets, that don’t stay in our stomach long and rot our teeth. Our real hunger and thirst is to feel and know ourselves and God, but most of us feel that’s frightening and dangerous so we bail out and deny.

Yet when we close down the experience of one emotion, we close down the potential experience of others. If we shut down our pain and fear, we can’t feel love or gratitude. It’s as simple and difficult as that.

I can tell you from lived experience that once you begin to open your heart to whatever is in there, without self-punishment, and with a desire to love and heal, gratitude is a natural result.

Can I inspire you today friend? The benefits of opening to our pain are not just a stronger sense of self, greater potentials of a relationship with God and a more loving lifestyle and relationships. Undertaking the journey of healing ourselves literally makes life come alive with a knowledge and experience of the gifts that God has offered.

I feel some pain as I begin to feel how many gifts I have overlooked, rejected or simply let pass me by in life. But there is also the excitement of knowing that as I continue, and grieve and grow, the gifts begin to appear in technicolour all around me.

Do you remember the wonderful world of Walt Disney – full of colour and magic? I liken those images to how life comes alive as we grow. The gifts spring out at us, to be relished and received readily.

But in order to live this we must be willing to examine our expectations, our agendas, and our preconceptions in the light of what is loving and what honours Truth. Only when we are willing to allow the pain of past hurts and the discomfort of letting go of unloving expectations can we even begin to notice the gifts being offered. And this is the first step in coming to discover and embrace the beauty and fulfillment that God has planned for us.

I have been blind to the many blessings and opportunities offered to me until I at last found the courage to begin to open my heart to all that was within it.

I even received the exact thing that I prayed for within one week of my prayer. But I missed the gift because I didn’t expect or want his name to be Jesus.

Disney Alice in Wonderland

Revisiting: Abortion Interview

While I’m busy in my own process I thought it a great time revisit an amazing interview between Jesus and Barb (you can view Part 1 below).

This discussion covers the topic of abortion, and its effects on the soul of the aborted child and both of its parents.

However, in case you skipped this one thinking it wasn’t relevant to you, here are some of the other themes discussed by Barb and Jesus during the interview:

  • The Gift and use of Free Will
  • Our role as parents
  • The unloving investments we may have in the role of parenthood and how these damage our kids
  • Miscarriage
  • Adoption
  • Judgement
  • Repentance

As always there are some great points made and this was a particularly natural, relaxed and respectful conversation about a customarily contentious topic.

Wishing you productive processing time friends.

Your sister,
Mary

Forgiveness, Me & The Midnight Hours

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”

Mahatma Gandhi

You should know this – I love the principles of forgiveness. I believe in them.

In fact I believe, that the use of our will in the experience of true repentance and true forgiveness, forms the very basis of our relationship with God.

Soul-based forgiveness and repentance create the conditions under which the holy spirit may connect to us in a spirit of truth – and in those moments God may Love Us.

In addition to that, the forgiveness I have received and given in this life, are among most precious gifts and moments I can recall.

Yet here I am at 2am, filling a page with notes on forgiveness. I’m writing to you, but mainly for me, because my heart needs to hear me state the truth of such good and Godly things.

To be quite honest, forgiving the pain in my past, well, I’m not finding it altogether easy.

Forgiveness requires humility. And not just your off-hand ‘oh, yes, I can acknowledge that that event hurt’, brush away a few sly tears,  kind of recognition of pain. Its got to be sincere. Its got to involve a wide open heart, and a willingness to scan the deep recesses of one’s soul.

All in a day’s work for people like you and me, right? Well, maybe not quite.

Truthfully, I’m a bit knotted up in the tummy over the next phase in this journey, yet I’m determined to do it right this time.

My quest to get real on this topic is revealing to me that, despite my tendency get all misty eyed and passionate over the concepts of forgiveness, there are many (many, many) ways that, instead of embracing a process of forgiveness, I have in fact avoided myself and the truth. And I’ve incurred quite a bit of damage to others in the process.

I’m not falling into a deep pot-hole of self-hate about it, but here, tonight, I’m calling myself to account.

What code do I truly want to live by: One that honours fear, and cursorily acknowledges truth? Or a practice that honours truth, and simply allows my fears to be released in this process?

When I honour fear, I live by fear’s dictate. I might pay lip service to God’s Wonderful Truths, but when push comes to shove, fear gets the final say.

When I honour Truth, I let fear be present and felt, but I live by God’s Laws.

If I truly want to forgive, I’m going to honour through word, feeling and deed, that this process of forgiveness is powerful, healing and truly works. I’m going to face my fear, and hurt, without complaint, restraint and with definite intention to heal.

So What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness can only be born once we have a deep desire to know and feel our own selves, including our pain. In this, we relinquish any desires for commiseration, retribution or short-cuts.

Forgiveness means facing the past. It means connecting to whatever pain is there – be that pain as a result of someone’s direct actions, their inaction, or our perception of their actions[*]

Forgiveness involves allowing and feeling the pain of unloving actions done to you, and releasing it forever.

Magically, letting go of pain enables truth to flow to us – the whole truth of what really happened and the Truth that we are lovable and worthy.

It can’t happen in reverse, truth always follows humility, which is why our desire to embrace our pain is so essential.

The entire process is actually so simple that, as children, we naturally knew how to do it, without thought or teaching. God created us to forgive, She built our capacity for it into the very fabric of our soul. It is through forgiveness that can stay connected to our true selves. It grants us freedom to let go of the past, and to dream anew for our future.

But somewhere along the way, we were taught to fear emotion or to fear the punishment we received when expressing it. Or we were continually placed in harmful situations, so we learnt that there was no point to releasing the pain. We shut down as a coping mechanism.

Then we went out into a world saturated with demands for ‘rights’, for justice. We see movies that glorify those who seek violent revenge to protect the weak and innocent. Often we are taught that forgiveness is weak and that if we do it we will allow ourselves to be hurt again and again.

Does Forgiveness Make us Weak?

The truth is that when we truly, authentically forgive, we are far less likely to allow ourselves to be harmed in the same way again. Why? Because in the process of forgiveness we must come face-to-face with the wrong that has been done to us. We grieve this hurt and release it from us.

These two actions – grieving the hurt and facing the truth – protect us from future harm in the following ways:

We no longer live in denial

When we face the hurt and the truth of what has been done, we are no longer in denial. Often we enter states of denial in an attempt to create a kind of ‘buffer’ between ourselves and our own pain. This can work for a while, but  it also means we are less sensitive to what is actually happening right now. In this state, of using our will to be less sensitive to what is going on around us, we often allow ourselves to be hurt again and again, by numerous people.

In engaging the beginnings of forgiveness, we face our pain, meaning that we no longer have the buffer. We are again sensitive to what hurts and more likely to withdraw or stand up to harm directed towards us – not less.

Forgiveness is not compliance

True forgiveness never means denying the truth or responsibility of anyone’s actions. So even though we forgive, we may still choose to remove a violent or harmful person from our lives, until a time when we feel that they have repented.

In fact, having gone through this process, we are more in touch with our own self-care and respect, since in order to forgive, we have had to face that the harm done to us was not deserved.

Forgiveness generates discernment

Before we forgive, we carry our wounds from the past with us. Like a huge set of mismatched luggage, we cart all our baggage with us into every encounter. This baggage is a conglomeration of trapped emotions relating to (sometimes hundreds) of painful events in the past. Emotions are trapped when, as children, we were denied the opportunity to experience the full extend of our fear, pain, shame or powerlessness.

But here’s the thing, because its trapped, because we are afraid to feel it, because we live in a state of always trying to look forward to the next destination, trying desperately to ignore the heavy burden of carting all those cumbersome suitcases, we aren’t very sure about what bit of the hurt fits where, and with whom.

We might know that we are afraid of being hurt, but we haven’t released the pain of exactly who betrayed us – so we cast that fear out like a huge blanket over everyone in our emotional vicinity. We may feel the deep, and persistent, tug of fear and unworthiness around the edges of our day but we are afraid to discover its exact roots. So we end up seeking relationships and situations based solely on avoiding these feelings – rather ones driven by our true desires and personality.

In all of this – we get lost. We loose the ability to discern who truly loves and cares for us from those who might be there to meet an addiction, or even from those who are still hurting us but we just don’t want to see it.

Engaging the process of forgiveness means that we place the hurt where it belongs. For the first time we can clearly see who has hurt us. And we can now discern and seek out those who have our best interests at heart.

Engaging forgiveness softens us to our pain, but it also makes us strong to our own desires and empowers us in reliable self-care practices.

Here are some inspiring stories about people seeking to live forgiveness in the real world:

Truth & Reconciliation Trials

 “…the cycle of reprisal and counter reprisal that had characterized their national history had to be broken and that the only way to do this was to go beyond retributive justice to restorative justice, to move on to forgiveness, because without it there was no future.”

Desmond Tutu

Forgiveness & Criminal Justice?

Amish Grace

[*] which may or may not be correct – the point is that we must feel what we carry as hurtful feelings towards us, clarity will come as we go.