It’s been a long while since my last update because Jesus and I have been extremely busy. After we returned home from our last trip, we immediately began planning the next, along with launching into other new projects in Divine Truth and God’s Way.
Last month we held events in England and tomorrow we begin our event in Portugal. The theme for talks on this trip is ‘Pray for God’s Love’.
In Portugal we plan to discuss some important Truths about prayer along with many of the common misconceptions and untruths about prayer that exist on Earth and in the spirit world.
If you would like some reading and reflection to set the tone before listening to or attending the Portugal talks, I love this message from our brother John: Divine Love: What It Is & What It Is Not
If you would like join us at any event around the world, details on how to register and attend can be found here: event.divinetruth.com
For people who are making videos of the events, or are using recordings for radio or other media sharing, if you would like to use our audio recordings, you can go to:
It’s been a while since my last update. Our life has been increasingly busy over the past few years. And, while that is a challenge in terms of our personal progression, it is wonderful to be back presenting truth publicly again. We also love working together with others to expand the God’s Way organization and develop projects here in the local area.
We plan to travel overseas each year for the next four to five years, or until political events or economic limitations prevent us from doing so. We believe that face to face meetings are the most powerful in assisting people to understand and practically apply God’s Principles. And so, we are doing what we can with the time and resources that we have, to offer that opportunity to as many people as possible. And while we already have regular contact with people here in Queensland, we are also open to interstate travel in Australia over the coming years.
Of course, we are aware that our personal progression remains vital to our personal happiness, our energy levels, and the extent to which we can continue to share God’s Truth. So, we are constantly weighing our need for personal time against our other desires.
We face the juggle between presenting material, the need to focus on our own progression, the work required to edit and share recordings, project work in God’s Way and care of our own home and property here in Wilkesdale.
Our Greetings & Gratitude
Jesus and I returned home from our round the world trip in November. While the trip was very busy for us, it was our great pleasure to meet so many of you. Thank you to those of you who participated in the talks in a spirit of curiosity and openness.
Thank you to those of you who donated to us during the talks and a warm and special thanks to our friends in Portugal, Belgium and North Carolina who gave us their homes to stay in while we were in those locations, and, in Portugal and North Carolina, to people who gifted us a venue to hold talks in.
We also want to acknowledge and thank those people who helped with finding other venues, who loaned us their vehicles, who dropped us off and picked us up at airports, helped with set up and pack up at events and arranging equipment hire. The generosity of each of you not only helped us to make the trip possible but also made the experience all the richer, as we got to spend a little more time with you all.
We would also like to thank those in Australia who donated towards the trip and to everyone who has made donations to us since returning home. In particular, one individual donated significant funds to us which has enabled us to pay for the next overseas trip and to purchase new equipment which will hopefully make it easier to make video recordings at future talks. A special thanks to David!
Our first talk in our Australian living room after we returned from the trip
Finally, thank you to those people who have assisted me over the past few months to find new venues for our 2025 world trip. Over the past few months, a small team of two or three people in England, Portugal, Canada and the US have investigated and visited a great many venues on our behalf. We have now secured a venue in each of these locations and we are extremely grateful for the efforts of our helping teams.
There are quite a few considerations we must take into account when searching for a venue. These include the size and layout of the room, lighting, acoustics, comfort for participants (including the type of chairs and number of rest rooms), proximity to airports, parking and wheelchair access. And of course, venues must be OK with renting to a couple claiming to be Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
On our return I designed a research sheet outlining our venue requirements to assist the people who were helping with the venue search. They then had to spend quite a lot of time firstly finding potentially suitable venues, checking them against our requirements and then visiting ‘finalist’ venues to ensure that they lived up to their advertising.
Excerpt from our Venue Research Document
What We’ve Been Up To Since We Returned Home
Trip Planning & Preparation
As soon as we returned home in November, we started to get organized for our next overseas trip. We wanted to capitalize on the lessons we learned in the prior trip and, as we had decided to visit the northern hemisphere earlier in their summer this year, we needed to act quickly to find venues and accommodation.
We decided that for our overseas travel in 2025, we wanted to have less of a carbon footprint (and less of a sleep deficit). This meant reducing our number of stops to four countries. We decided upon England, Portugal, Canada and the USA.
We’ll hold a three day seminar in each of these countries, with the first being held in England at the end of May. This year, we’ve extended our stay in each country to allow more time for informal catch ups and possible social gatherings in each place. Sometimes the informal discussions we have with sincere people are quite powerful and meaningful for those involved.
Jesus & I Trip Planning
This year we also want to be able to share audio recordings of the events more quickly. Having less events will allow time for Jesus to edit the audio recordings as we travel. While we know that a number of people kindly made ‘bootleg’ audio recordings of our last trip so that others could keep up with the presentations as they happened, the quality of these recordings was not as clear or easy to follow as our own. If we can share our high quality recordings more quickly this will be of benefit to everyone.
At this stage, in 2025, we are hoping to expand our recording capabilities to include not just audio but also to make video recordings at the events. However, researching and testing a set up that we can use (and carry) internationally, takes quite a lot of work.
Since our return in November, Jesus has been very busy researching and trialing new video recording potentials. It is quite the task since the gear we carry with us needs fit in two bags, meet the airline weight limit, allow for recording a three day event, be reliable, compact and easy to use. Adding video recording capabilities means not just adding new cameras, but also extra cabling, recording devices, screens to check camera feeds, along with a storage server to copy and back up the recordings.
Jesus has carefully selected items that he thinks will meet our requirements. Each new piece of equipment that is purchased often takes weeks to arrive and once it is here, must be tested on arrival to ensure there are no faults. After that, various other tasks are necessary such as firmware updates, learning how to use the devices and/or software etc. Only after all that has happened, can the items be trialed in the context of a full audio and video recording set up to see if it will offer an effective solution. It is taking a lot of time in an already busy schedule. For this reason, it may be that in 2025 we still do a simplified version of video and audio recording but in future years we hope to have a more complete set up.
After making the video recordings, our additional challenge remains in us finding the time, or willing volunteers, to edit these recordings. There are some new people who have expressed a desire to help with this task and we hope to be able to train them in what is required. Jesus has already spent time with them over the past few months educating them about the job, the necessary computer hardware and software required to complete the edits, and the important spiritual principles (such as thoroughness and attention to detail) that will be required.
With all of that said, I’m pleased to say that we have now have confirmed 2025 overseas events, to be held in the following locations:
You can now book into these events via the clickable links or by visiting: event.divinetruth.com
Australian Events
In December, we made the decision to cancel the events that we were planning to hold in Melbourne, Sydney & Wangaratta. We were looking forward to visiting those places and seeing the people we know there. However, we felt the interest was quite low, especially amongst people who have never been to an event before and our schedule is already very busy. The time spent to drive to those places (over one week, one way) would have taken us away from other pressing commitments in Queensland.
In the past few months, we have enjoyed spending time with a number of interstate and overseas visitors here in the local area. These people have attending the local God’s Way Humility in Practice day events and the open group discussions in our living room.
We have continued to hold these open group discussion in our living room in Wilkesdale since our return. In the past, these were more ad hoc afternoon events, and those in attendance were simply people who were already on the property having taken part in God’s Way Ltd humility in practice activities in the morning. However, we have now started opening up these events to the general public which requires people booking in via our events page.
We, along with some of the God’s Way Ltd members, have been working over the past few months to clear out and organize the Divine Truth studio so that these discussions can be held there in future.
The studio is a larger and more comfortable space than our home living room. Having talks there will also save us a lot of time. Currently, before and after each event in our living room, Jesus and I must spend a number of hours laying cable, setting up video cameras, a mixing desk, various other devices and then testing.
Studio Clean Up in ProgressLots of items were sorted and stored
Over the past four or five years, the Divine Truth studio has been swamped with a number of God’s Way and Divine Truth technical building and upgrade projects. We and our small team of helpers have spent four solid weeks, sorting, organizing, repurposing, and rehousing much of the gear. Jesus has been the director of all of this work, having to make hundreds of decisions in a day about what to do with various equipment, decide if it is still needed or if it can by given away, finding storage solutions that will enable him to access everything (from cables and screws to motherboards and speakers) in future so that he can work smoothly on all of the myriad jobs he is currently responsible for (this includes all of the God’s Way & Divine Truth computer systems and network design, upgrades, repairs and support, along with being the man who plans, understands and directs all of our video and audio recording).
To help with the organization, new shipping containers have been moved onto the property to act as storage units. God’s Way participants have painted, applied a new flooring, and installed shelving in each container.
Newly painted containersJesus & Cornelius designed a specialized roof to extend the life of the container and help with keeping them coolThe team coating the container floorsA number of coats are needed to create a durable finishOne of the storage containers with fresh floor & shelving
In January, we held a seminar in Murgon, followed by a three-day Humility in Practice event which was co-hosted with the God’s Way organisation.
Murgon Hall set upSound checkPositioning camerasTrial of new camera mounts, a version of this mount may be used on our next overseas trip
It was great to see many new, along with familiar, faces at the seminar.
Lots of lovely faces
The humility in practice event, which was held in the week after the seminar, was a great way for people to participate in an environmental recovery project together. The outdoor team worked on removal of the Lantana camara plant which is an invasive species taking over a lot of land in rural Australia.
Welcome of participants at Humility in Practice eventPrinciples & instructions were explainedVarious methods for removal were trialledJesus, Cornelius & I work together on a large plantThe tractor pulling the plant outTo limit regrowth, plant roots were traced and pulled out by hand. Participants hold one long root.The tractor lifts a large plant into the truckA mini excavator helped in some hard to reach spotsSafety around machinery is taken very seriously and everyone must wear hi vis clothingA truck was used to move removed plants to a depot on the Function CentreOn the final day, participants worked on Mother of Millions weed removal
God’s Way Ltd is working on a number of experimental techniques for manually removing the Lantana plant and have been manufacturing special tools to aid in the process.
Since infestations not only dominate eastern Australia but also large swathes of land in India, God’s Way Ltd aims to perfect and then freely share effective and time efficient methods for Lantana removal.
Various manual removal methods have been trialled, including the use of a special ‘lantana tool’ (Pictured left)Manual removalA long bar is used to pull back foliage and expose the plant base and rootsOnce the base is exposed, an electric cutting tool is used to cut the plant branches from the baseIn some places, the tractor lifted plants into the truckLarge bags used locally in peanut harvest & storage, were repurposed and used to haul plants from gullies and hard to reach sitesSpecial hooks were designed & manufactured. They were pushed under the plant at the base. A chain was then attached to the hook and pulled through. Jesus pulls the chain through at the base of the plant. This enabled the main root to be encircled. The chain was attached to the tractor and used to pull the plant outParticipants drag a plant up the hill
During the humility in practice event, the lighter duties team began work on a new project which I am excited to share more about soon.
It involves creating a durable but biodegradable ‘wipe’ to assist everyone who has transitioned to a bidet! This product will be available to people worldwide.
Planning, development & prototyping phaseVarious templates have been madeWorking as a team in whatever space is availableCreative ideas flowManufacture with overlocker sewing machines was consideredFabrics have been tested for their comfort, ease to sew and durabilityEach ‘wipe’ is double sided for maximum comfort & durabilityMany designs and prototypes have been trialled
In future, people wishing to support the project can make a monetary donation or donate good quality second-hand towel and flannel to be used in the production of the wipes.
At the end of work on each of the humility in practice event, a good discussion was had in the back patio
In March, we’ll be repeating this sequence by holding a seminar in Murgon on the 7th, 8th & 9th, followed by a humility in practice event in Wilkesdale on the 11th-13th of the month.
Welcoming guests to the January Murgon seminarDay oneWelcome everyone to day two!The topic for the talk was ‘Love God First’We really enjoy what we do
Creation of New God’s Way Office Facilities
Divine Truth has entered a joint agreement with God’s Way Ltd to make the Divine Truth studio into an office/studio space that will be shared between the two organizations. This will allow God’s Way to have dedicated work space for the first time and to complete their own video recordings in the space as well.
Jesus currently provides all of the digital and systems services to both Divine Truth and God’s Way, including completing back ups of all God’s Way data. At the moment, God’s Way Ltd data is stored on mobile servers which must to be brought to the Divine Truth studio for Jesus to back up onto the servers housed there. Having all of the technical hardware on the one site will help reduce some of Jesus’ workload in this regard.
This man is always at work
To support the increased personnel at the studio, God’s Way has been building a large new shed for water collection (funded by Jesus & I) and a new shipping container toilet block which will have a soil producing septic attached.
Wall sheets going on the new water collection shedThe new toilet block under construction
God’s Way Involvement
On our return there were a lot of jobs to do in order to assist God’s Way directors with the management of the organization.
Before the Annual General Meeting was held in November, Jesus checked the God’s Way Ltd financial records and found a few items to be amended. I completed a full edit and rewrite of the annual report. The report, which includes the company financial statements, can be viewed on the God’s Way website here.
God’s Way Ltd members, November 2024Where I write & edit reports, and organize our trip logistics
In December, a number of God’s Way regular participants hosted a party for everyone who had been involved in humility in practice days throughout the year.
End of year partyChattingIt was a late night but another great discussion with everyone
Jesus continues to lead various construction projects within God’s Way, including the completion of the large water collection shed on our property. We also enjoy mentoring the company directors, helping projects to move forward, and ensuring that the organization meets its legal requirements and is prepared to welcome new participants.
Recent heavy rains flood the God’s Way Ltd Caretakers’ propertyWater over the road between the God’s Way Caretakers’ & Function Centre properties
Recent heavy rains in the area highlighted some drainage problem around the new water collection shed.
Cornelius & Jesus discuss drainage solutions on the new shed.
Jesus and Cornelius came up with a plan to better manage the water.
Drainage solutions underwayHappy digging trenchesConcrete for new drains and retainingOnce concrete arrives, everyone must move quicklyCheery workers despite the heatExtending the retaining wall to redirect water flow
You can stay up to date with more of God’s Way activities via the God’s Way blog.
Another friendly insect on our property
Jesus and I believe it is our great privilege to share God’s Truth with others. We thank you for your engagement with the Truth and your support for our continued desire that everyone in the world has the opportunity to learn that God’s Laws exist and that God’s Love is available to every person.
These immeasurable gifts, of Love and Law, bring lasting joy to anyone who willingly engages with them. What a precious thing to know!
Until next time,
Mary & Jesus
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Jesus and I would love to come to Europe for 6-8 weeks and spend some time with people who are interested in learning more about the practical application of Divine Truth.
We are proposing to stop for 10-12 days in three different European locations. In each location, we’d like to meet with groups of up to 30 people in an informal setting (like a large living room or affordable venue) to hold a series of discussions over a period of 7-10 days. These talks would following one or more themes and allow for questions and answers.
This format will allow participants to:
gain a deeper understanding of God’s Principles and how to apply them to daily life, relationships, and problems
gain a clearer picture of their current spiritual and emotional condition; including their biggest blocks to God at that time
have time for reflection and processing between meetings and to raise follow up questions as they arise over the 10 day period
Jesus and I have been teaching using this format in our own living room and patio area for about five years. Many of the participants at these talks have found these informal long-themed discussions to be very effective in helping them to challenge their façade, understand their biggest blocks, develop a sincere longing for God, and to value God’s Opinion (God’s Morality) for the first time.
We know that many people overseas are not making spiritual changes in harmony with the principles of God’s Truth. We would like to offer this opportunity to sincere people in Europe so that they can engage with a similar style of teaching to that which we have been using in our own home here in Australia.
This is why we are proposing the ‘living room tour’.
What we require to make the tour happen
Assistance with Logistics
Motivated people in Europe (at least one in each location we visit) who are willing to work with me, Mary, to help with logistical arrangements to ensure our requirements are met.
These people must be humble to feedback and willing to listen to and implement requests.
Accommodation
10-14 days accommodation in each area we will visit to give talks
It is important that Jesus and I have our own accommodation in each location. We have found that it is not suitable for us to stay with people in their homes as people often become angry when they receive personal feedback and/or are needy for our time and attention.
We must have time and space for our own emotions and relaxation. However we don’t mind if our accommodation is also the venue for discussions; that is, it would be fine if the venue was a large living room in the house or apartment where we are staying.
Our small home becomes a venue most Saturdays We move furniture from the kitchen, living, dining and office areas to create one large area about 32 square meters in size
Meeting Space
A 30-40 square meter space where people can come and meet with us, and where we can hold talks. This is the minimum space required.
The space could be a living room area in our accommodation, space in someone else’s home, or a local venue. Ideally, Jesus and I should have ready access to the space and it would be best if we could leave our minimal recording equipment set up for the duration of our stay.
The benefit of the meeting space being in, or near to, our accommodation is that we can ensure that equipment is well cared for and safe. It also allows us to hold impromptu gatherings based on our desires.
Funds
Donations to cover air fares to Europe and pay for accommodation/venues in each country.
Please keep in mind that when we travel we still have to cover our regular expenses here in Australia. Note, that if you already donate to us to cover our expenses (thank you), and simply switch your donations to be towards this trip, our net funds available for travel are not increased.
Donations will need to be in addition to our normal funds received.
Equipment
Hire or purchase of some basic cables for audio recording in the country we visit
We will bring audio recording equipment, that is, microphones and a small mixer, but will need some cabling to connect these in each country that we visit.
If people wish to video record the meetings, that would need to be arranged with Jesus and I prior to the event and all recordings shared with us.
Timing
We would like to make this trip in the months of July and August in either 2024 or 2025.
Which year we visit will be dependent upon:
The current God’s Way Ltd & Divine Truth building plans and how to time a trip so that these building works are least interrupted
Whether or not there are people in Europe who are sincere, humble, and willing to assist with logistics; including people who can help us to find accommodation and a venue
Whether or not we receive enough donations to cover the expenses of this trip
What You Can Do To Register Your Interest to Help or Attend
At the moment, Jesus and I don’t have a clear indication of how many people would be interested in such an opportunity.
To register your interest to attend, or to help out, you can:
Send an email to mary@divinetruth.com expressing your interest to attend one or more discussion and telling me your location (or your preferred location for talks)
If you have the ability to assist with logistics please also outline what you feel you can help with; including if you have a venue or accommodation in mind that may meet our requirements.
If you would like to donate towards the living room tour you can do so via the usual channels which are detailed on our website, please use the code: DTASSISTGRP. You can use the clickable link ‘Divine Truth Assistance Group’ under ‘Select Your Donation Type’ on the Divine Truth website donation page.
I will provide further updates via the blog once we gauge interest and potential assistance in each location.
I know of a woman, who, after eagerly anticipating the birth of her first child, took one look at him after delivery and said “But he’s a blond.” She refused to wash, hold or nurse him for days after his birth. She had anticipated a cherub with brown hair and eyes, and couldn’t accept the blue eyed beauty who arrived.
This woman had no appreciation for the utter wonder of this small new being, a child of God, grown in her womb and birthed by her. She was not awed by the miracle of birth, or the gift that God offered her in the privilege of becoming a parent – which is the opportunity to learn about love, and God’s very nature through our own lived, visceral, heart-tugging experience with another being, a child.
She wanted a brown haired baby, and this one was blond. So he was rejected.
I know of another woman who felt certain that her long-standing boyfriend was soon to propose to her. She collected jewellery catalogues pondering which ring she would love to wear. When she found one she liked she strategically left her chosen ring circled in the pages, lying around her apartment. She was hoping her man would take the hint.
Sure enough, the day arrived when after a long and beautiful date that the boyfriend had planned, (culminating on the deck of a yacht no less), he got down on one knee and produced a ring box. This was it – her long anticipated moment. He asked to spend the rest of his life with her.
And yet as he opened the ring box her face suddenly fell in disappointment. He had purchased another ring! Her ‘perfect moment’ was suddenly marred as she gazed into the ‘wrong’ glittering diamond arrangement.
It turned out that she had previously marked another ring in the catalogue and the diligent boyfriend has seen this and bought it, thinking it was what she wanted.
After accepting his proposal, she promptly insisted that he go back and exchange the ring for the correct selection.
This woman could overlook the huge gratification of having the man that she professed to love, actually loving her back. (No small gift in itself people).
She could forget that this same man loved her so much that he wanted to spend, not just the afternoon, but the rest of his life with her, and only her.
She wasn’t interested that he was attentive enough to even notice a jewellery catalogue in her home, and to look to at it in order to attempt to make her dreams come true.
Nope, she felt that he ‘ruined’ the moment by not getting it exactly right.
True story.
So why am I telling you all this?
I’m telling you because these are examples of people who, because of their own agendas, overlooked gifts that were offered to them. Their examples might sound extreme to you? But I didn’t use them so that you could shake your head and judge these women.
No, I’m telling you because as I look at my own life and I see that I have been showered with gifts, and I have rejected so many of them because they didn’t come in the package or way that I wanted or anticipated. A lot of times, it is only with hindsight that I even recognise that a gift was even being offered.
I’m telling you because often we see the absurdity and hurtfulness in other people’s actions, but at the same time overlook how we ourselves are acting in very similar ways.
About five years ago, I had just returned from living overseas for an extended period. It had been a time of great personal change, new experiences and exposure to new ideas. I was at a point where I knew that I wanted to reassess what my life was all about.
I’d experimented with my career. I’d taken up more post-grad study. I’d recently broken up with a partner. While I thought I knew some things about what I wanted, there was a whole lot of stuff that just didn’t sit right about my future direction and life values. I sort of knew what I didn’t want, but internally I didn’t think I could get what I really dreamed of – because that stuff just doesn’t work in the ‘real world’, right?
Around this time my friend Jessica invited me to go out for dinner in Brisbane with her and some of her work colleagues and friends. After dinner we piled into a near-by night club called ‘Fridays’. Having lived in Brisbane for four years while I studied for my degree, being back in ‘Fridays’ brought back many memories of my uni days, not all of them were fun or flattering (smile). This night, I distinctly remember standing very soberly on the edge of a dance floor, surrounded by people of various ages and in varying degrees of inebriation and thinking “Here I am back in a familiar place, yet I feel so different. What is my life really all about anyway?”
I chose that moment to pray. Strange I know, but there it is.
Now, back then I wasn’t what you would call a formal ‘pray-er’. In fact I hadn’t explored my own feelings enough to decide what I really believed about God. But from what I now know about true prayer, I can tell you that I most definitely prayed at that moment.
Here’s what I prayed:
“God, please let me find the one man who is for me. I want the partner who will share my passions, and dreams, who will want to make a life together, a life that is about something meaningful and true. I want the ‘forever’ man who will be my friend and partner and who will want what I want for the world.”
It was a strong feeling, that I felt explode out of me like a shock wave. Then I just went back to making small talk with the journos I’d had dinner with.
You know what comes next in this story don’t you?
The next week AJ gave a talk at my parent’s home and he and Cornelius stayed overnight. It wasn’t a huge, harps playing, thunder clap kind of moment. I wish I could tell you that doves appeared in the sky and we gazed knowingly into each other’s eyes.
The event passed for me without much conscious acknowledgement (although many emotions were stirred). AJ was famously tongue tied, and I spent most of the time telling Corni about my travels, interspersed with me directing some pointed questions towards AJ about the Course in Miracles or something or other.
I couldn’t see the gift.
In fact, as is by now well recorded, as I got to know AJ I vacillated between extremes of attraction towards him and intense rejection, anger and denial of any feeling toward him.
Quite simply, meeting AJ triggered every fear and deeply suppressed sense of loss inside of me. So extreme was my fear and its denial, that I didn’t see our relationship as a gift. In fact I hardly saw his true personality at all. I rejected my feelings, resented the truth, and did a great many things to harm him and the possibility of us being together.
With every gift that God gives us He desires that we come to know ourselves more fully. And that we may be drawn by our own desire to grow closer to Him. This often means confronting the errors and blocks we have to knowing God’s Nature, Love and to recognising the Wisdom inherent in His Design.
I feel now that my meeting AJ again was perhaps the best gift I have ever, ever received – even better than our very first meeting in the 1st century. Yet at the time not only did I reject this gift, I resented the sense of a loss of control and terror of attack, that our meeting triggered in me.
The creation of our soul mate is an immense gift. It is the gift that delivers the exact answer to my prayer made in the night-club five years ago. Even in our injured state, being in a relationship with our soul mate has immense power to help us grow and know ourselves. Even if both halves of the soul are injured or hurting, if they desire to know and heal themselves, they naturally and automatically become a support, inspiration and example for the other simply through their own self-expression and journey.
But I literally couldn’t see or receive these gifts until I developed humility to my own fear and pain. The resistance to my own self caused me to be blind to what gifts I had received and was being offered.
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Our friend Josh always says that God’s Law of Attraction brings you Truth in a graded way – first as a feather, then as a brick, and then as a truck. Meaning that God is gently trying to bring us towards Truth all the time, and when we engage our soul’s desire to grow and yet keep overlooking the feather-weight Truths that nudge us, a stronger attraction is required to wake us up to our error, enter the brick. And if we still deny or resist he brings us a truck sized event, all in the effort to help us see how we err from Love and Truth.
Imagine if we could all wake-up to the feathers brushing up against us, designed to show us our errors. If we saw these nudges and worked in our hearts on releasing their causes, our awareness and appreciation of gifts would overwhelm us.
I know that it has become fashionable in recent years to keep a ‘Gratitude Diary’ as a way of counting blessings, and seeing gifts. The problem with this approach is that we aren’t already automatically seeing and feeling the gifts. Instead we are employing a technique to grow our awareness. In principle I’m not opposed to any non-violent practice that assists a person to grow their awareness. Awareness is the first step we take when healing a problem, or opening to a gift.
However the problem with simply keeping a journal and not pausing to reflect more deeply to ask ourselves why we weren’t already noticing these gifts and rejoicing in them in our daily life, is that the practice will require constant repetition in order to provide any sense of joy. The joy cannot be deep and lasting because we are already suppressing or avoiding the feelings that prevent the natural recognition of gifts.
In my own example, it didn’t matter how intellectually aware I was of the gifts of my soul mate’s love, support and acceptance of me. While I justified my fear and pain, I simply didn’t honour or feel them as gifts. Until I was willing to be humble to my true feelings I couldn’t see that God had answered my prayer; instead I believed that He had dealt me a poor hand in life.
In the experience of the first women above, the emotions triggered by the birth of a son whose appearance reminded her of something painful, marred her joy at motherhood. So intense was the experience, that she couldn’t manufacture gratitude. Her only solution would have been to explore her reaction emotionally in order to resolve it and open her heart to her child.
In the second example, the woman had closed her heart to love, and instead lived in the injuries of façade. She believed that love equated to providing her with material things, and fulfilling her every wish. She literally could not see the gift of her boyfriend’s love and fidelity because she was obsessed with appearance, fanfare, and tradition. She demanded the fulfillment of her obsessions, rather than seeing what of value was being offered.
Intellectually counting gifts in order to grow gratitude is only effective if we understand that in a truly humble place we would not need to count our gifts – they would already be blindingly apparent and abundant on a moment to moment basis. So if we are using an intellectual technique to notice our gifts, in order to grow we must be willing to take the next step which is to heal our injuries that prevent us seeing receiving these gifts without the need for technique.
Also, if we try for gratitude, we can quickly end up in a stuck and self-punishing state. We can use our mind to see or count gifts around us, and yet finding that our heart is dead to them, we can end up berating ourselves. For example, I spent many nights punishing myself, because I had vast evidence of my soul mate’s kindness, patience and generosity with me and others, and I could see that I was not feeling grateful for these things. In fact I was actively rejecting and criticizing them.
By trying to be grateful, trying to manufacture gratitude because we ’know it’s the right thing to be’, we can end up creating a hell of self-flagellation for ourselves.
The only way to truly notice and receive gifts is to open our hearts and heal the injury that blocks us to receiving in the first place. Our lives lived in suppression of emotion cause us to seek out addictive and damaging prizes, rather than notice and honour the true and nourishing gifts that God and others offer us. It’s like trying to suppress a deep hunger with sugary sweets, that don’t stay in our stomach long and rot our teeth. Our real hunger and thirst is to feel and know ourselves and God, but most of us feel that’s frightening and dangerous so we bail out and deny.
Yet when we close down the experience of one emotion, we close down the potential experience of others. If we shut down our pain and fear, we can’t feel love or gratitude. It’s as simple and difficult as that.
I can tell you from lived experience that once you begin to open your heart to whatever is in there, without self-punishment, and with a desire to love and heal, gratitude is a natural result.
Can I inspire you today friend? The benefits of opening to our pain are not just a stronger sense of self, greater potentials of a relationship with God and a more loving lifestyle and relationships. Undertaking the journey of healing ourselves literally makes life come alive with a knowledge and experience of the gifts that God has offered.
I feel some pain as I begin to feel how many gifts I have overlooked, rejected or simply let pass me by in life. But there is also the excitement of knowing that as I continue, and grieve and grow, the gifts begin to appear in technicolour all around me.
Do you remember the wonderful world of Walt Disney – full of colour and magic? I liken those images to how life comes alive as we grow. The gifts spring out at us, to be relished and received readily.
But in order to live this we must be willing to examine our expectations, our agendas, and our preconceptions in the light of what is loving and what honours Truth. Only when we are willing to allow the pain of past hurts and the discomfort of letting go of unloving expectations can we even begin to notice the gifts being offered. And this is the first step in coming to discover and embrace the beauty and fulfillment that God has planned for us.
I have been blind to the many blessings and opportunities offered to me until I at last found the courage to begin to open my heart to all that was within it.
I even received the exact thing that I prayed for within one week of my prayer. But I missed the gift because I didn’t expect or want his name to be Jesus.
Notes Along The Way 