Live From The Heart (LFTH) posts are all about things or people who share their hearts with passion and courage. They inspire me to be real, to live out loud and follow my own heart.
So far this year I’ve been focusing a lot on developing God Reliance. To me, we can never really realize a state of God Reliance unless we are first willing to act on our passions and desires in harmony with what we know is loving. This requires trust and faith in the Goodness of God and the reliability of His Laws. I’ve struggled with it for a long while.
I’ve been shaking things up lately, taking some action, but I still know that there is a ways to go. There are fears that will only be proven unreal once I challenge them with actions that bear out their falsehood. I know it will take dissolving some more fear before I truly begin to live from the heart myself.
The people in the articles below inspired me. They are/ were young people who didn’t allow fear, ‘what-ifs’ or ‘not-good-enoughs’ to mar their desire. They took action towards their dreams without money, resources or external help. They got busy creating – something I believe God designed each of us to do.
They also reminded me that when we are truly in our desire and passion we don’t wait for others to join us, to be involved with what we dream, to make it right or to help us. We do it because it fascinates us, it excites us. When we are truly in our passion, our love for the thing we do is all we need to make it worthwhile.
But usually – and it may take some time – that pure passion we display ends up attracting the hearts and attention of others. I just love that about passion.
I firmly believe that God created each of us as unique individuals with unique personalities and passions, and when we discover and embody those things in harmony with love, whatever they may be – we end up serving the world – sometimes without even trying.
The story of Jadav “Molai” Payeng (click on the name to view – thanks to Mon for sharing this one with us) and of Caine’s Arcarde (below).
In Islam it is believed that through intention (niyyah) every act may become an act of worship. And that without pure intention, no act, however exalted or ‘holy’ can qualify as worship.
To me, when our intention is based in Love*, we worship with every breath.
Real love in our hearts sensitises us to those around us.
Love is a living thing, a giving thing. It is not something that resides quietly in the corner of our hearts.
Love is creative by nature. It leads to actions.
Love leads us to take risks with our heart; it leads us to face our personal fears in order to give a gift we value more.
Put simply, love leads us to serve. Whether it is to feed the hungry one beside us on the bus from our own lunch bag, or to lead a revolution against poverty globally, love ignites passion and creativity in us and causes us to want to share what we have in ways that will benefit more than just ourselves.
It seems I have heard so often that love takes sacrifice. Yet the beautiful truth I perceive is that when love truly lives in our hearts, we do not feel sacrifice in our service. We only willingly embrace an opportunity give a gift of love. The love in our intentions gives us sustenance and joy.
When we act in true service, we also worship.
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Where there is love and faith, we hold the knowledge that God is Love and that we serve Him even as we serve another.
I may worship Him, not just by loving Him and receiving His Love for myself, but by honouring His Love for allthings and persons.
What a dream, to let Gods Love permeate my life to such an extent that I could honour Him, and serve others, in every breath and act.
Intention and longing must be my first steps to achieve this goal.
In this I know my need for God. If I am to love all things just as He does, I need Him to teach me love.
I am meek in my need.
Yet how beautiful that my desire to love would lead me to find worship and my desire for worship leads me again to my need to learn love.
God, help me to know the true nature of love, in its creativity, its vigour and hope.
Let me have a humble heart so that love may lead me thoughtlessly and joyfully to serve my brothers and sisters.
I pray for the development of my soul so that you may receive my worship, even through the routine acts of my day-to-day life.
Hi everyone, Just to let you know that Karaoke is cancelled tonight.
We are instead having the presentation & discussion (planned for last Wednesday) for those interested in service to the world in the areas of Housing, Environment, Design and Construction.
This presentation will start at 6pm in the Wondai Memorial Hall, Corner of Scott & Mackenzie St, Wondai.
I think it should make for an interesting discussion. Look forward to seeing you there if you are interested.
If you know of anyone who would be interested but without ready access to internet, I’d be most grateful if you felt the desire to let them know.
What an awesome sentence. Somewhere inside of me a light comes on and an in-built radar sounds ‘TRUTH’, as I utter these words.
The problem is that too often I still live my life as if it were not true.
In my heart I still feel that evil has the power to crush out truth and love.
I look around and see people in poverty, I see dictators crushing nations, and rebels killing back. I see injustice, I see pain, I see questions with seemingly bad answers.
My fear tells me that love cannot overcome all the pain and hate and dark out there.
Yet when I look at my own life the only thing in the past four years that has ministered to and inspired this hurt and angry soul has been love. Love has melted all my angry defences, mellowed me into a person that is now more focussed on service than angry man-made justice.
The truth is that for all my lifelong outrage at injustice and desire to change the world, I achieved so little because I wanted to forcehate and inequity into righteousness. I wanted to shout them down, and rise up for the meek – but I wanted to do all this in ways that were not humble.
I wanted to fight fire with burning embers of my own. Instead of meeting injustice with the cool, calm waters of love and compassion, I added the heat of my anger to the furnace and the fire raged on.
Fear can make us believe that unless we protect ourselves and our loved ones we will be crushed irrevocably. Anger helps us avoid our fears and I believe that one of our worst downfalls is the inner belief that this anger is righteous.
At first it takes faith to discard our anger and to trust that love can overcome evil. But soon we will feel it work in our lives.
The blessed truth is that love stand firmer and longer than indignant rage. In fact, where rage burns out, leaving only ashes of cynicism and disillusionment, love stands forever.
Love is not weak or silent. Love speaks in a clear, unwavering voice, which does not compromise or placate to ills or errors.
Love is not passive or puny. Love acts in ways that uphold the Truth of God and make manifest His Love for each of his children.
It is the absence of fear in love, which makes love act impartially, championing only that which is good, and true, each and every time. Love does not honour one creed or gender or race above another. It does not hold onto grudges or seek vengeance. Love’s justice is faithful and exact. It comes from a heart that is humble and desires only that which will bring more love to everyone.
When we have the courage and desire to love rather than to punish, protect or react we not only stay closer to our Father, but we show mercy and grace to those around us.
And how powerful is the experience of mercy and grace? If you have felt such things from the heart of your Maker you will know how quickly it crumbles our rock hard places into sand.
This God-Grace and Mercy takes hold of sand-crumbled hearts and works on them endlessly until He Builds in us pearls of wisdom, strength and grace of our own.
So then, what more powerful to offer than our smaller gifts – of our own mercy and forgiveness?
I believe that the experience of love is what we all crave. God made us that way.
And this experience, of love, has the most power to open us to truth, which enables us to live in freedom.
The only thing lacking for love to extinguish evil on this planet is for each of us to use our will in harmony with it. And this will mean no longer worshiping a god of my own creation – the ‘fear god’ – but trusting instead the Almighty power of Love.
Love can overcome evil, friends. It only takes us to be willing to live it, to trust it, to embody it.
When no-one trusts love or stands up for it, only fear has power. But fear is a paltry influence when faced with the life-force of love.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today I’m asking myself , what do I believe in? Love or fear?
Do you ever doubt the ultimate power of love over evil?
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Somehow this clip fits (smile) I guess it appeals to my bizarre sense of humour…
In December of 2008 I met AJ in passing. He was at my parents’ home to give an informal talk and we hardly spoke a few words to each other. I didn’t really listen to much of his talk and after he left I didn’t give any of it much conscious thought but our meeting sparked some deeper process in me – an awakening of a deep spiritual longing that, in my desperate, decades-long, quest to numb my pain, I had also kept anesthetized.
A week after he left our home, I bought my first official journal. One morning I got up and opened it. This was the first entry I wrote.
There is a feeling of disillusionment inside of me – the world is full of damaged souls – causing hurt and pain. Cynical and harsh no-one is prepared to believe in anything true and beautiful, these things must surely be trodden on, tainted and weak. The power of love seems lost – a fools belief in the face of hatred and hardship.
I mourn the loss of Love, the death of beauty and hope.
I have shut it down, closed it off, left it outside in the cold to suffer and struggle.
Love – I’m sorry I left you – abandoned you.
Can I welcome you back in? Am I strong enough to support you? To believe in you in such dark, dark days? Can truth and beauty really touch all of the ugliness?
Or are we destined to carry on without you? To leave you to suffer and starve – as we carry on using vices and strife to grapple with life?
Should we become hard with a bitter taste in our mouth – striking out in anger, taking power in order to survive?
And as we struggle and fight to take our place in the world – in our corner that we have claimed – tell me who will warm that corner that we huddle in? As we shiver together – our families, our clans, our gangs – in the tiny spaces we have taken with iron fists and fear – then will we miss you?
Will we remember Love left outside in the cold and damp?
Love – we will miss her then and say SHE has forsaken US. Why doesn’t she come? We will miss her warmth and beauty and wonder why she left us – how could she be so cruel?
And so you see the world will end – tiny groups of tortured souls, huddling in darkened corners, feeding off fears and victim hood.
No-one will remember Love.
She will die and so will we all. We will descend into eternal blackness – screaming with pain, dried up with sorrow, skin tight on our bones, our teeth sharpened by years of bitter struggle and anger.
And it will all have been for nothing.
Simply we aren’t strong enough to stand for Love. WE have left HER – forsaken HER. We have seen her as weakness – to be avoided and laughed upon as a silly child’s thing, a trick of the light, pathetic and simple, to be scorned and left to die alone.
Am I the only one who remembers Love? Me, who has shut her out and treated her so unkindly. Do I have the courage to open the door? – For I know she waits just outside, cold and alone and crying for all of the madness she sees.
In fact I want to go to her outside – and cry. I see what she mourns. The crazy fucked-up world so lost that it believes it is ‘found’. All of the humanity so arrogant to think it can ‘go it alone’ without Love. Humankind, that to exist amidst the madness, has itself gone insane.
I want to grieve with Love, to join her outside and cry an ocean of regret and disillusionment.
We can sit by the door,
on the step,
in the wind and rain
and feel forsaken together.
For the only alternative is to ask her in – to give her tea in the sitting room and be willing to stand for her, to ask her to warm my heart, to ask for strength to face the insanity, to heal the pain and then to be regarded as insane myself.
I don’t feel strong enough – to face the darkness –
Will Love be there to take my hand? Can I trust her? Will she forgive me for leaving her, laughing at her? Can she really warm the shady corners of the world – where vultures circle and victims hold themselves together in packs ready to fight threats and murder?
How can the world change?
I want to sit with Love on the cold front step and mourn the death of Love.
In the past four years I’ve learned that in order to open to love again I have to be brave enough to feel all of the sharp and painful parts inside of me that are hurt and disillusioned about life, relationships and the world that we live in.
So this week on the blog is a journey of reflection on love.
One of my biggest fears is still opening to and trusting love again. There is a huge dam of grief inside that the healing warmth of love threatens to burst open. So I’m writing on a mission – to foster courage and trust in this process.
Join me if you desire.
If you write a blog and want to share your reflections on love in response to each post, link your url in the comments section. Or if you just want to share reflections in the comments, you are most welcome here friend.
Arvarna mentioned this song to me a long time ago. Its so haunting and beautiful. Sometimes I hunger for love, other times my heart trembles at the thought, this song always moves me.
‘The longest stride of soul we ever took’.. how long this stride into self-awareness, integrity and love can seem.. but what relief I feel that ‘affairs are now soul size’.. before this I truly was asleep, denial can hold us prisoner no doubt…
We’re in Kyabra this week and staying a little longer than anticipated. That means we’ll be moving our book group to Wednesday, 11th of April @ 1pm in the Woolshed, Kyabra Station.
If you’d like to participate long distance, please send your chapter responses to me via email by 9 am on Wednesday morning.
I think this is a great opportunity for our brothers and sisters in NSW to feel more involved in the study. I find each of your contributions adds unique colour and flavour to the discussion (I love it!). So our session in Kyabra will only add wonderful spice to the series.
I hope you will also value the opportunity to hear from a different group once the session is posted to youtube.
This weeks session, discussing Chapter 4, will be available (thanks to Lena & Igor) on the youtube channel to watch before our next meeting, which is still scheduled for Wednesday, 18th April, followed by Karaoke.
Our longer stay in Kyabra also means a postponement of the planned presentation for those wishing to be of service in the areas of Development, Environment and Construction. I will amend the static pages on the blog now so that the Book Group Info and Divine Truth Events pages reflect the relevant changes from today.
For those in the Kyabra region, we would love to welcome you at book group.
Here are the prerequisites:
– You have read chapters 1 – 4 of ‘Through the Mists’
– You have completed the weekly study questions for all four chapters
– You have watched the four youtube clips of previous sessions
All of the past book group clips are now on youtube. Igor has kindly pasted the exact links in the comments section of the Book Group Page.
I’ll also place the youtube playlist as a shortcut under the sidebar titled ‘Internet Love’.
This Sunday, its one year since we had our final interview with David Millikan here at Kyabra. What a year it has been. Much has changed and still more to process, yet I’m grateful for some beautiful constants that have been with me on this journey – God and His Immense Love and Tenderest Care, my soulmate – his continual, humbling love and truth, my guides, and the many great people who have shown their courage to desire truth and love in the face of ridicule.
I love it here at Kyabra. I treasure the opportunity to share time with our wonderful friends. We’ll be doing some mediumship nights in the woolshed over the next week – check out the Events page for more details.
My life took an unexpected turn when I met a man who claimed to be Jesus. It wasn’t his claim that so stunned and surprised me. (I’d met interesting characters before) The surprise was that I began to have a very intense and emotional experience of remembering him and a life we had had together that spanned the first century and many years together in spirit.
This knowledge didn’t come to me as a sudden bolt of lightning bolt nor as a mystical spirit guided adventure. It was more like a series of gut-wrenching, terrifying, emotional experiences – similar to the re-experience of suppressed trauma. At the time these feelings were totally confusing and seemingly unrelated to my current life in any way.
Prior to this my life had not been noted for its spiritual pursuits or enlightened status, but neither, I believe, had I been regarded as very ‘flaky’, prone to whimsical flights of fancy or bizarre metaphysical experience.
It was really all quite unexpected.
So AJ (Jesus) and I didn’t start our relationship with a whirlwind romance nor did I feel any sense of excitement to realise who I was. It was actually nearly the exact opposite. I was shocked, challenged, and afraid of my feelings and what they meant.
I got angry.
I couldn’t deny my experience but boy did I try! I thought I had my life figured out and yet now there were deeper things stirring in me and even with time and distance from AJ (which I have taken many times since we met) I couldn’t deny that I now wanted more from life than what I’d had before and that if I was going to live with deeper meaning I would have to resolve who I was.
Now four years later, I still grapple to come to terms with who I am and what that means on a grander scale. These intense emotional experiences continue today and as I allow them, more understanding and insight comes to me. I feel grateful and in love with AJ but life doesn’t yet feel completely simple. Actually, I’m no where near simple clarity on life yet. (smile)
I am so passionate about what we teach – I believe it is the answer to living at our fullest potential as human beings – yet many times I still want the issue of our identities to go away. It’s a desire that does me no service. For if we are to experience this true potential, to become the amazing beings God created us to be, we will each of us have to come to terms with who we truly are. That means connecting with what we desire and love, but also with what we have experienced in the past. And this truth counts for me as much as it does for anyone else.
So my challenge is to live these teachings in the truest and fullest way I can. This means humility to whatever comes along, including this experience, these emotions and knowledge of a former life on earth and in spirit, that are so much a part of me.
That often makes me feel crazy. Sometimes I want to hide.
But lately I want to share my heart for God and the beauty we may find in a relationship with our Creator.
So if you are new to this blog, I’m sure if you read the archives you will feel my struggle, and sense my distress at times when I’ve been less humble and projected my need outwards. I started to blog because I was writing anyway – volumes and volumes of thoughts and reflections as I grappled to come to terms with this massive life change. Someone guided me to feel that perhaps sharing these things would be valuable to others. But I’m not sure if it hasn’t all really been to help me work through my fears. 🙂
I have no doubt that what and how I share will continue to change as I continue to change and grow.
My feeling now is that a story becomes meaningful as it unfolds, that no single point in the narrative is as significant as the deeper meaning inherent in the journey. So perhaps you will forgive my less graceful moments in prose and join me on a journey?
Long ago in a far off land a school had been established. This school was known far and wide as “The School of Pythagoras”. It was situated right in the middle of a fairly large village called “Pythagoras Hill”. The school was a little bit different from most because majority of the boys and girls who attended the school were over 40 years of age. The students could not leave the school because no high school would accept students with such a poor understanding of maths.
Now this was really quite strange because all of the students of Pythagoras Hill State School thought that maths was their best subject. They thought they had maths all sown up. In fact they believed that now that they had enrolled at The School of Pythagoras, maths would no longer be a matter of concern. You see, this school followed the text called “The Great Mathematician Pythagoras”. The school believed that as far as maths goes this text could not be beaten. The book was held in so high regard that no other text was allowed to be used and any students caught reading other texts would be expelled immediately.
The book was primarily about Pythagoras and his theories of mathematics. It was not written by Pythagoras himself but by some of his followers. Unfortunately as well as containing mathematical laws which are still held as being fundamental mathematical principles today, it also contained some misinterpretations of theories, some theories which were incorrect, and some theories made up by the writers themselves which were right off the track completely. They apparently thought that they knew Pythagoras well enough to include their own theories alongside of those of Pythagoras.
The writers of the text were so astounded by the mathematical discoveries of Pythagoras and his supernatural ability to calculate the seemingly incalculable that only they believed him to be “God’s Only Real Mathematician” and no one else could possibly attain the same standard of mathematical ability, therefore it would be useless to try.
Many men, before and after Pythagoras have tried to reach such mathematical excellence but all have failed. Therefore, according to the writers of the text it is only natural to assume that Pythagoras must have been a special man sent to Earth specifically for the purpose of giving his entire life to maths so that man no longer should have to worry about working out difficult maths problems.
And so it was, Pythagoras had become a sort of maths “Saviour” to all of his followers.
They students of Pythagoras Hill State School from time to time would be asked to recite certain passages from their maths text book like –
“No one gets into high school except by Pythagoras and whosoever believeth in him should no longer have to persist with maths to be accepted into high school.”
And
“There is no other name given in Heaven or on Earth whereby man shall be saved from having to do high level maths.”
The students believed these quotes to be of ultimate truth but none of the students had ever left year seven – so no one ever really knew for sure. The education system simply made the students at Pythagoras Hill State School repeat year seven all the time and hoped that one day they would realise the truth and leave the school with the aim of furthering their knowledge of maths. Their maths was so bad they didn’t even realise they were repeating year seven all the time.
From time to time teachers of maths from higher spheres of learning would be saddened by the unusual set of circumstances and would enrol at the school as staff to try and somehow encourage the brighter students to go on and study more maths. They were often very much appreciated because their learning was sometimes obviously in advance. Sooner or later they would be discovered speaking of that which was contrary to the school text and naturally they would be asked to leave the school. The school would then pray for the teacher to accept Pythagoras as Creator of all Maths and come to know that with Him no more maths is necessary.
They say that somewhere in another mathematical sphere the great Pythagoras is still doing maths and teaching others, but every time he hears of the growing numbers of the school of Pythagoras he cries a silent tear and wonders how the maths he taught so long ago got so mixed up.
He wonders if the students of Pythagoras Hill State School will ever realise that it is their divine purpose to one day all be mathematicians like Pythagoras…
As a sort of bizarre P.S. and to close this post with something even more contentious…
I bow out at around 3.10 mins in terms of supporting the meaning but I thought it was worth posting to see how you all feel about this passionate person with a passionate message.
Oh, and just to be super, duper clear I do not hate religion. Our vision would be to simply to bring more Love (and therefore Truth) to every organisation and religion on the planet. Hating will never be as strong as loving, and love never excludes anyone from its gifts or promise.
Notes Along The Way 