About Me & The Blog

Unexpected

 

My life took an unexpected turn when I met a man who claimed to be Jesus. It wasn’t his claim that so stunned and surprised me. (I’d met interesting characters before) The surprise was that I began to have a very intense and emotional experience of remembering him and a life we had had together that spanned the first century and many years together in spirit.

 

This knowledge didn’t come to me as a sudden bolt of lightning bolt nor as a mystical spirit guided adventure. It was more like a series of gut-wrenching, terrifying, emotional experiences – similar to the re-experience of suppressed trauma. At the time these feelings were totally confusing and seemingly unrelated to my current life in any way.

 

Prior to this my life had not been noted for its spiritual pursuits or enlightened status, but neither, I believe, had I been regarded as very ‘flaky’, prone to whimsical flights of fancy or bizarre metaphysical experience.

 

It was really all quite unexpected.

 

So AJ (Jesus) and I didn’t start our relationship with a whirlwind romance nor did I feel any sense of excitement to realise who I was. It was actually nearly the exact opposite. I was shocked, challenged, and afraid of my feelings and what they meant.

 

I got angry.

 

I couldn’t deny my experience but boy did I try! I thought I had my life figured out and yet now there were deeper things stirring in me and even with time and distance from AJ (which I have taken many times since we met) I couldn’t deny that I now wanted more from life than what I’d had before and that if I was going to live with deeper meaning I would have to resolve who I was.

 

Now four years later, I still grapple to come to terms with who I am and what that means on a grander scale. These intense emotional experiences continue today and as I allow them, more understanding and insight comes to me. I feel grateful and in love with AJ but life doesn’t yet feel completely simple. Actually, I’m no where near simple clarity on life yet. (smile)

 

I am so passionate about what we teach – I believe it is the answer to living at our fullest potential as human beings – yet many times I still want the issue of our identities to go away. It’s a desire that does me no service. For if we are to experience this true potential, to become the amazing beings God created us to be, we will each of us have to come to terms with who we truly are. That means connecting with what we desire and love, but also with what we have experienced in the past. And this truth counts for me as much as it does for anyone else.

 

So my challenge is to live these teachings in the truest and fullest way I can. This means humility to whatever comes along, including this experience, these emotions and knowledge of a former life on earth and in spirit, that are so much a part of me.

 

That often makes me feel crazy. Sometimes I want to hide.

 

But lately I want to share my heart for God and the beauty we may find in a relationship with our Creator.

 

So if you are new to this blog, I’m sure if you read the archives you will feel my struggle, and sense my distress at times when I’ve been less humble and projected my need outwards. I started to blog because I was writing anyway – volumes and volumes of thoughts and reflections as I grappled to come to terms with this massive life change. Someone guided me to feel that perhaps sharing these things would be valuable to others. But I’m not sure if it hasn’t all really been to help me work through my fears. 🙂

 

I have no doubt that what and how I share will continue to change as I continue to change and grow.

 

My feeling now is that a story becomes meaningful as it unfolds, that no single point in the narrative is as significant as the deeper meaning inherent in the journey. So perhaps you will forgive my less graceful moments in prose and join me on a journey?

Mary Magdalene

April, 2012

 

 

The School of Pythagoras

By Geoffrey Whitehead

Long ago in a far off land a school had been established. This school was known far and wide as “The School of Pythagoras”. It was situated right in the middle of a fairly large village called “Pythagoras Hill”. The school was a little bit different from most because majority of the boys and girls who attended the school were over 40 years of age. The students could not leave the school because no high school would accept students with such a poor understanding of maths.
Now this was really quite strange because all of the students of Pythagoras Hill State School thought that maths was their best subject. They thought they had maths all sown up. In fact they believed that now that they had enrolled at The School of Pythagoras, maths would no longer be a matter of concern. You see, this school followed the text called “The Great Mathematician Pythagoras”. The school believed that as far as maths goes this text could not be beaten. The book was held in so high regard that no other text was allowed to be used and any students caught reading other texts would be expelled immediately.
The book was primarily about Pythagoras and his theories of mathematics. It was not written by Pythagoras himself but by some of his followers. Unfortunately as well as containing mathematical laws which are still held as being fundamental mathematical principles today, it also contained some misinterpretations of theories, some theories which were incorrect, and some theories made up by the writers themselves which were right off the track completely. They apparently thought that they knew Pythagoras well enough to include their own theories alongside of those of Pythagoras.
The writers of the text were so astounded by the mathematical discoveries of Pythagoras and his supernatural ability to calculate the seemingly incalculable that only they believed him to be “God’s Only Real Mathematician” and no one else could possibly attain the same standard of mathematical ability, therefore it would be useless to try.
Many men, before and after Pythagoras have tried to reach such mathematical excellence but all have failed. Therefore, according to the writers of the text it is only natural to assume that Pythagoras must have been a special man sent to Earth specifically for the purpose of giving his entire life to maths so that man no longer should have to worry about working out difficult maths problems.
And so it was, Pythagoras had become a sort of maths “Saviour” to all of his followers.
They students of Pythagoras Hill State School from time to time would be asked to recite certain passages from their maths text book like –
“No one gets into high school except by Pythagoras and whosoever believeth in him should no longer have to persist with maths to be accepted into high school.”
And
“There is no other name given in Heaven or on Earth whereby man shall be saved from having to do high level maths.”
The students believed these quotes to be of ultimate truth but none of the students had ever left year seven – so no one ever really knew for sure. The education system simply made the students at Pythagoras Hill State School repeat year seven all the time and hoped that one day they would realise the truth and leave the school with the aim of furthering their knowledge of maths. Their maths was so bad they didn’t even realise they were repeating year seven all the time.
From time to time teachers of maths from higher spheres of learning would be saddened by the unusual set of circumstances and would enrol at the school as staff to try and somehow encourage the brighter students to go on and study more maths. They were often very much appreciated because their learning was sometimes obviously in advance. Sooner or later they would be discovered speaking of that which was contrary to the school text and naturally they would be asked to leave the school. The school would then pray for the teacher to accept Pythagoras as Creator of all Maths and come to know that with Him no more maths is necessary.
They say that somewhere in another mathematical sphere the great Pythagoras is still doing maths and teaching others, but every time he hears of the growing numbers of the school of Pythagoras he cries a silent tear and wonders how the maths he taught so long ago got so mixed up.
He wonders if the students of Pythagoras Hill State School will ever realise that it is their divine purpose to one day all be mathematicians like Pythagoras…
G. WHITEHEAD
Circa 1985

                             ***************************************************

As a sort of bizarre P.S. and to close this post with something even more contentious…

I bow out at around 3.10 mins in terms of supporting the meaning but I thought it was worth posting to see how you all feel about this passionate person with a passionate message.

Oh, and just to be super, duper clear I do not hate religion. Our vision would be to simply to bring more Love (and therefore Truth) to every organisation and religion on the planet. Hating will never be as strong as loving, and love never excludes anyone from its gifts or promise.

With love for your weekend,

Mary

Even As I Am Fully Known

So often I still catch myself believing that love is something that comes after I do a thing.
“I’ll deserve love once I’m wise
When I’m good enough everyone will love me
Only when I’ve proved myself can I be worthy
When I’m pretty, when I’m strong, when I’m humble, once I… when I… then I will be loved”
These messages run yet in my head and heart.
I fail to see love as something that is there for me before I am perfect, I don’t believe I’ll have it while I grow.
The Truth, the beautiful, awe-inspiring, mind-blowing Truth is that God’s Love is there for us no matter what we do. We are Loved – full stop.
He shows us we are worthy through this Gift.
And those on earth, who truly love us, do so before, during and after. They accept and love us just as we are. They place no demands on us nor expect a thing.
I have come to see that there is no such thing as conditional love.
True love, real love, is alwaysunconditional.
And such a gift has the power to change and heal every one of us, if we would only let it in. 

1 Corinthians 13   

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 
Bible Verse: New International Version (emphasis added)
Do you catch yourself trying to earn Love rather than just receive it?

When Anger Stops Us Seeing A Friend

When we begin to open our eyes and hearts to the level of addiction that has existed in our lives sometimes its tempting to declare “Well no one has ever loved me! True friendship is a fallacy.”

Even if we don’t admit it, deep down, many of us feel cynical about love and friendship. All the little hurts have added up and while we may not say it out loud a part of us has become hard.

But for most of us there have been people – amongst the comings and goings, the growing and learning phases in our lives – who have extended the hand of friendship our way. 

Its true, we may not have noticed.

These special people can pass us by if we want to hold onto our grief and pain, if we want to blame and be victims.


It happens because we get angry instead of sad.

We get angry because we hurt and don’t want to know it. We don’t want to open up again, to feel how alone and sad and friendless we felt before, when our feet were small and hearts tender.

I know this because I have been there. 

Sometimes the hurt of feeling friendless, abandoned, unloved and unimportant feels too much and I just want to hold onto angry disillusionment instead. 
And if you are like me, then when we do this, when we shut down in this way, we not only miss the chance to receive the gifts and gratitude of true friendship but we also prevent ourselves becoming true friends to others.

When we are willing to be humble to the pain we feel, we will stop trying to have those around us alleviate it, and begin to have something to give.
Before this can happen however we will need to stop blaming others, we will stop waiting for the world to make things fair and safe for us to share and speak and be ourselves.
We will have to ask –
Do I want to be true even if others aren’t?
Do I want to give more than I want to justice?
How much do I want to love?
The story of ‘Through the Mists’ shows us many beautiful examples of friendship in action, not the least of which is Fred’s own life. Fred was a lonely man while on earth, he lacked love and support from almost everyone in his society yet he lived his life in service and friendship to those less fortunate. His humility made him not full of self but of compassion; his integrity made him willing to risk ridicule in order to live by the principle of love he aspired to. 
I have learnt that to be a true friend I will require humility. It may mean taking steps that feel risky. 
But mostly to be your friend I will have integrity. I will honour love and truth above my image or comfort. 
And in thisI will serve as a matter of course.
Who has been a friend to you in your childhood or life today? What did they teach you about life and love?
 

Be Real, Be Loved

Yesterday I talked about overlooking friendships. I said that not so long ago I’d asked myself:

“If I can’t see the love extended towards me from those around me, how can I know it and receive it from God?”

This question opened my eyes to many things.

When we live steeped in addictions and co-dependence true friendship doesn’t always stand out. It takes a growth in integrity to begin to recognise those that give without trying to getsomething from you. And often when we’ve been used to co-dependence it can feel vulnerable and strange to begin to enter relationships based on love and humility.

I often find myself feeling exposed or insecure or stupid when I can’t ‘control’ the way others will perceive me through projections or addictions in the way that I used to.

As I let the real me speak, the child in me identifies risk.

All of the times as a child that I was made fun of, or judged, or rejected, or just not approved of when being myself taught me to play it ‘safe’ and hide myself in gradually increasing increments. I replaced these ‘self-parts’, my ‘whole-heart’, my ‘true-ness’ with parts I thought would please everyone, until one day (not so long ago) I realised that my heart was closed off and I had lost the ability to sincerely love and to be loved.

It’s hard to let love into a heart that is walled off by fake parts. And as I tear down the barricade I often find myself overwhelmed with emotion. When love reaches behind the façade it is such a contrast to the loneliness my true self had grown accustomed to, that I often melt into tears.

So I’ve learnt that sometimes friendship requires bravery. Sometimes it means taking a step that feels risky. It means taking down the walls and opening up to the possibility of love once again. It means having the courage to grieve as well as be real.

I see the same thing reflected in my relationship with God.

Have you ever realised that you overlooked a true friend in favour of an addictive relationship?

The Fruits of Friendship

Each day this week I’m reflecting on friendship.
In my journey to understand true friendship, I realised something truly humbling. That is, that many times over the years I have completely overlooked people who extended true friendship to me.
I’ve done this for many reasons.
Sometimes it was because I’d never stopped to consider the qualities of true friendship. I was constantly seeking addictive relationships in order to make me feel safe, or validated, or liked.
Sometimes I recognised the character and goodness in the person but I felt so vulnerable and insecure about myself that I withdrew from them thinking they wouldn’t like me.
Sometimes I was just completely self-involved in my own life and issues that I didn’t even notice that the gift of love and acceptance was right there beside me. I didn’t see a gift without strings attached when it was offered to me.
How sad I feel to have rejected such gifts.
I recently asked myself the question: “If I can’t see the love extended towards me from those around me, how can I know it and receive it from God?”
Last Wednesday at the book group and karaoke night, the gift of friendship was extended to all of us present.
There were quiet helpers who gave us their time without demand for payment or recognition.
They set-up the sound system, they set out your chairs, they recorded it all, they charged batteries, set-up microphones, played music, cut-out feedback, and then packed it all up and stacked it in the van. They give you the gift of their time, their service, and their expertise almost every time we meet.
Did you see them? Did you notice the fruits of friendship all around you?
Often friendship is a quiet gift, by its very nature it does not demandour attention. Instead it ripens and bears fruit. It is enacted not just felt.
I am reminded that many who have now passed still serve me and offer me friendship. Fred and Robert James Lees extend their friendship across a century assisting me to grow and learn.
Also that each of us is surrounded daily by invisible brothers and sisters who wish to guide us to greater love and safety.

   *******************************************************************

Huge gratitude to these people who helped out on Wednesday.

Lena, Igor & AJ
 

To Lena – who has learnt how to edit video files so that we can bring you the book group on youtube every  week. She edits the video for upload each week and also operates a video camera and helps with set-up and pack-up.

To Igor & Vlad – who operate a camera and handle sound during presentations. Igor is our usual video editor and Vlad is learning the ropes. Igor uploads all files to youtube.

Joy & Cavil

 To Joy – who was the first to arrive and last to leave. I believe this made her stay at the Wondai Hall more than 10 hours!

Cavil

My AJ – who has individually purchased every piece of sound and video equipment we use, he maintains all of it, and understands how each item works. He has trained all of us in how to use these things and is involved in and oversees every set-up and pack-up we do. He packs the van and unloads. He backs-up every piece of data we collect. He edits all of the audio files that appear on our website.

Diana, Jane, Joy & Laurleen
Vlad & Igor

Jane & Anto

 To Diana, Cavil, Anto & Jane– who handled hall logistics, and mucked in with technical support or whatever was needed at the minute.

You guys are awesome

Some great guy who would probably rather be playing guitar!

My special thanks to these wonderful people and many others who often show up and quietly add their hands to the task. (I think Joy calls you her ‘silent ninjas’!) Every one of them is led by their own passion in these areas and their desire to serve others.

A Friend Indeed

On Wednesday at the book group we discussed the question “What is true friendship?”
This is a question that I have given weight to over the past year. In December 2010 Fi and I talked about friendship. I tearfully told her that I would like to be her friend, a real friend. I’d just lost faith that I had any idea about how that would look in practice.
You see I’d realised that I had often used friendships to avoid rather than express myself. I’d noticed that I’d used ‘friendships’ with women to avoid my loneliness and soulmate grief.
I’d begun to feel how hurt I’d been in my relationship with my mother and how that had effected every relationship with women since.
Too often I’d tried to gain approval rather than been willing to give or receive the gifts of true friendship.
Our conversation really started me on a quiet journey of self-reflection and it’s been a road on which I’ve paused at times to grieve what I thought I knew but didn’t, what I thought I’d lost but had never really had.
Here is what I have felt and learnt about friendship in the past year:
–       a friend will tell you the truth of who they are and how they feel
–       a friend won’t withdraw when they are challenged by the way we feel or live
–       a friend lovesand gives without expectation, demand or desire for anything in return
Since I began to pray and desire to understand true friendship I have come to see that some of the people I thought were true friends were not, and some people I didn’t consider much had more integrity than I anticipated and offered me the qualities of friendship as a natural part of themselves.
Friendships, by nature of their honesty, their love, their gifts and their steadfastness in the face of change, can not only nourish us but also challenge us, and help us grow. 
At times in the past I’ve used ‘friendships’ as ways to have commiseration for my woes and agreement for my self-righteousness and anger. 
I now believe it is a true friend that will honour love and truth above accord in their relationships. And this not only makes them trustworthy, it makes them a friend in deed, in word and in spirit. It grounds them as an ally as I seek to honour for these things myself.
In the example in “Through the Mists” Helen and Frederick met only briefly while on earth, yet in that time they displayed to each the qualities of true friendship and thus formed a bond that reached beyond their earthly lives and into the heavens. Fred was so humble, so without demand or expectation, that he hardly understood that he should be rewarded for his gift of friendship nor did he see the measure of the gift he had given Helen i.e. peaceful resolution of her loving desire to have her charges cared for after her passing.
 

Have you experienced a friendship that has not only nourished you but also challenged you to be a better person?

And Still More Book Group Info..

Thanks to everyone who attended the first book group yesterday. There were slightly more of you than I had anticipated. (laugh) In my mind I had pictured just a small group in a semi-circle chatting about the first chapter in a very relaxed manner, not a ‘lights, camera, action’ type affair.
However I’m so encouraged that so many people are interested in reading these books anew (and some for the first time). I feel there is so much valuable content in there and I will aim to be concise in my presentation and also allow time to explore your thoughts and questions. There is much learning and growth to be had for me here too. I’ll do my best to serve the purpose of our group.
A special thanks to those of you yesterday who took the bull by the horns and launched in with questions and reflections.
After the group yesterday, we all thought it better to have a later start time so the new times are listed below.
Thanks for your patience as we iron out the logistics.
Wednesday 21st March – Wondai Council Hall – 3.00pm (followed by Karaoke at 6.00pm)

Thursday 29th March – Wondai Diggers RSL – 3.00pm

Tuesday 3rd April – Wondai Diggers RSL – 2.30pm

Thursday 12th April – Wondai Diggers RSL – 3.00pm

Wednesday 18th April – Wondai Council Hall – 3.00pm (followed by Karaoke at 6.00pm)

Tuesday 24th April – Wondai Diggers RSL – 2.30pm

More On The Book Group

*** Updated to Correct an Error in Dates for Book Group Meetings
Meeting previously published as April 4 should read April 3 at the Wondai Diggers Club
Also updated below

Thanks to everyone for your enthusiastic response to the book group idea. I have received some questions via email regarding participation in the group, forming your own groups and re-reading the book.

Rather than answer more individual emails I thought it a better idea to just post the responses here.
Participating In The Book Group Long Distance
A few people have emailed saying that they would like to contribute their answers via email prior to the meetings. I love the idea that some of you want to be involved in the book group long distance!
If you send me your answers before the groups I will be able to share some of your thoughts, feelings and questions with the people here during our group, and then once the videos are completed you will be able to hear the thoughts and feelings of those in Australia. Beautiful. Keep in mind though that I won’t be able to share everyone’s contribution every time.
If you are keen to do this I will post all of the dates and corresponding chapters on the blog below so that you can see where we are up to and email your answers accordingly. I will need to receive your responses before 10am on the day of the group (Timezone – UTC + 10).
Of course you may wish to just follow along and do the reading and questions for yourself in your own time which sounds great as well. No need to share unless you desire it!
Making Your Own Book Group
Others have also emailed about starting their own book groups. First, you definitely don’t need my permission to start your own group. If you want to start a group then go for the desire!
I love that there is so much enthusiasm out there.
With that in mind, here are some thoughts I had about how this group may assist other groups.
My idea was that the videos of the groups may form a useful tool for another group to start their own discussion of the book, or a Divine Truth meet-up group, especially if the person wanting to start the group is new to the Way or has little experience running groups.
People could meet each week having done the specific reading, watch the youtube video and then have their own discussion. This gives some structure to a group if the leader is worried about generating ideas for discussion or format for a group.
So if group leaders wait until at least a few of the clips are up, you will get to see how it ran in Wondai, any problems that we had (which you could then hopefully avoid) and any things that worked really well.
Also if you only have a small group of people interested, you could us the clips to watch when you meet up. That way you get to add the thoughts and ideas of those in the Wondai group to those of the people in your small group which may make for interesting discussions.
To my mind, the group would still need a leader to take responsibility for leading discussion and addressing any issues of love within the group. Also the group may not want/ need to watch the videos after a few sessions as they may be in their own flow, have their own ideas on how they want it to run and be following the format easily.
So I think it is totally up to you how you decide to proceed. At this stage, it is unlikely that the videos will be available immediately after the sessions i.e. it may be hard for whoever does the editing to keep up to the week by week sessions.
Some people in other areas are planning follow with the book reading week by week for themselves or in a small group regardless of the videos.
Personally, I think the books are wonderful, so I am just enthusiastic that so many people are thinking of reading them!
Keep in mind that any group we run (you or me or anyone) will be a great demonstration, through the Law of Attraction, reflecting to us any unhealed emotions we may still have.
In this way, following our passions and taking initiative, can create a lot of growth rapidly, as long as we are humble.
If You Have Already Read the Book But Want To Be Involved
I’ll be recommending to everyone who comes to the group here, that even if they have read the book in the past, it’s a great idea to re-read the allocated chapter before we meet and complete the questions. My experience with reading these books is that when I go back and re-read I find more meaning each time.
Part of the reason I am passionate about these books and the idea of a book group specifically with them, is that I actually found the prose and content quite difficult the first time I picked them up. I put them down again for years. Having recently picked them up again and now finding them incredibly beautiful I thought that perhaps meeting up and discussing them chapter by chapter may open them up for more people who maybe struggled like I did the first time they attempted a reading.
If You Live in the Local Area But Can’t Attend Every Week

It is also fine if you can’t attend the book group on all of the days in Wondai, so long as when you do come you are up to date with all of the prior and current readings and questions.
If everyone in attendance has done the readings and questions it means that they are able to give/ contribute at the groups, rather than merely ‘take’ from the experience and reflections of others.
Remember that one of the main purposes of the group is to encourage a self-reflective process around the principles of Divine Truth, Divine Love, Natural Love and Morality. If you are not actively engaged in this process through the readings and questions, then the purpose is lost.
Planned Dates for Meetings With Mary In Wondai
Mar 15, Thursday, Wondai Diggers Club                  Preface & Chapter 1
Mar 21, Wednesday, Wondai Town Hall                  Chapter 2
Mar 29, Thursday, Wondai Diggers Club                  Chapter 3
Apr 3, Tuesday, Wondai Diggers Club                      Chapter 4
Apr 12, Thursday, Wondai Diggers Club                  Chapter 5
Apr 18, Wednesday, Wondai Town Hall                   Chapter 6

Apr 24 Tues (not confirmed) Wondai Diggers Club  Chapter 7
 
Love to you all, thanks for your questions and enthusiasm,
Happy reading,
Mary